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Alcoholism discussion thread v. 5.0

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Thankyou N3o for your considered and intelligent replies, its this kind of support that keeps me coming back here, even if i am still drinkings the peer support of this forum is of great assitance, thanks to all involved

Well today was ,my first proper day of school (yesterday being orientation) one of the units i covered was assisting people with drug and alcohol abuse, i certainly had a lot to contribute anyone with half a a brain would have known i was speaking not only from direct experience but current experience. Its a positive class environment though and i think i will benefit from it

I managed to drink a 6 pack just on the commute home, got a fine for drinking on the train, the inspector asked my reason, i said because i am an alcoholic, not sure if that was the right moment to admit my problem especially as its gonna cost me around $200

i need to stop associating drink with reward, i had a productive day so thought getting drunk was my reward, i know i will regret it in the morning

am i really serious about quitiing drinking? my actions would suggest i am not but i have moments of clarity where i can see what my my healthy path in life is, i just dont have the discipline or perhaps desire to pursue it, as they say actions speak louder than words

in the meantime i will keep bugging you guys
 
why delude myself and think i can open a bottle of wine and just have a couple of glasses

i love you red wine right now, tomorrow i will loathe you, until about 5pm

the cycle is exactly what it is, a cycle
 
I'm new here. I was just reading some of the stuff and I gotta say I can relate quite a bit. Thanks for leaving this part of the forums open.
 
Been distracting myself from booze by eating a lot more, which is a welcome change because beforehand I was drinking so much that I had no room for food at all. Yesterday I only had about 5 beers throughout the whole day. Today I've already had 4 or 5 since I woke up (I've been awake for around 11 hours), so I'm trying to take a break. Had a good breakfast this morning with a B vitamin complex pill to start of the day. Wasn't hungover when I woke up, which was great. Now I'm having a vegetable sandwich with some Gatorade. Usually by now, with the way I was drinking before, I'd already have passed out and would be currently sleeping away the afternoon.

The whites of my eyes still have that yellow shade, which is what has finally prompted me to absolutely taper off. Some thoughts came up today that really, really tempted me to just get drunk, so I ended up taking a walk to the sandwich shop. I've cut off the vodka for good. I have plenty of it sitting next to me and just the sight of it makes me sick. I'm still working up the courage to dump it down the sink, though. Security blanket, I guess.

It's really all about distractions at this point. Whether it be talking to a friend, dicking around on YouTube, eating a lot, listening to music, etc. I'd like to say that I won't have another beer tonight, so that I can make it another five beer day victory, but it doesn't look likely. There are still plenty of waking hours left. I'm just going to see how long I can go without it.
 
blahman I cannot express in words how happy I am to hear that you're doing so well man, reading your post above almost brings tears of joy to my eyes <3 That is so amazing that you're actively cutting down your alcohol intake, you're distracting yourself by going for a walk when you feel like drinking more, you're eating healthy stuff and taking vitamins. I am so so happy for you mate. Please keep it up, remember how good this feels <3


BeatNarrative said:
i need to stop associating drink with reward, i had a productive day so thought getting drunk was my reward, i know i will regret it in the morning

am i really serious about quitiing drinking? my actions would suggest i am not but i have moments of clarity where i can see what my my healthy path in life is, i just dont have the discipline or perhaps desire to pursue it, as they say actions speak louder than words
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Again, I can really relate to this BM. I have been using drinking as a reward for YEARS. If anything good happens to me, celebrating any achievements, if I have a few sober days, I'll reward myself the only way that I know how to: with alcohol. But there are SO many other ways we can reward ourselves, and even though initially they might not have the same effect as alcohol does for us right now (because we're alcoholics), over time other things will become just as rewarding, if not more so. Can you think of anything you could use to reward yourself? Even the littlest thing, like having an icecream, or buying your favourite take-away meal for dinner, having a nice hot bubble bath, or buying yourself a new t-shirt you've had your eye on for a while, etc etc.


I am so frustrated with my current situation. My therapist suggested to me last night that I try naltrexone again, to try and help cut down my alcohol intake so that I can really start working through some of my issues without having alcohol to lean on. I'm so anxious about going back on naltrexone, because I think that this time it really will mean that I stop drinking. I'm so scared of life without alcohol. But.......WHAT THE FUCK AM I SO AFRAID OF?!?!? I don't even know what I'm running from! :(
 
Not anymore man. But I'm aiming to run a marathon this year and my training technically started this week, but I haven't done any training yet....going to the gym tonight though.
 
n3ophy7e said:
blahman I cannot express in words how happy I am to hear that you're doing so well man, reading your post above almost brings tears of joy to my eyes <3 That is so amazing that you're actively cutting down your alcohol intake, you're distracting yourself by going for a walk when you feel like drinking more, you're eating healthy stuff and taking vitamins. I am so so happy for you mate. Please keep it up, remember how good this feels <3
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Thank you very much for the support, n3o. I'm definitely feeling a lot better lately. There's certainly a ways to go, though. I know my liver still needs to recover, and hopefully full recovery is possible at this point. There are still some problems that need to be addressed, so I'm going to schedule a doctor appointment today.

The last drink I had yesterday was around 3:30 PM, and I went to bed around 11:30. No withdrawal symptoms or even cravings. Slept just fine. No nightmares that I can recall. Woke up early and I'm about to eat something. No desire for my typical morning beer, although there's still this nagging "Why not?" feeling about it. But I know if I have one now, it'll only turn into another and another.

It's funny that you guys mentioned getting drunk as a "reward." This is how irrational my alcoholic mind is: I almost tricked myself into drinking in order to celebrate how well my taper is going.
 
blahman8000 said:
I almost tricked myself into drinking in order to celebrate how well my taper is going.
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Yikes (although, come on, that's sort of funny). That's a big step... to be able to see this stuff ahead of time. Writing stuff down here is probably more productive than an AA/NA journal. You can get better input this way, and it files itself! :\
 
Not had a drink since i last posted..... Not really feeling too great just tryin to keep level with my xanax, another restless night but some sleep am trying to keep busy but my heads spinnin outta controll. But fuck it, Im not gonna let someone else tell me that i cant do something esp stop drinking, still wary of detox. Got help around here between my g/f and my mother has come up for a few days also.
Gaaah goddamn but, i didnt think a month or so of drinkies every day would fuck with me so bad.... Brains kinda jellfied but im pumped as like im speeding off tits, just gonna have 2 try and keep busy i suppose, cleaning shower nxt:|
 
I don't imagine xanax being that useful to while you've been drinking. Don't stop taking it though, just saying. Xanax (and benzos in general) are like freeze-dried alcohol. Staying busy is always best. Also, you ALL should start supplimenting with vitamine D-3. It will give you everything the sun does, without getting radiation or burns. Any D vitamin (usually D-2) won't do, it needs to be D-3. I started using it yesterday and I already feel a lot better in general. It is an essential vitamin for proper body and mind function. I recommend melatonin for sleep, instead of sleeping pills. It takes a few weeks (minimum) to start becomming useful, but when it does, you sleep on track and for a full night. Exercise helps immensly with the restlessness. A proper well balanced diet is essential. This always comes acrossed as cliche and old hat news from doctors, etc, but they always say it because it's not only true, it's vital to wellness.
 
RedLeader . . .

Thanks for that idea. In fact I have thought very much about Jiu Jitsu. It is something I plan to do in the future but am choosing not to commit to right now.

Since my post about Jameson and thinking about some things mentioned here I've committed myself to not drinking hard liquor. This week will be the 3rd Sunday I haven't gone to that bar ($2 Jameson and all the "company").

I'm down to wine and beer. They have their limitations and do not destroy intelligence in the likes of liquor.
 
DexterMeth said:
I recommend melatonin for sleep, instead of sleeping pills. It takes a few weeks (minimum) to start becomming useful, but when it does, you sleep on track and for a full night.
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Great suggestions DM, thank you. I have been taking melatonin to help me sleep for MONTHS, maybe even almost a whole year. It works fantastically.

SMFG, look out for this product at the chemist, it's the only brand that makes melatonin that I've found in Aus:
bioglan-melatonin-90s-tabs.jpg



blahman I would strongly recommend that you see a doctor as soon as you can to discuss where you should go from here. Also, have you tried AA or therapy/counselling before?? Do you think it's something that could help you?
 
Cool man. It doesn't affect my dreams much, I've always had really vivid/intense dreams to begin with :D
Melatonin can make it difficult for me to get up for work in the morning sometimes (because I'm sleeping so well), but not all the time.
 
Today i have had no school or work, i have been awake for nearly 12 hours and only had three beers, whilst this is not abstinence i am proud of my the small amount i have drank

I will probably embark on my nightly bottle of wine and valium fix shortly, but i may not

Today i have felt happy, for no reason, and thats when hapiness is the best

Whilst i have drank heavily for the last 12 years or so its only recently i have been brave enough to admit my problem with it (not my behaviour while drunk, just my reliance)

This admitting of the problem but continuance to drink has really deressed and angered me, i am going to sit down and evaluate the important aspects of my life and try and map out a plan as to how i can acheive more consistent happiness similar to how i have been today

I am still drinking too much, but i am aware of it as a problem now, its now up to me how i approach that problem, it scares and also gives me a feeling of control at the same time, only i will be able to change how i behave, i just need to show the courage and swallow some pride and maybe seek some help

i probably repeat myself a lot on here, my apologies if i am being tedious
 
Tomorrow will be day 3 .... an im goin abit haywire... Its a little bit better tonight although i realised i havnt had one emotional breakdown since i put tha drinks down, so i really wanna stick with this coz this mixin with meds shit, its just not on anymore i mearly losin ma head here, just glad i came to the decision. Massive nicotene habbit forming due to the E cigs, but its better than smokin real ones, wish me luck for some sleep tonite:|
 
Good work S.M.F.G , 3 days is a massive acheivement, something that seems unfathomable to me at the moment, i hope you don't have to much of a restless night, whilst it might be hard getting to sleep, waking up after an alcohol free day will make it all seem worthwhile

Its amazing how fresh you feel after a sober day, really shows how much even one or two drinks effects your body (this feeling is a rather foreign concept to me at the moment but from memory i know it was one thing i liked about sobriety)

Good luck!
 
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