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Gibberings CXIII : A walk in the park

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Mugz ask the entities if they know which numbers going to come up on roulette, you can be quids in in no time.
 
Mugz said:
hopefully he'll be able to refer me to some good psych or something and things can start getting better.
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you can't just sit in front of a "psych" nodding and agreeing and making the right noises, and then go out and carry on business as usual, which is what you seem to do with everybody else's advice.

Well, you can, but things won't start getting better.
 
TheSpade said:
Mugz ask the entities if they know which numbers going to come up on roulette, you can be quids in in no time.
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They only come at night and they haven't seemed to have found me at my dads, and they don't disrupt our reality, unless it is to try and teach a valuable lesson, one which I should be taking advantage of. The one they taught me before was that if I can control a ball of light/static energy that is based in their reality then I should be able to control my own reality pretty damn easily, maybe they are giving up on me too until I do start controlling my own reality in a positive way.

StoneHappyMonday said:
This forum should be renamed Other Mugz
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Someone else said something similar earlier today in TC, I don't mean to take over the forum, everyone is free to participate and have their own discussions, people just seem to get drawn into my "drama" more than other stuff in some threads, I know it is well meant, and I will show everyone over the next few days, weeks, and months how different and more stable I have become.

Mailmonkey said:
you can't just sit in front of a "psych" nodding and agreeing and making the right noises, and then go out and carry on business as usual, which is what you seem to do with everybody else's advice.

Well, you can, but things won't start getting better.
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That is very true, but I want the help from them, not just to nod at them. I want to take positive steps, I'm stuck in a rut right now, and my stupid self rationalisation is giving me one last night of destruction before I get it all on the right track tomorrow.
 
I think it's a bit of both, when I was "settled" and living in a home and living a relatively normal life with angel for about a year after the summer of meph that we had I felt like I was grown up and all my problems had simmered down or gone away, then my brain did something stupid, kicked in a grass may be greener complex and it wasn't, it was all dead grass, and it was horrible and it has been ever since :(
 
That's understandable because you lost something huge, but that should now help you to appreciate new opportunities more when they come along.
 
Mugz said:
blah blah blah blahblah.....and it was horrible and it has been ever since :(
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Hold that thought Mugz. Repeat it to yourself when you're about to leave for the casino later, or when you're reaching for the phenaz/etiz, or when you're wishhing you had some meph....

You can stop the horrible.
 
Pretty hard when it's impossible to move on

Mailmonkey said:
Hold that thought Mugz. Repeat it to yourself when you're about to leave for the casino later, or when you're reaching for the phenaz/etiz, or when you're wishhing you had some meph....

You can stop the horrible.
Click to expand...

Maybe you're right, that's where it has to start, everything is in my own control, I have learned that, it's just knowing it and using it that is a problem right now.
 
Pretty hard when it's impossible to move on
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So it's impossible but then you say in the same post...

everything is in my own control, I have learned that
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See how that doesn't make sense Mugz? Nothing is impossible (well some things are but this fucking isn't).
 
Mugz, am I correct in thinking you would really like love to come around again?

And doesn't your behaviour do everything it can to try and make sure that won't happen?

Change behaviour, change life.
 
StoneHappyMonday said:
Mugz, am I correct in thinking you would really like love to come around again?

And doesn't your behaviour do everything it can to try and make sure that won't happen?

Change behaviour, change life.
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You are 100% correct, and I am 60% sure that it would have come around again with angel if I hadn't so dramatically went off the rails when we first split up, I mellowed out a bit since then but seem to be going off the deep end once again.

Change behaviour, change life sounds like one of those self help guru phrases, which are sometimes very helpful. It's just common sense boxed into Self Help Books and stuff but most of it is fucking true we just don't do it. Gonna get on those too, my dad has a fucking mountain of audio tapes I can listen to and try and get my head sorted(not brainwashed) though and I really believe I will get things sorted, takes time though, noone cooked a perfect ramen noodle dish in 1 minute.
 
Part of being grown up is going through with responsibilities, not being for ever full of good intent but never actually backing them.

I say this mainly for the other people in your life, you sound like such a nice interesting person you should be an asset to their lives, you deserve more than just being a drain or a worry.

What Marmz was saying about your dad/his house has a lot of truth. He's already worried cos you turned up early, how long till he's back? What are the chances of him coming home to a spotless house, stacked fridge and cut lawn? I know you might intend do do all this... ;)

Things like you saying you can gamble your money/not pay him back cos he'll be cool with you paying the following months. Thats immature, thats counting on dad to bail you out.
 
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