• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ
  • PD Moderators: Esperighanto | JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat

Permanent pupil dilation and noticably darker eyes from ketamine/MDMA? Please Help :(

S

Sublime947

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 29, 2011
Messages
165
Hi.... im an 18 yr old male.


Uploaded with ImageShack.us

I rolled 2 days in a row around 2 and a half weeks ago

The comedown was fine, not too bad and pupils seemed to go back to normal

a few days after that I snorted ketamine, did it about 3-4 times in a row but the bumps were very small amounts

Ever since then, ive noticed that my pupils have gotten slightly larger and my eyes definitely looks darker.. when I look in the mirror in bright light i can distinguish my pupil from the rest of my eye. but in normal looking light or in the dark (which makes it even worse) my eyes look like a big brown blur. I feel as if the outside of my pupil has gotten darker or something.

I have very big brown eyes naturally, but now i cant even see the pupil of my eye looking at a normal distance since my whole eye looks like a very dark brown. its as if it looks that my whole eye is like a blurred very dark look. something not normal...

this is severely hurting my life because my family members look at me differently and I can tell they are worried even though they haven't said anything. Strangers too treat me like im some sort of drugged out freak or something, and I notice that when I speak to people now they tend to look away from my face..

In addition to my messed up looking eyes, I also feel different. It's like Im not totally there with reality. When I sleep and wake up I pray that my eyes go back to normal, but I still feel very weird. I feel dissociated in a way, similar to the feeling of ketamine. When I go out in public I even feel worse due to the thoughts and anxiety of my new looking eyes.

I am desperately seeking help on how to cure this. Im going to start college in a couple of weeks and I dont want to have an impression of some weirdo. Ive stopped wearing my contact lenses and started wearing glasses to hide my eyes more, but its still noticable...
Idk what has caused this. I have researched this and couldn't find anything on permanent pupil dilation. What worries me most is that ive been sober for about 2 weeks now and I still have these strange looking dark eyes. Will they ever return to normal :'(


If anyone could help me I'd be very appreciated... Thank you
 
Last edited:
I think you'll be okay. You didn't take too much of anything too serious. Your dark eye is somewhat darker and your big pupil is somewhat bigger and honestly if that weren't the sort of thing that makes me think you're imagining things I wouldn't have to tell you that you're probably imagining things. If it doesn't hurt your eyes to walk around outside in the daytime (after adjusting), your pupil is undamaged and working as intended.

Ketamine can have a mild persistent effect (afterglow) that certainly doesn't last two weeks and is basically harmless. It may have affected you at first and you didn't notice it disappeared.

Try getting some exercise, preferably of the intense variety. Do as many pull-ups as you can, then run a mile. The diameter of your pupil will seem less important.
 
Thanks atara for the advice, and I'll try exercising alot...

But I know, for a fact, that I am not imagining things. People do look at me differently. Im on a family vacation right now and it makes me sad to see my family members look very worried because of me. They haven't said anything about it but I know for a fact that they know something must be different/wrong...
 
I think the way you act may have a much bigger impact than the color of your eyes. You seem to be extremely nervous, and your family probably notices.

You will probably find it helpful to discuss your drug habits with someone you can trust, that is, in real life. Unfortunately the definition of trust can at this point become strained and oddly restricted as you may understandably not want to tell your parents or siblings. However, you will be surprised, I think, at the level of understanding most people show as long as you are polite and honest.

(Also, protip: you can tell a doctor anything. They won't necessariy have all the answers, but doctors are good people and trust me they've seen a lot worse than you)
 
Ya, my behavior may also play a role, but that's due to the paranoia of my eye appearance too though. i know for a fact my eyes do not look the same. its confusing, i dont know what it is exactly, but theyre definitely different.

and ya if this persists i will see a doctor.

EDIT: i just noticed ppl acting differently around me again this is getting very annoying. ill post a picture

atara edit: consolidated posts
 
Last edited by a moderator:
People's pupils can be naturally dilated depending on their lighting environment. Your eyesight can also affect it, such as those who are short sighted can end up with large pupils. Unless you have given someone reason to suspect your on drugs it's unlikely they will think you are on drugs by your pupils being naturally dilated. You might just be noticing it more?
 
Your eye doesn't look too special to me, unless you took that picture in daylight. If you really want to make your pupil smaller, you can eat a few eggs, or anything else high in choline (liver, cauliflower, bacon), but otherwise -- don't worry about that it's fine and if anyone gives you trouble for it they're crazy.
 
I think you're over thinking it to. My opinion is just take a break exercise be healthier. When I was doing MDMA my family noticed a bit of a difference in me and they were concerned and I stopped. It really could just be the way you're acting. Peoples pupils do contract in different lighting. I really wouldn't over worry about it but if you really are concerned you could visit the eye doctor if it would put you at ease and you have insurance no big deal in that especially if it gives you peace of mind. I use to get a little paranoid like that with my family or even at work maybe even still do sometimes even though I've been sober. Don't let it control your life. I've felt that dissociation feeling and I really think it gets better and go away even if you have to be sober for a bit. I've had a crazy trip in my past and I get that feeling sometimes or nervous and I've gotten panic attacks. As far as reality this is it whether there's different ones or not this is ours right here right now so no need in stressing shit. Good luck man hope things get better but I definitely have felt the after glow on different substances hell sometimes I even feel an after glow after a drunk night everyone reacts different and has effects longer then others. I even went to therapy for awhile just to help me out with issues and have someone to talk to.
 
Last edited:
Thanks for the reassurance,

Yeah I think im going to continue exercising and eating healthier.

I did exercise this morning and did some heavy weight lifting and my brain did feel very dizzy/lightheaded though for some reason. Something that never occured before.

But im going to keep pushing myself till i feel normal again.
 
I think you'll be okay add well...i feel the afterglow from any mind alterant for a long time....think I remember reading that neurotransmission doesn't reach absolute "normality"until close to a month after any profoundly altering experience...how they measured that I don't know lol, but I remember reading it...!

In terms of parents....they seem to always notice things I wouldn't expect. My mom had never asked me about acid ever, though she knew I was a stoner. The morning after my first acid trip she asked if I had been messing around with acid lol not accusingly as though she noticed something different but seemingly intuitive and casual enough.

my dad always knew when I was tripping, even if I just walked in the room and didn't have a chance to make it noticeable. Ha

when I first started tripping regularly I noticed that I wasn't at peace inside myself while hiding my substance use from loved ones....i was in my very brief exploration of pills and ecstasy at the time and I realized I didn't want to be a user of anything that I couldn't proudly proclaim to the world that I was involved with. So I turned my path and left behind those things I wasn't proud of. Sometime after I just openly told my parents that I loved trippingbut had chosen to abstain from what I consider intoxicants...pills alcohol ecstasy etc.

that's my story, but perhaps you are picking up on the unspoken communication you and your folks are exchanging. Many don't care what their parents think of them or their substance use, but I value truthfulness as well as being open, I don't like having to hide things from anyone. So for me the refinement of my choices and the unveiling of my lifestyle put me much at peace. I am proud of the plants in my life now and feel no tension when interacting with loved ones.

You'll be okay though! Best of progressions brother
 
Whenever I do MDMA or a close relative of it, I feel vaguely dissociated for a week or so afterwards. It is unpleasant but what you are experiencing happens to many people.

Rolling two days in a row is very rough on the mind for some and ketamine can really have a pronounced effect. I am willing to bet your pupil was dilated for a day or so after the experience and now you're just fixated on it leading to a spiral of anxiety - anxiety making you act somewhat different, different behavior drawing slight attention, attention causing more anxiety.

You're going to be fine. Don't do anymore drugs and try to reduce the attention you yourself are paying to your eyes. You will feel better - it will just take some time.
 
atara said:
Your eye doesn't look too special to me,
unless you took that picture in daylight. If you really want to make your pupil smaller, you can eat a few eggs, or anything else high in choline (liver, cauliflower, bacon), but otherwise -- don't worry about that it's fine and if anyone gives you trouble for it they're crazy.
Click to expand...
the pic was in daylight lol
 
Everyone's eyes react slightly different to light. My pupils are always a little bigger than they should be, last time I went to see a doctor he told me so. Said it's normal. You're just paranoid, people are not looking at pupil size in college lol Relax, you're going to be fine. Just show up to class knowing what's going on and your professor will cherish you=) Seems like you're having anxiety, may want to meditate a bit. Helps a lot actually.
 
I only did K once didn't like it rolling I did like a million times all the way up to 05 then I went thru a drug induced psychosis. My pdoc says it wasn't my fault but, I believe it was. When I would roll My pupils would stayu large for about a week light was hard to see. PPl's reaction to seeing me made me paranoid. It's like what have you never seen a guy with big pupils. But I can understand your concern. Just try to take it easy and in time it could fade away.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top