queenbee1127
Bluelighter
Ay yi yi. Mods, please move if you feel necessary; I couldn't decide if this belonged more in SLR or Other Drugs.
Bear with me. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We live together, and for the most part, we have a pretty stable relationship. Before we were together, he was addicted to both heroin and Xanax, and went to a very intense inpatient rehab for 17 months. He has been clean (barring isolated relapse) for just over 3 1/2 years. In January of 2010, he left rehab to go back to normal life, and had a relapse in August of 2010, using OxyContin with some friends (some friends right?). It was an isolated incident, and to my knowledge, it has not happened again.
He has extreme back pain, related to his job, and occasionally takes Tramadol to help with the pain, which he gets from his mom (I know). At first, he wasn't telling me because he knew I would be upset, but once I called him out on his doped up behavior, we discussed it and he agreed to let me know whenever he had taken anything. In addition the back pain, he has trouble sleeping and has seen his doctor several times to find something to help.
Fast forward to this weekend; we are at a friend's house watching the playoff game and I notice him nodding out on the couch next to me. I ask him why his pupils are so small in dim lighting, and ask if he has taken a Tramadol for his back. He says no, he has not taken anything. We come home and later that night, he is nodding out again as we watch TV on the couch. I know he is lying, I can tell by his behavior, and instead of flipping out and causing a scene in front of our friends, I go to bed.
I know what my instinct is telling me, and I know something is wrong. After not talking for three days, I finally confront him today (Tuesday). I say I want to know what is going on, and why he was so fucked up on Saturday. He confesses to me that back in October, his doctor prescribed him .25mg of Xanax to help him sleep, enough for 2 a day, with 4 refills. He told me that initially, he was taking them strictly to sleep but as time went on he began to abuse them. When one of his refills ran out this weekend, he purchased four 1mg pills from a friend, and that's what he had taken on Saturday when I asked him about the Tramadol. He says that he talked with his doctor today about another way to help his sleeping, without taking a drug he is abusing.
Part of me is mad, part of me is sad, and part of me is like "fuck this bullshit". I'm mad that he blatantly went behind my back, abusing a drug that he was so horribly addicted to and caused so many consequences in his life. I'm mad that when I confronted him, he lied about it, treating me like an idiot. I'm sad that he's going through this, again, and I can't help or sympathize with him. Part of me wants to leave him and just move on, I'm done with dealing with this shit.
Help me BL. I've never had an addiction problem, so it is hard for me to empathize with his issues. At the same time, I've never had an addiction problem, so I'm not as versed in lying and manipulation as he is, and he could just be telling me what I want to hear. I'm still blindsided by the fact that he was using/abusing a substance behind my back for so long, and went out of his way to purchase more when his prescription ran out.
What would you do if you were me? If this or something similar has happened to you, what did you do? I love this person, but I'm done being treated like an idiot and putting myself in a potentially reoccurring situation.
Bear with me. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We live together, and for the most part, we have a pretty stable relationship. Before we were together, he was addicted to both heroin and Xanax, and went to a very intense inpatient rehab for 17 months. He has been clean (barring isolated relapse) for just over 3 1/2 years. In January of 2010, he left rehab to go back to normal life, and had a relapse in August of 2010, using OxyContin with some friends (some friends right?). It was an isolated incident, and to my knowledge, it has not happened again.
He has extreme back pain, related to his job, and occasionally takes Tramadol to help with the pain, which he gets from his mom (I know). At first, he wasn't telling me because he knew I would be upset, but once I called him out on his doped up behavior, we discussed it and he agreed to let me know whenever he had taken anything. In addition the back pain, he has trouble sleeping and has seen his doctor several times to find something to help.
Fast forward to this weekend; we are at a friend's house watching the playoff game and I notice him nodding out on the couch next to me. I ask him why his pupils are so small in dim lighting, and ask if he has taken a Tramadol for his back. He says no, he has not taken anything. We come home and later that night, he is nodding out again as we watch TV on the couch. I know he is lying, I can tell by his behavior, and instead of flipping out and causing a scene in front of our friends, I go to bed.
I know what my instinct is telling me, and I know something is wrong. After not talking for three days, I finally confront him today (Tuesday). I say I want to know what is going on, and why he was so fucked up on Saturday. He confesses to me that back in October, his doctor prescribed him .25mg of Xanax to help him sleep, enough for 2 a day, with 4 refills. He told me that initially, he was taking them strictly to sleep but as time went on he began to abuse them. When one of his refills ran out this weekend, he purchased four 1mg pills from a friend, and that's what he had taken on Saturday when I asked him about the Tramadol. He says that he talked with his doctor today about another way to help his sleeping, without taking a drug he is abusing.
Part of me is mad, part of me is sad, and part of me is like "fuck this bullshit". I'm mad that he blatantly went behind my back, abusing a drug that he was so horribly addicted to and caused so many consequences in his life. I'm mad that when I confronted him, he lied about it, treating me like an idiot. I'm sad that he's going through this, again, and I can't help or sympathize with him. Part of me wants to leave him and just move on, I'm done with dealing with this shit.
Help me BL. I've never had an addiction problem, so it is hard for me to empathize with his issues. At the same time, I've never had an addiction problem, so I'm not as versed in lying and manipulation as he is, and he could just be telling me what I want to hear. I'm still blindsided by the fact that he was using/abusing a substance behind my back for so long, and went out of his way to purchase more when his prescription ran out.
What would you do if you were me? If this or something similar has happened to you, what did you do? I love this person, but I'm done being treated like an idiot and putting myself in a potentially reoccurring situation.