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TDS Social thread vs. 2012.1

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I just watched Requiem for a Dream again .. The storyline that makes me cry (And I never cry at movies) is the one of the mother.. It breaks my heart. The actress does an amazing job, absolutely stunning.

I would literally kill before I let that happen to my mother.. Sorry, not sure if this is allowed or not actually, might be triggering for some? I didn't know where else to post though -- feel free to delete if it breaks rules. God, I've got tears down my cheeks and I just keep going back and watching the poor woman... God, I hate this movie really. It terrifies me, and makes me feel guilty and oh god I just shouldn't watch it. It doesn't trigger me like Trainspotting does, but it makes me miserable ..

Sorry, no sleep last night 'cos my prescription for seroquel is out. Borrowed some from my friend so hopefully will sleep tonight. Anyone up to talk to me? I'm lonely, Hayley is at work..
 
motherofearth said:
OMG, I spent all day continually posting on BL. What will become of my life when I'm sans internet doing inpatient treatment????
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Bluelight is good like that hehe. I don't know how many times I've spent full days on the board, wayyyyy too many than I care to admit to. I <3 it though. :)

I get a lot of reading done when I don't have internet. Do you knit or anything? That might be something else that could be fun/useful to pick up for when you're sans internet. My ideas of fun are so different from others though.
 
So today was going good, even got a phone call for an interview for a job. Well I told my dad, and then I found out he ended up losing his job (laid off). Shit is fucking with my head. I don't know what my dad has planned to deal with this, or what the situation is going to be with my parents and what not. I just feel upset now. I mean he managed to stave off lay offs for years and years, but the day finally came. I also know a lot of people in his field have trouble finding jobs. I'm not sure what happens to our health insurance either, as I'm still needing their insurance. I'm on methadone and benzos that i get from a neurologist, and I need to make sure I don't end up WDing from them. though I'm sure the insurance will last probably till the end of the year and my plan is by then to be in another state with a decent job with benefits (pharm tech).

Shit is fucking with my head.
 
Cloudy said:
So today was going good, even got a phone call for an interview for a job. Well I told my dad, and then I found out he ended up losing his job (laid off). Shit is fucking with my head. I don't know what my dad has planned to deal with this, or what the situation is going to be with my parents and what not. I just feel upset now. I mean he managed to stave off lay offs for years and years, but the day finally came. I also know a lot of people in his field have trouble finding jobs. I'm not sure what happens to our health insurance either, as I'm still needing their insurance. I'm on methadone and benzos that i get from a neurologist, and I need to make sure I don't end up WDing from them. though I'm sure the insurance will last probably till the end of the year and my plan is by then to be in another state with a decent job with benefits (pharm tech).

Shit is fucking with my head.
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I'm sorry to hear about your dad losing his job - that's hard. :(
 
I wont have insurance after June. I'm worried about how I'm going to be able to keep getting my methadone script. I don't care about keeping my clonazepam script. I can pay for the methadone since it is so cheap, but paying for a neurologist is so expensive. I also can't afford to deal with coming off the methadone right now. It will make my RLS so bad even with a taper, making holding a job extremely hard.

I did have a good interview today, but seems its only a part time job for now. Not even that great of one, but I need to take what I can get atm. If something better comes along I'll take it. Right now I just need to start paying for some of my loans, pay back my parents the little money I now owe them (been paying back), then save up to move. Once I move I should have a pharm tech job with benefits and be able to get settled down for a while. My dad losing his job complicates things a little.
 
That sounds tough cloudy :( But it's good that you're able to pay your parents back money and everything. I remember when my dad lost his job, definitely did not help the financial situation that we were in either... but just keep looking because it is important to have insurance. How are other things going for you though?
 
Things are going pretty good for me (I'm also splatchrome btw, to all the TDSers, lost my password [long story] to this account, but got it changed). I've gotten over my depression, and have been making big moves to making my short term goals true. I've been handling the stress of my credit getting messed up (need to start paying my private loans ASAP), I'm forming a better relationship with my parents, eating healthier, staying in touch with all my friend, not abusing my medications as bad as I was before (now I only do a couple times a month, leaving myself with 2 days with out meds), handling the fact one of my grandmas is in the ICU and has been struggling with various health problems pretty well (cancer being one of them), etc. So things are falling together, but this is complicating everything. The health insurance really is one of my biggest concerns just because I have 3 genetic mutations promoting clotting, a history of blood clots, was in the hospital last year for 6 days from colitis with still some issues with my intestines, as well as my RLS and PLMS. I just really can't afford to risk not having health insurance because of my medical history.

I am happy it seems I got a job, even if it isn't ideal. I'll be real happy when I move back to NC with a pharm tech job. Thats when I can start to save up to go back to college and finish my chemistry degree, and begin my independent life. (I'm 22)
 
Cloudy I'm sorry to hear about your dad losing his job. But congrats for YOUR job interview, and good luck! Let us know how it goes <3
 
He basically implied I have the job since they are pretty bareboned atm. I'll be getting a call from him on Thursday with more details. Sucks its just a part time position, but I'm sure when he sees my job performance I'll get better hours.
 
I start work on Thursday. Just upset about the pay... $7.75, granted my position is a dishwasher... All this sucks because I have 3 years of college, and a hell of a lot of work experience. I'm might try and get him up to $8.00 since I haven't signed any paper work agreeing to it. We'll see what happens. At least it is a job. Once I sign the paper work I gotta tell him I need like 9 days off for the cruise, but I'm hoping that wont be a problem being I'm only a part time employee and said I'm not just a summer employee. This might be true, but not by much. I'm leaving as soon as I pay my rents off the last bit I owe them, and I save enough money up for a deposit on an apartment and two months rent + expenses to move (Though, I'm fine with moving with only my computer, blankets, hammock, and clothes till I have enough money to send the rest of my shit).

Im glad I'm starting to make progress and get my life together. It feels so good. Just terrible some of circumstances that may arise with my dad having no job atm. I'm also worried about finding a doctor where ever I move who will script me methadone or any opioid for that matter. I'm scripted methadone and clonazepam for RLS/PLMS, which a lot of doctors are not educated on. I seriously have a better understanding of the condition that a good amount of doctors with all the research I've done. My neurologist even said to me, "I can't spend the same amount of time researching one disease that many patients can as I have well over 500 differen't conditions I have to know. So I listen to what the patient has to say and suggests for treatment." He's a real reasonable caring man, who understands that what may work for someone may not be the typical therapy and that if something works, why not use it? He also acknowledges the fact that methadone has a stigma which prevents a lot of doctors from prescribing it to patients even though for many individuals it is the best course of treatment. It works great for my RLS and best of all, especially since I don't have a lot of money, the cost of methadone for a 30 day script is really really cheap. The insurance only saves me a few bucks every month on it because I barely pay a thing anyway.

Hope everyone is well.
 
Oh wow Cloudy!!! I was wondering about splat recently. I should have spotted you from the long posts :P. Good to see you back around btw!!

That's exciting about the job though. Bummer it's only $7.75 but that's better than none I can say.

I remember you telling me all about the RLS and methadone. That was some serious schooling you gave me. Interesting information. But it's so good to see you back! You'll be sticking around for a while I am hoping!? <3
 
It looks like you're going on the right path there cloudy I'm proud :) Even if it is going to be a bit shaky along the way just keep going and you're gonna make it.

Man I'm kind of hurt right now.

I've been trying to make plans to see my friend for like 3 weeks now but all she does is make plans with her boyfriend that she gets to see everyday, and it's been 2 months since I've last seen her :( All I do is clear my weekends and she just plans whatever, this is exactly what my ex did too. I'm just a third wheel anywhere I go. when I try to talk to her about it she just tells me how busy she's been with her schedule (which is basically true), and then just ignores the fact that she gives all of her time to him and none to me, I just try too fucking hard. It's not as if she's been so busy she hasn't found time to hang out with him, shit he tells me he barely goes 2 days without seeing her. but what are you doing the monday we have off? OH you're going swimming with your boyfriend, when do you get to see him next? THE NEXT DAY? Well when are you guys going to get to hang out again? Oh right after school that day.
 
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Codependency in relationships sucks, and its really damn common when your wrong. Being HS still (I believe I have this right) sadly a lot of friends are sucked into codependency. I admit I got sucked in my GF my 9th and 10th grade year. I really regret that as, I ended up moving at the end of the summer after my 10th grade year. I could have spent so much more time with my bestfriends than with a silly GF that lied to me telling me she had cancer (when she didn't).
 
Oh man that's terrible cloudy. I wonder where people come up with ridiculous ideas and lies like that :\ Yeah I know cloudy, she'll eventually get out of it, but I just really miss my friend, and she's in complete denial over the whole thing.
 
I'm trying not to dive into the drugs I have right now. I probably should go for a walk, but I hate being out in public when I know I'm going to have tears run down my face the whole time.

fuck I need a cig
 
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