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Condoms make me soft

L

Larson0

Bluelighter
Joined
May 3, 2008
Messages
506
so i've been seeing this new girl for a week. i use condoms when im with her but they make me go soft after 10 or 15 minutes. usually we start out good, foreplay, i bang her she cums. i just kinda lose my wind and it isn't that hard when its wrapped and if i stop for like 10 seconds to move around or whatever it goes soft to where i dont even want to keep trying. she tries going down on me but by then im like fuck and it doesn't come back.

this happened last sunday, then she came over thursday and it happened but we tried again and i was able to keep it hard and cum twice. we tried saturday again and i went soft after a little. very disappointing for me and even if i make her cum she probably thinks im not attracted to her or something.

when im wearing them i can barely feel anything and it feels like it dries her up which makes it even worse.

i use trojan ultra thin. maybe i need to use bigger condoms? is my only option magnums or do they make a middle size?
 
Of course they make a middle size, ahahah. Maybe look into a female condom? Check out other brands? Use lubricant, both inside and outside of the condom.
 
^^

This. Hah. Condoms suck, man.. that's just a known fact. The best thing you can do is have her get you riled up with a blowjob or something before hand, that way you're already pretty stimulated before you have to throw on the rain coat.. They make some ultra thin condoms too, ones that supposedly allow for greater feeling. I've never tried them. My advice..find a chick on the pill hah.
 
I used to use Encare, it is a vaginal suppository that dissolves & causes a barrier to form. One nice side effect is the encare gets warm as it dissolves.
 
lds324 said:
Use lubricant, both inside and outside of the condom.
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This is one thing that really helps. A pea sized drop of lubricant on the tip of your penis before you put the condom on. They should teach this in all sex ed classes. Condoms are still not much fun but with out this they are almost unbearable.
 
Ive used a rubber maybe 5 times in my life..I mean come on.. there is the what if factor..what if she aint got nothing..and what if she dont get pregnant.. than you miss out!
 
have had exactly the same problem for years. Haven't used one for like 2 years mind, maybe evven 3 - although I did try on one occasion last year with some trojans, but nah they ain't for me.

If you intend to use them instead of making good judgement calls on people you fuck: - Get a larger size, or have a shot of liquor. Or try fucking a man.

you either got the wrong size, you're too anxious, or you're gay.
 
i know she doesn't have anything and i've always pulled out without trouble but she is young and thinks "precum" is gonna get her pregnant.

GET ON THE PILL THEN DAMNIT

although i dont want that either so im gonna try to make condoms work as much as they blow
 
i use magnums and my dicks not giant (7.5 inches, 5.5 around), but they are pretty damn snug, they'll probably work for pretty much anyone with a circferance 5 inches or more i'd guess (up intil people who need magnum xls.)
 
i had this problem as a teenager, i totally know how you feel

for me, it took me a while but i figured a few things out

1) i actually had higher standards than i believed. i was actually not that strongly attracted to the women i was having protected sex with, and was just doing so because i believed "i was supposed to". are you sure youre really sexually attracted to this person, or just fucking because her body is both female and available? its not a matter of her being acceptable as "hot" or not, its a matter of how you as an individual match up with her energy and chemistry.
2) foreplay is necessary for men and women to achieve their maximum sexual prowess. without adequate foreplay, everything really just boils down to a functional quickie. keep the foreplay up, sheel cum harder and youre attentions will stay focused longer.
3) sex does not have to conclude with a man cumming. fuck her until she is satisfied, and preserve your orgasm. lay around, have some pillow talk, smoke a bowl, whatever, pass some time. after a while, your body will remind you of its biological drives, and youll be ready again. fuck her until she is satisfied. repeat this process until you got off. if it takes a while, well, you have a very satisfied woman on your hands.

i spent a lot of time in my teens thinking there was either something functionally wrong with me, that condoms were the problem, or just being straight up confused. i never had this problem with unprotected sex, so i thought some thing happened to me in my infancy (circumcision?) that reduced the sensitivity of my dick or something like that. then i just started doing so damned many drugs i forgot about sex for a while, and once i came out of that hole a much wiser and experienced man, i was able to reflect inwardly more and comprehend this "issue."

i kind of have an odd fetish for putting a condom on now. its just this thing that only serves one purpose*, and that purpose is to fuck.

*or plugging mdma up your lady's butt...
 
Use bigger condoms or use a cock ring. You should also try masturbating with a condom on to get used to the feel. The biggest problem guys have with condoms is that they haven't built an association between having one on and feeling pleasure. It just feels foreign and weird, and when their attention focuses on that they lose the erection.

The pill is no guarantee.
 
The same shit happened to me; here I was thinking it was just performance anxiety. :(

i actually had higher standards than i believed. i was actually not that strongly attracted to the women i was having protected sex with, and was just doing so because i believed "i was supposed to". are you sure youre really sexually attracted to this person, or just fucking because her body is both female and available? its not a matter of her being acceptable as "hot" or not, its a matter of how you as an individual match up with her energy and chemistry.
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Worth re-quoting in full.
 
I think performance anxiety is not to be ruled out. Especially with a new partner. I have had this happen and then under different circumstances not happen with the same women.

The condom is just another thing to distract you from the act in progress, if you are already anxious about what is happening its just going to make it worse. Granted the anxiety could be from being with someone you arent suited to but it could also be from a whole mix of other things that have nothing to do with your partner or her suitability as a lover. Insecurity, being in a strange environment, pressure on your self to make the most of the situation the list goes on...
 
rm-rf said:
i had this problem as a teenager, i totally know how you feel

for me, it took me a while but i figured a few things out

1) i actually had higher standards than i believed. i was actually not that strongly attracted to the women i was having protected sex with, and was just doing so because i believed "i was supposed to". are you sure youre really sexually attracted to this person, or just fucking because her body is both female and available? its not a matter of her being acceptable as "hot" or not, its a matter of how you as an individual match up with her energy and chemistry.
2) foreplay is necessary for men and women to achieve their maximum sexual prowess. without adequate foreplay, everything really just boils down to a functional quickie. keep the foreplay up, sheel cum harder and youre attentions will stay focused longer.i spent a lot of time in my teens thinking there was either something functionally wrong with me, that condoms were the problem, or just being straight up confused. i never had this problem with unprotected sex, so i thought some thing happened to me in my infancy (circumcision?) that reduced the sensitivity of my dick or something like that. then i just started doing so damned many drugs i forgot about sex for a while, and once i came out of that hole a much wiser and experienced man, i was able to reflect inwardly more and comprehend this "issue."
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Ditto.
 
Larson0 said:
i know she doesn't have anything and i've always pulled out without trouble but she is young and thinks "precum" is gonna get her pregnant.
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How do you know for a fact that she doesn't have anything?

It's not 100% conclusive as to whether or not there is sperm in pre-ejaculation. She's smart for being cautious. I wouldn't dismiss her for being "young" in this case.
 
sockpuppet said:
Don't feel bad - condoms are horrible. Completely anti-sexual. It's so sad to think that there is a whole generation of people alive today who have NEVER experienced real sex as humans have had it for all our history - but instead have only fucked separated by latex. Many people like myself have never and would never use them unless it was an emergency. Total turnoff.

No one used these except in high school or with prostitutes before the Great Fear. My advice: Both go to the local public health clinic, get screened for HIV/syph/clap - don't worry about anything else, look into some real birth control or stick to sodomy, read up a bit on the REAL risks of various STDs and don't be made fearful by public health hyperbole, and fuck like humans are meant to fuck. Have fun....
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What?? The public health hyperbole? There are a lot of people out there with contagious and incurable diseases. HIV and AIDS are not "urban legends" told to scare young teenagers. There are serious dangers to having unprotected sex. Yes, everyone should get tested but that's being reactive rather than being proactive. Once you test positive you already have the disease, I guess it's too bad/so sad for the people you already infected.

Your statements are beyond health hazardous. People should be cautious about who they sleep with and they should be aware of the dangers involved. It's dangerous to have such unbridled fear, it can cost you your life in a worst case scenario.
 
You more than beat me to it purplefirefly, I understand a reasonable expectation of std's is currently 1 in 5 people are carrying, really made me lose interest in casual sex, as I too detest using a condom
 
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