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How High Are You? v. Not High Enough

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Where Wolf? said:
50 mgs diazepam spread through the day (tapering from insane doses, lucky I found a decent doc, and that he doesn't know I do things like...

200mgs oral morphine (time release caps, little beads chewed but still slow-acting, and my tolerance seems to have been jacked waaay up by two recent high-dose DHC sessions. Would much rather have had a fistful of DHC, but overpriced zomorph 10s were all I could get. Tempted to try the local dope tomorrow, having found a connect...bad idea, of course, but...fuck it).

600 mgs Gabapentin to prevent my exceeding 50mgs of Valium, my current taper dose. I do find it helps smoothe out benzo withdrawal, and I had a few bad days of breaking my taper-limit when I found some long-forgotten 3mg Xanax triangles buried deep in my desk earlier this week.

All to get through the post-Yom Kippur blues. Wish I had some weed, or preferably, good, traditional North African hash, but prices are crazy here. and all that's around is name-brand hydro shit that's beyond my budget, and too trippy for the place I'm in. Ah, for just one joint of Thai, sweet Thai...or one of those ten gram staves of Morrocan hash. Why is it so often the decent, friendly dealers of quality and harmless herb who get busted? Prob'ly cos they're friendly and decent.

Envying all the hole-divers, but K's out of reach for now...probably a good thing, 'cos I had that shit in hospital as a child, and every time I have access I end up taking whole grams after MDMA sessions and hole up in places it takes a long time to climb back from...

Disclaimer: the benzo and morph doses, obviously, are appropriate only to a high-tolerance long term pill freak. Don't try this at home unless you've got a habit.
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^Good luck with your taper. I've recently tapered off benzo's, man it was shitty. I do still indulge, but moderately as to make sure I don't become dependant anymore.

OT: Damn, I used all my K, 2 grams since yesterday. Think I'll take a little break from that too haha as I clearly can't control myself with this substance. :D

OT:400mg tramadol with 250mg primidone taken 30min before. Plus many bowl. Feeling quite good.
 
Sniffed a 40 bag of dope after work to unwind. Got all this beautiful light tan dope layed out on my cd case, a beer in hand, and a bowl of dank weed within arms reach. Steak and pasta is currently cooking. Can't really complain about a thing right now...just waiting for this Ravens game to begin.
 
Ahhh the familiar wash of calm of the olamz. Midazolam and loprazolam tonight and alprazolam tomorrow. No oxy for the next few weeks, sigh feels okay now that im midazzling. But i know the stark reality of it will hit me tomorrow, i have no tramadol or meprobamatr anymore either. But atleast ill have my olams..... Peace
 
just woke about a half hour ago - the place was empty. yes! i love being able to start the day by getting high in the living room uninterrupted (and mostly without paranoia of my dad walking in and saying "what the fuck, you got your own room").

casually opened up the windows and latched back the doors to open up and let some air through. did my bathroom routine.

got what i needed and went to the living room and prepped 150mg morphine to IV, swallowed 15mg valium. boom, bam, thankyou ma'am. welcome, friday, i look forward to you.

now sitting here after a sneaky small cone and a stuffing of crumpets with honey, cream and fresh strawberries atop, sipping on a fresh brew of coffee and smoking a cig.

tl;dr - feeling good from IV morphine mang
 
In a weird but more peaceful place now.
Ketamine + weed + 6mgs of etizolam + 80mg citalopram
I wish I had more K.
 
My coworker is awesome.... we became close and shit. Anyways I come into work and she asks me for a cigarette.... so I give her one and she then hands me a morphine 60 for free....just for a Newport and I was already on the free clonazepam that she gave me the other day. She gave me ten of them for free. Anyways I did that earlier at work.... blew it and now a few bags of dope :D
 
K well I took 48mg of codeine. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. I had a lot of ice earlier this week, and my parents ended up catching me. Now they have taken 100% control of my cash flow. They have my debit card, and credit card. And now will look at my account summary and statements at the end of the month. I can't spend SHIT on ANYTHING. THEY ARE FUCKING PISSING ME OFF TO NO END. THEY WON'T EVEN ALLOW ME TO DRINK.

I either have to stick with their bullshit or find a new place to live. I don't know what I'm going to fucking do.
 
An evening alone for once, allowing me to kick back and openly indulge, without having to hide it from anyone that I'm on...

50mgs diazepam

600 mgs gapaentin

Three bags of dope - 0.65gs - decent Afghan powder, my first taste in almost a year. A few small test lines already have me slightly noddy, and that's after 900mgs of DHC on Monday and 200mgs morphine last night. It's really not bad for UK street powder. After months of occasional oxy, DHC and boring old morphine sulphate binges (all oral,save for the odd line of oxynorm), the taste of vapourised H is like a spontaneous soul-kiss with an old flame. I remember why so many prefer H to all other opiates. I thought I'd given up on H for pharms, but ithe bang-for-buck ration is so slanted in favour of H that I think I'll switch my chipping to the street stuff. Even got it delivered.

Sadky no weed, but can't complain, with dope, cigarettes and a calm quiiet house to myself. Won't be able to indulge again for quite a while, so I'm going to go slow and sink into the shadows...and nibble at a peanut butter Kit Kat, 'cos I love to share a little candy with my sweet Lady H.
 
2 mg alprazolam, 400 mg codeine 300 mg lyrica - god damn i miss oxycodone - gonna keep on with this break tho. Trying herion has beeen on my mind a lot recently and I know it's only a phone call away. it's bad considering how compulsive i am with oxycodone.

Edit: forgot to mention a few johnny walker blacks.
 
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