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Vent/Rant Thread vs. 2 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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I am terrified for my son, terrible situation he's put himself in which has caused me to expect the phone call that no one, esp a parent, wants to receive.
Two extremely horrible evil people from the past are circling like vultures and to be brutally honest, I will be ecstatically happy to hear they have, by whatever means, disappeared permanently w/ no chance of return. And that makes me feel awful and wicked guilty cuz hoping for someone's permanent exit is just not my usual at all.
I do not like negative, destructive thoughts in my head.
And just how is it that some fuckers can go around doing the most terrible shit to people but never seem to have one damn consequence?
Angry, scared, constant anxiety beyond description... Wtf? Why? And idk how much longer before really neg health consequences begin due to carrying this constant anger and anxiety.
Just want my son to be happy and healthy. And safe.
I cannot get the "phone call", he is my only living blood relative, my only child...
-izzy
 
My housemate is the most pessimistic, miserable person, every single day.. It's getting a bit much. I can tell he's suffering from depression, I have done for so long too, and after 2 pathetic OD attempts a week or so ago (the first time I have admitted this to anyone :|)- have been trying my hardest to keep a positive light, stay productive and not dwell on things. But he's the complete opposite, is constantly angry, pissed off at everything. I'm trying my hardest to be there for him, am there whenever he needs to vent, and am good at calming him down and (usually) pretty good at putting him in a better mindset. I'm finding it completely mentally draining though. He won't go to the doctors as he's worried it'll screw up future job opportunities if mental health problems are on his medical history. Which I can understand. I'm the only person he'll communicate with. He refuses to talk to other people where we live- housemates, co-workers, old friends. He thinks the whole world is out to get him.

What should I do? I want to help him, be there for him, but I feel so mentally drained in doing so.

Please, any advice? I have nobody to speak to.
 
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Kace, maybe you could point out that his depression, and all the behaviors the depression manifests, is a far more serious threat to employment (not to mention his life) than seeking help for it. After that, you have to think about yourself. If you are really depressed yourself you are going to have to put your energies into how best to change that in your own life. I'm glad you survived. Take good care.<3
 
herbavore said:
Kace, maybe you could point out that his depression, and all the behaviors the depression manifests, is a far more serious threat to employment (not to mention his life) than seeking help for it. After that, you have to think about yourself. If you are really depressed yourself you are going to have to put your energies into how best to change that in your own life. I'm glad you survived. Take good care.<3
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Thanks for your reply. Employment wise- he's doing excellent at working all the hours and being on time. He was put on suspended paid break for a mishap a week or so ago, but has now been there long enough for them not to get rid of him unless he has 2 formal warnings.
I used to work for the same company but they forced to hand in my notice after missing a shift (gotta love depression + 16 week one strike probabitionary period).
 
you're a dumbass. you just lost the best thing that'll ever happen in your life. too bad you had to be such a dick, are you stupid? you knew from the start you were dating someone with BDP, you knew how crazy and impulsive i was, you've known me for years, and you begged to be in this relationship. what's with guys that stop trying once they get the girl? you're just a dick. stop blaming me for our break up, my childish dramatic behavior, right, that YOU would make worse with your negativity. maybe if you didn't keep putting me down, i'd be in a better mood. whatever, good riddance, you just lost the BEST FUCKIN THING that will ever happen to your life. and you're not fuckin gettin it back once you've realized that.
 
Three months sober is an accomplishment my friend. I don't know you but I think you're being too hard on yourself.
 
I friggin hate the anxiety and joint pain I'm getting with minor w/d's from oxy. Damn Restless leg syndrome, need to get some sleep or atleast try to, didnt sleep for 3 nights and was in a daze last night driving home from my girls place.
 
So get this. I was at my best friend's house... and I see a girl out with her son who was one of my students when I taught. She is now the head pharm tech at a nearby chain pharmacy. She went to the same program I'm in now right after high school. She had the same instructor I had and did her internship at the same hospital, too. I asked her what would I need to do for her to hire me, and she said, "Speak Spanish. I have an immediate opening for a bilingual tech." Doesn't THAT suck some bong water or what?
 
dopaminedump said:
Is continuous oxy use worth the $ and w/d's? honest question
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I vote no. I don't think the addiction is worth the money. If I could still peel them and grind them I would still be on them, I'm sure. The addiction was not worth the money, was not worth the withdrawal, was just plain bad.

However, I submit that the OxyContin high was always worth the money. Continuously.
 
Its getting light outside, my stash is gone. Realitys going to hit in the next couple of hours.
The drugs arnt making the decisions, but I wouldn't mind carrying on my binge.
I've needed the release.
Fuck you life, visit me on monday.
 
Oh. Let me know how it goes. If you are going to enjoy yourself by treating yourself, I'd like to read how the binge goes for you.
 
Just angry at how the Labour party fucked up the UK when they were in power and how we are all paying for it now.
I can't believe that some folk are quite happy to vote for them again when given the chance.
 
That point where inactivity becomes harder than actually doing something, that's pretty much my only drive right now.
 
I'm sick of giving myself to people and being a nice fucking person and getting nothing in return.

I'm going through bitching withdrawals right now but I'm trying to stop using...

I hate this shitty feeling.
 
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