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Drugs and Family

I wouldn't let them but I would give them some harm reduction and tell them some stories of mine and/or others. Then if I catch them with drugs I will take them and then just go do them in the privacy of my bedroom, lmao.

By the way, I started using drugs as a kid but my parents didn't let me. My dad didn't care too much about pot but my mom cried.... She now doesn't really care well she stopped caring about the pot kind of when I was a senior. Other than that I still did well in school, was in so many sports/clubs...even the national art honor society... Got accepted into a lot of universities. I don't think drugs fucked me over or my mind but the world of drug use isn't accepted... And because of that you can get arrested and lose so much. I wouldn't want that to happen to my kids. I do not want to see them ruin their life before it has even begun.

I don't know how I did it though.... I mean managed to graduate and get into well known schools... Especially being heavily addicted to oxycontin at one point. In the end I wouldn't want my kids to go through that kind of shit. When they're out of my house whatever but even then I won't be like hell yeah, do you...
 
I wouldn't suggest it, but if I found out they were doing things like drinking and smoking pot, I would let them be, and even tell them that if they insist on doing so, to do it in the house. I would however make sure to share with them my experience with drugs. Not so much to scare them, but just to give them a realistic idea of what addiction means.

If I found out my teenager was shooting dope though, it would be off to rehab.. I know that usually doesn't work, but I don't see an alternative, and would do anything to make sure he/she got whatever possible help (even if unwanted) that they'd need.
 
Drugs and children?

I think getting stoned or having ONE maximum 2 alcoholic drinks around children is acceptable. I also think doing a small amount of MDMA around them is also OK, but I do not think they should see you indulging in it, just be around you when on these 3.

My parents - my mum is OK with my drug use, but not really, she knows I take care of myself with regards to them since 2006, but considering I abused weed and alcohol for most of my teens, they are both pretty against them - my dad especially considering he watches too much TV.

He is however a regular controlled drinker, but both his brothers are recovering alcoholics, my mum is borderline alcoholic, and so am I - yet until 2 years ago, my old man always bought me a bottle of rum or champagne as part of my christmas bundle. My mum is always trying to get me to drink with her, and I often crack. Alcohol is the worst, yet I think it's important to know it from an earlier age so as to understand the dangers...maybe.

I would let my child drink a very small amount of alcohol when they came to be 13-14 as this is when a lot of kids over here are getting drunk and stoned, and I would be OK with Giving my children weed to try once or twice at around 13/14 to satisfy their curiousity, under my roof, but make it clear that I do not want them smoking it regularly or drinking regularly until they are at least 18, and I would explain exactly why, through science, anecdotes etc. I would allow my children to try MDMA and psilocybin at age 15/16 ONCE if they were curious, again in the safety of our own home, as I believe these to be invaluable tools in dealing with tday's society. After that I would strongly urge them to wait until they were 18.

Bomboclat said:
ITT: talk about parenting in relation to drugs.

How did your parents deal with your drug use?

How would you deal with your kids drug use?

How do you feel about parents who use when they have kids at home?

For those who arent a parent yet but someday will be:
How has using drugs swayed your judgement as to how you would view your childs use if they were to start using? Or has your use swayed your judgement at all?

Also, feel free to just say what's on your mind when it comes to parenting and drugs.
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I know plenty of people who do not attempt to hide their alcoholism or drug use from their kids, and as someone who grew up around similar situations, let me just say you never forget. Kids aren't as dumb as people think, they catch on.
 
I had junkie parents and I fell far from the tree... Or so I thought. I don't even smoke pot... OR cigarettes. I just happened to start shooting up opiates within the last month or so :\ But I plan to stop, definitely. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Trying to relate to someone I love, initially. Then I told myself it was to kill the pain of a recent injury. I'll have another excuse when the pain subsides... But I DO have a child. I do not do this when they are home.

would not appreciate them using any kind of drugs when they are older. I guess I could live with pot. I'd rather them smoke pot than cigarettes, actually... Anything "harder" and I'd be doing everything in my power to convince them to, and help them to clean up. But IV drugs? I think my heart would break if they ever touched a needle.

I kicked out their dad years ago for being an addict... but he was stealing, spending money we could have used on our kid, etc. All things I hope I would never do. I do have great self control with money... That said, I'm a hypocrite. I don't believe people with kids should use drugs often. Maybe the odd weekend while the kids are at the sitter. Certainly never in front of them. Not with them when they are older. There should not be drugs or paraphernalia in the home. Kids need parents who will always put them first. Money can always be spent on better things than drugs when you have children. Time, as well.

Maybe I'm just spiraling out of control because everyone around me has gotten to be a fuckup and I've always had to keep my composure and take care of everyone... but I am trying to separate this from my kid and so far succeeding.
 
HouseMouse said:
I had junkie parents and I fell far from the tree... Or so I thought. I don't even smoke pot... OR cigarettes. I just happened to start shooting up opiates within the last month or so :\ But I plan to stop, definitely. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Trying to relate to someone I love, initially. Then I told myself it was to kill the pain of a recent injury. I'll have another excuse when the pain subsides...
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Wait did you start off IVing right away or did you slowly get into it? Man, I hope you can stop now before it gets to the point you don't even care about quitting or not... Sounds like you know what's best for you and you should listen to yourself and not that voice inside (heroin) that keeps calling you back. We all thought we never would touch dope but yeah look what has happened. Anyways I wish you the best. Its hard when addiction runs in your family. Its like you try to get away from it but.... Yeah you know the story.
 
My family was really anti drug. So I became pretty into it in my rebel stage. But given my experimental personality and my immunity to propaganda it was inevitable I would try drugs sooner or later. I did have some psychological issue that went untreated so I self medicated. I don't think you can force your kid either way. I think the best thing to do is be honest and tell them the good and the bad and let them decide. You can't decide for them anyway so just be honest. I wouldn't let my kids do drugs until they turn 18 in which case they need to move out and can do what the hell they choose!
 
weekend addiction said:
I wouldn't let my kids do drugs until they turn 18 in which case they need to move out and can do what the hell they choose!
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In the end it makes me kind of laugh when we all say this because kids will do what they want even if they have permission or not. Man I was doing so many drugs underage and my mom told us all to never touch anything or else. Well I used and nothing ever happened. Maybe because I was sly about it, who knows? Or it was denial? Either way I got away with it.

All I can hope is my future kids don't have to go behind my back because they're too afraid to talk to me. I mean hey if they're doing drugs I rather them talk to me about it rather than pretend its not happening or for me to throw their ass on the street.... There were times and there are still times where I wish I could talk to my mother. I mean I can talk to her about anything but never my drug use and my drug use has been my biggest problem. It sucks having to keep it all to myself and when you want to confide in someone you're only shunned. I don't want that for my kids. Whether they're gay, a stripper, prostitute or drug addict I hope they can come to me and talk because I'll be there for them, no matter what.
 
xstayfadedx - Without blaming anyone but myself, I thought IV drugs were THE WORST.. Until I found my boyfriends needles. I hated him for about a month... and then I wanted to know what was so special about it, so I tried it. Why it possessed him to lie to me, why his arms looking soo shitty wasn't enough reason to stop, and why he couldn't just go back to swallowing or sniffing his meds. A full month later he was injecting me average 4 times a day every day.

I was not a drug user until this year, at 24. I dabbled in E when I was 16, but I smarted up fast. I saw the Bluelight Shrine last night and realized I should slam on the breaks. I told him I wanted to quit, and I shivered violently all morning. I also told him for drug related reasons we aren't going to work anymore. I have a lot of responsibility and he pisses all over it. Sooo he threw me down and injected me by force. It's going to be a process. I can't get police involved, either :\
 
He forcibly injected you with heroin after you told him you were through?

That's sick, and I'm sorry you're going through that. I know the power of the needle but I could never do that to someone..
 
HouseMouse said:
xstayfadedx - Without blaming anyone but myself, I thought IV drugs were THE WORST.. Until I found my boyfriends needles. I hated him for about a month... and then I wanted to know what was so special about it, so I tried it. Why it possessed him to lie to me, why his arms looking soo shitty wasn't enough reason to stop, and why he couldn't just go back to swallowing or sniffing his meds. A full month later he was injecting me average 4 times a day every day.

I was not a drug user until this year, at 24. I dabbled in E when I was 16, but I smarted up fast. I saw the Bluelight Shrine last night and realized I should slam on the breaks. I told him I wanted to quit, and I shivered violently all morning. I also told him for drug related reasons we aren't going to work anymore. I have a lot of responsibility and he pisses all over it. Sooo he threw me down and injected me by force. It's going to be a process. I can't get police involved, either :\
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I understand the wanting to know how it feels thing. That's what kind of happened with me. I always had a love/hate relationship with opiates but I said I would never do dope. Even after my boyfriend died almost a year ago from dope (the 18th will make it a year since he has been gone). So I did dope because I wanted to know what was so great about it? Why would he have done this drug and die because of it? I know dumb but that's mainly why I started dabbling with dope.

I'm sorry your boyfriend did that and you should get out. Its only going to get worse. PM if you need advice or what not. I know you do dope but you can still find a way to get clean and leave your boyfriend. Him doing that was so wrong and if he truly loved you he would of never done that. Again I'm sorry to hear that has happened to you.
 
Im really glad someone made this post. I have been DYING to get this SPECIFIC thought out in the open to see what others thought about it. First off, my parents don't know SHIT about drugs. They found some used foil with burnt H trails on it and said they smelled a sweat smell in the garage. So they asked if I was snorting cocaine lol...No idea how that makes any sense whatsoever! So anyways now on to my main topic....Now obviously since I don't (yet) have a child that is an addict I can't say for sure..but if I found some oxy in his room I would grab it (NOT get rid of it) talk to him about it just to get some more info, explain im not mad at anyway shape or form. Figure out how much he uses daily and how long he has been using to see how bad his WD will be. Now lets just say he says "Dad, I use around 1 green 80 a day" then I could say okay..come to me first thing every morning ill give you a piece of your oxy to fend off the WD so you can function.

OK...now my parents firstly never discussed anything and I mean ANYthing. They would find a shit ton of H and like 20 needles. Then they would simply throw them away and forget about it. Basically like it never happened. And THIS is where what they did bothers me...OK lets think for a minute...did taking my dope and needles help me to get clean...? Actually no, it honestly made things 1000000x WORSE...you flush my dope I have to go do dirt so I don't get sick...you throw out all my needles OK fine now I'm forced to use my friends, oops just got Hep C...thanks!

And like I said I don't have a drug addicted kid so I can't say how I would handle things until I'm actually handling it in real life. But I just feel like throwing it out and not talking is the absolute worst things they could do...they should have talked to me RIGHT away..then helped me with a taper plan. Or tried to help me get on suboxone. But when they get rid of it all and dont say a word? OK..go do dirt..get high..then bring more dope back in the house..why? cause they never say anything..they obviously arent gonna do shit about it.

Hopefully some of that made sense..I'm just trying to understand how they thought those were good ideas..although I totally understand that finding drugs in your kids room and being like oh, he needs this heroin so he doesnt get sick! ill put it right back! That sounds ridiculous when you say it outloud..but in reality..i want to protect my kids. I don't want them going on and robbing someone and getting 10yrs in prison. I don't want them to be forced to use a dirty needle...I mean..its like we are addicts. we are going to use until we are ready to stop.

My parents know all about my opiate addiction. They have been with me every step of the way. They are INSANELY against it, im 22 and they are super religious so no drinking alcohol, no smoking cigs, no hurting your "temple" aka your body as the Bible says lol...So it breaks their hearts on the daily but they still deal with me somehow.
 
Epiks,
I can relate a lot to your post. When my parents first found out about my heroin use, I fortunately wasn't Dependant at the time. They helped me get into an outpatient program that sucked, and then for a month, they seemed to think that the issue was over. However, I relapsed (if you can call that month sobriety), and the IOP'S I attended put me on suboxone, which was rediculous.

Anyway, to fast forward, once I started injecting drugs, my family, when they caught me would always just take my dope or my coke, and flush it down the toilet. They even flushed down some suboxone that I had been prescribed at the old IOP' (which I stopped attending). Eventually though, when they realized that I was stealing, and selling everything I could to stay straight, they helped me out, and got me an appointment to get back on suboxone. I also have a problem with Xanax, and in the past my mom would actually give me hers so I wouldn't get sick, until I could get into detox.

In many, many ways, my parents are very supportive and understanding of my problems with opiates and cocaine, and I feel blessed because so many others have been kicked out of their homes for some of the shit that I pulled. I guess there might be a sense of guilt they both share due to issues both of them have, which is perhaps why they seem to put up with me.
 
A stupid question.

Hello, all.

So I have a 12-year-old brother. I think he's getting to that age where he's going to need a little more guidance to keep him on the "straight and narrow." I was wondering how to broach the subject of drugs with him? Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think it's wrong for adults to use drugs. Key word: adults. I think that as long as he's a minor, he should abstain from drugs, seeing as his brain is still developing, etc. Before I continue, let me confess that I've never had a drop of alcohol, and never even seen drugs. It's simply a matter of personal choice, not that I think drug use is wrong. In fact, I believe all drugs should be legalized and the drinking age lowered to 18. I think adults should be able to do with their body as they wish, but I digress.

I think drug-free programs offered by the school system do more harm than good, and rely on disinformation. I believe drugs can be used in moderation without necessarily leading to dependence. This is simply a gut feeling, since I have absolutely no experience with this segment of society, so please correct any misconceptions I may have.

Now to my question, how do I talk to my little brother about staying away from drugs? If he chooses to do drugs as an adult, it's his choice, but I'd rather he abstain at this point in his development. I want to speak to him honestly about a subject I admittedly know NOTHING about. I don't want to lie to him, but I don't want to indirectly encourage him to try drugs. Or should I keep my opinions to myself and go with the scare tactics?

Thanks for any help! :)
 
Maybe you could let him know that you've tried drugs (you don't need to be totally open about your use, you can say that you've toked a couple of times and that's more than enough, i guess) and beware him of the dangers. Be very clear about drugs being a BAD choice but don't be super harsh on him so you can also tell him that if he ever wants to try something he can come to you. This may sound as offering drugs but you could say something like "I know people who does them, so it would be better if I do the copping rather than you buying drugs for yourself".. don't be so explicit though-.
 
Damn 240 posts on BL having neither SEEN drugs, nor drank a drop of alcohol?

God damn...what has made you stick around this site this long?

Also max, hes talking about NOT lying to his brother....youre encouraging him to do just that. When the kid realizes that its a bullshit lie he'll assume everything ELSE you've said is a bullshit lie...hence the problem with a lotta drug education classes. They all say shit like "marijuana will make you KILL YOURSELF" or some craziness, kids try it, realize these people lied to them, and assume they lied about heroin/crack/etc.

Dont lie to him. IDK what you should do, youre not exactly in a position to be passing judgements on drugs one way or the other, having never tried them yourself. Nor are you in a strong position to be giving lectures to him. Lecturing him on something you know nothing about/have never tried is not a good idea...

Its one thought to think all drugs should be legal. I used to feel the same (everyone do w/e they want, its their own bodies!). Now i'm currently battling an opiate addiction and I think all these things should be destroyed (outside of a hospital setting), never mind legal...

Maybe take him to an NA meeting...def will work if he sees a buncha homeless crack heads talking about how their entire life revolves around the next hit. That woulda scared me fo'sho.
 
max_ said:
Maybe you could let him know that you've tried drugs (you don't need to be totally open about your use, you can say that you've toked a couple of times and that's more than enough, i guess) and beware him of the dangers. Be very clear about drugs being a BAD choice but don't be super harsh on him so you can also tell him that if he ever wants to try something he can come to you. This may sound as offering drugs but you could say something like "I know people who does them, so it would be better if I do the copping rather than you buying drugs for yourself".. don't be so explicit though-.
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OP has never drank alcohol nor even "seen drugs"... so that complicates things a bit.


What were your experiences in refusing drugs/alcohol if they were offered? What helped you stay away from drugs, Tude? Tell your little brother about your own experiences with drugs and alcohol. Just because you don't personally know the effects of a drug on your body, your advice on how you've stayed away from drugs/alcohol isn't invalid. Especially with your liberal attitude towards drugs, which is quite surprising. I'm not sure myself. I don't know how I'd talk to my 12 year old brother about drugs... my brother is 23 and can't even finish a "Mike's Hard Lemonade" and for that I'm grateful because when *I* was 14, I was drinking fifths of vodka... bad times, man.

I commend you in being this interested in your brother's life and how he turns out. Siblings have to look out for each other as much as possible. You're a good brother/sister, Tude, for even taking this into account.

And might I add, this is most certainly the OPPOSITE of a stupid question!!
 
Max, thanks. I'll try not to be super harsh. DoomMood, I hadn't even thought of NA meetings. Thanks, it's something to consider for sure. By the way, I stick around this site because of SLR. Rabbidrabbit, I was offered weed once when I was twelve, but I've simply never been interested in drugs. I flat out said no and that was that (I'm pretty stubborn lol.) I'm constantly offered alcohol, whether by restaurant servers or friends, but I always say no. You're right, my experiences staying drug-free are something I should tell him about. Thanks for thinking I'm a good sister, and I'm glad you don't think this is a stupid question!
 
You have seen drugs, I can assure you of that. You see alcohol I am sure, as you indicate it is always being offered to you. And you mean to tell me you have never seen maybe a bottle of Vicodin or Percocet for a tooth extraction, broken leg, or bad headache, maybe? You have never seen a bottle of Xanax, perhaps, prescribed to a someone suffering anxiety or panic? You have never seen a bottle of cough syrup with DXM in it? Really? Well, that is a sheltered life. I do not mean to be so sardonic here, but what I am trying to get across that drugs are EVERYWHERE, in many, many forms, obtained in many, many ways. And all of what I have just referenced are potential drugs of abuse. The list goes on and on. I would bet you have taken drugs of abuse more than once, too. You may not have abused them, you may have taken them just as prescribed or less, I don't know, but they exist and are very common.

I can see you care for your brother a good deal, and there is nothing better than caring for and loving your family. That is great. But, before you start talking to him about drugs, you might want to consider talking to yourself about them, first, if that makes sense. Okay, you don't use drugs recreationally, that is swell, but if you do want to help him I would seriously inform yourself on drugs, what they do, what types there are, how toxic they are, how they are supplied etc. You recognize education is important, and that is very true. I don't agree with the under 18 thing, though. I must say, the brain grows and develops through one's entire life. It can be fucked up properly at any age, if one does what it takes. Some people have good judgement, others do not, but in the end it is all a personal decision, and you cannot stop someone from what they want to do. I have never been fond of the phrase "straight and narrow". Let people be who they wish. If you want to talk to your brother about drugs, just present the facts, and please make sure they are correct. I don't mean to be a dick, I just want to be as frank as possible with you on my feelings in this matter.

- Alex
 
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