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The Big & Dandy Methoxetamine Thread - 6th Dose (now you've gone and used it all up)

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MXE (aka minx) + C.O.D games ie Modern warfare 3 = rage. in an awesome way. but you get serious rage. but i guess thats part of the buzz.

^ as regards loosing it. we might be loosing it a bit. but having actually "lost it" properly many years ago, and ended up being sectioned for a couple of weeks due to my cocaine use and chaos it brought me....were far from properly loosing it. ..there is losing it and there is "losing it" ...but be careful

i guess the real debate going on here is to what degree does this actually fuck you up compared to ket in the long run, and to what degree does it cause dependance, which it does, but its not say...as bad a crack..BUT....there is a mid way with this stuff.

and with regards to people getting in trouble with this (and its not popular to voice this as a negative due to our paranoia of attention and a ban) but when people have got in trouble with this medically...it seems to me a few people have ended up in hospital apparently (me included) but most of this is just "being in a mess" with high blood pressure. no treatment needed once calmed down and watched for own safety. agreed? discuss? <3 no one to date has actually had a stroke, or a really bad reaction etc....its just been a matter of some idiots (me included) going too far, being put in a&e...monitord, worrying stats. but "come around" after a few hours and stagger out feeling like the twats we are. ...as far as i know. is this the case? no one (other then the internet rumoured swedish girl who allegedly mixed it IV with something else) has ended up in real trouble? just a few spin outs and high BPMS / pressure

and you compare this to the 1000s of idiots who end up in hospital every weekend due to alcohol ......
 
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Anyone felt like their heart was going to explode? I had this at maybe 40mg the other night, and it sent me into a bit of a panic attack. I was with a group of people that were all fucked, so i just had to go into a different room and conquer the extreme discomfort and mind-fuckyness by myself. Did 5 heart rate measurements, none went over like 120bpm, but it felt like it was going so much faster and my chest and elbow veins really quite hurt. After a couple of hours of fighting it I somehow managed to get over it, but it really was quite a difficult experience. Heart pain on drugs is 1 thing that can really fuck with you, so this put me off quite badly. The next day I asked a friend who uses it a lot more than me and he said he's had that sort of feeling before and that all you have to do is embrace it, but I'm not sure... The fact it felt like it was beating at 1million mph and the fact it was quite painful doesn't seem right to me..

Edit: Sorry if this has been answered before, don't have time to read through the thread yet
 
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Has anyone noticed their eyes on mxe. They don't dialate but they kinda bulge out if you know what I mean. Also tobacco has a much stronger buzz. I don't smoke that much though.
 
Holed for the 3rd time on this substance plugging 50mg at the tail end of a light 2c-b trip. This was by far the most profound hole experience I've had on MXE as well as the most positive.

As some necessary background, I have somewhat severe tourette syndrome - I have about 100 tics that manifest every few seconds constantly, which cycle between muscle clusters - I'll have them in my finger/hand muscles, then in my leg muscles, then in my abdomen, etc. So, for me to sit still longer than about 15 seconds without concentrating very hard is almost impossible.

During my hole, I was laying on my bed and I began to relax my body. I focused my vision at the pillow directly in front of my eyes (about 4 inches away) lay my limbs out from the center of my body in a jumping jack position and loosened my muscles. I let my eyes slide out of focus so that I couldn't see the pillow but only the patterns in my visual field caused by the MXE. I laid so perfectly still that the only part of my body moving, including my eyes, was my chest during my breathing. I moved nothing else - and I kept it this way for over an hour - not a single muscle moved during the entire time. It was inexorable bliss and I as I exercised complete control over every fiber of my being - it was like being in a supreme state of control and power over my will and physicality.

Then, the most intense and incredible phenomenon started to occur. The patterns in my visual field began to slowly expand, as if they were coming closer to my retina. I could see that these patterns were made up of small particles of varying colors. As the patterns grew nearer and larger, I could see the particles of which the were composed break down into further subparticles of more colors. As these grew nearer, this continued in a long regress, until eventually the colors began to slowly meld as my entire visual field was enveloped by fewer and fewer particles as they grew continually larger. Finally, I was totally enveloped by a complete blackness - I was completely dissociated from my surroundings. It resembled ego diminishment in some ways, but I was totally conscious of myself. Instead, it was like I was a floating free point of consciousness in a total void. I was alone in nothingness, with nothing but my consciousness and thought. Time appeared to be gone along with space - that is, if time were a container (which I do not believe it is?) the container appeared to be infinite between the moment I entered this void and the moment I left it - but I could still sense time go by as my thoughts proceeded each other. I had what appeared to be infinite time to simply exist, think my way through many issues, in the total confinement of myself and nothing else, with total lucidity. It was beautiful, complete nirvana, and awe inspiring. Eventually, my visual field began to fade to normal and I left this void, and shortly after took some etizolam and fell asleep, and woke up feeling refreshed and ready to live life.

Rectal administration has truly allowed me to experience all the buzz about this drug I heard but never understood while using insufflation ROA. I'm grateful. :)
 
lynx2051 said:
Mine was a minty taste, it looked kinda sticky and fluffy in the bag.
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Yeah I guess mine tastes a bit minty and salty. It seems to be a topical anesthetic cause my mouth usually feels a bit numb after, but my last batch seems to be less numbing than the previous, more fluffy batch.

IamMe90 said:
Rectal administration has truly allowed me to experience all the buzz about this drug I heard but never understood while using insufflation ROA. I'm grateful. :)
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I'm gonna have to try it rectally; I have tried it pretty much every way except rectal, IM and IV and definitely prefer sublingual, and I'm sure I'll continue to prefer that because it's the most convenient but I'd love to compare the effects. Might try IM sometime too.
 
IamMe90 said:
I was completely dissociated from my surroundings. It resembled ego diminishment in some ways, but I was totally conscious of myself. Instead, it was like I was a floating free point of consciousness in a total void. I was alone in nothingness, with nothing but my consciousness and thought. Time appeared to be gone along with space - that is, if time were a container (which I do not believe it is?) the container appeared to be infinite between the moment I entered this void and the moment I left it - but I could still sense time go by as my thoughts proceeded each other. I had what appeared to be infinite time to simply exist, think my way through many issues, in the total confinement of myself and nothing else, with total lucidity. It was beautiful, complete nirvana, and awe inspiring.
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Beautiful. Very wonderfully written! You are in some very interesting company with such an experience. Let me introduce you to one Samuel Clemens, otherwise known as Mark Twain. I the early part of this century somehow, amazingly, this old gentleman came up with the following conclusion to his final book, "The Mysterious Stranger"... a chap has appeared to another young man working in a print shop in a village in Austria in the middle ages... by the end he has revealed he has magic powers, and the village has started preparing to burn various members at the stake for witchcraft when he suddenly reveals the following:


"Life itself is only a vision, a dream."

It was electrical. By God! I had had that very thought a thousand times in my musings!

"Nothing exists; all is a dream. God - man - the world - the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars - a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space - and you!"

"I!"

"And you are not you - you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream - your dream, creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me . . .

"I am perishing already - I am failing - I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever - for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!

"Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago - centuries, ages, eons, ago! - for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities.

Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him! . . .

"You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.

"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream - a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought - a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!"

He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.​
 
RE:^ by the way, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mysterious_Stranger

According to the IMDb, a film version of #44, The Mysterious Stranger, was shot by The Great Amwell Company and shown in the United States on PBS, later running on Home Box Office. The role of 44 was played by Lance Kerwin, with August played by Chris Makepeace.

[I saw this and with my jaw on the floor was my first exposure to this very MXE-like story... very beautifully done! - DH]

Another movie adaptation of this book was shot in the Soviet Union by Igor Maslennikov and released under the name Filip Traum. It was shown in the cinemas only once in 1991, and up until 2007, when a remastered DVD-version was released, the general public mostly did not know anything about this film.

A scene about this story also appears in the 1986 claymation film The Adventures of Mark Twain, where Satan gets Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn and Becky Thatcher to construct small clay people to bring to life and live in a small kingdom together before Satan destroys them through fighting, plagues and natural disasters, depicting the futility of mankind. The scene also quotes Satan's last line from the book. In this version, Satan appears playful and friendly when he constructs the small kingdom, slowly revealing himself as cruel and hateful as he destroys it. He appears as a robed noble, with a mask where his head would be. As his true nature is revealed, the mask changes from appearing kind to demonic, and finally to a grinning skull.

For the latter (which is not The Mysterious Stranger" per se, but contains some of the above dialogue and includes Twain himself as a character... VERY trippy and cool!!! Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifeyKhxgHbA
 
DwayneHoover said:
For the latter (which is not The Mysterious Stranger" per se, but contains some of the above dialogue and includes Twain himself as a character... VERY trippy and cool!!! Watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifeyKhxgHbA
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Rented that film after seeing that clip on Bluelight maybe two years ago. I watched it on 3-MeO-PCP and had this spiritual experience involving gushing, increasingly compounding respect for Mark Twain and my dearly departed grandfather -- each sweet wise and eminently lovable old men in very different ways. I tried watching it with a friend on MXE and he made me shut it off after about ten minutes because it was a "kid's movie." It is a kid's movie, but a very challenging one. I had to insist he misjudged its merits prematurely, and he refused to watch that clip online to let me prove it, insisting we just had different tastes (that was dissatisfying).
 
Once again Dwayne, I disagree. I know "I" exist and so do the stars and moon (in concepts of objects if you like, but still, the subtlest substance of it all exists). In fact existance is the only thing we are absolutely sure of about all of this. It's just the nature of that existence which is caled in to question. And I also know that existence is inherently perfect, pure, and loving. I once went down that path of "it's only me, nothing is real and it's all a dream of nothing looking in a mirror". It got me nowhere but narcissistic navel gazing. I also went through the whole thing you described at the end there about satan controlling reality, and that it's a big joke, and again it got me knowhere but suicidal self-hatred, through which I ended up in a mental hospital.

I'm not saying this to bring a negative slant to what you said Dwayne. It's just I would like to respond with a sane counter-point, which is that there's no need to go insane believing that it is all a worthless dream, because it isn't. Life is not the pointless product of the dream of nothing (how could that even happen anyway - it's absurd), or any of the other negatively deranged concepts relying on archetypes from religions. Life, and everything about it, comes from a place of infinite love, and is obviously an eternal celebration of pure infinite existence and creation.
 
I wasn't necessarily saying I believe that is the true explanation for everything, just that Twain was writing about an experience very poetically similar to IamMe90's one where everything else dissolved away and it was really just one consciousness floating alone in totally empty space for eternity.

And taking it more literally, I didn't and Twain didn't mean I believe to imply that the "you" who exists all alone is an egoistic human "I" or some demonic Satan (the claymation is really *NOT* Twain's idea in that book, but a creation of ONLY the film maker whoever it was, so don't assume that's what Twain meant cause that is absolutely NOT even close to Mysterious Stranger, just peripherally inspired by it with a VERY different point in the end). READ THE EXCERPT!

Twain was a world traveler and was no doubt exposed to Hindu ideas in which "God" was a single solitary consciousness existing in The Void for all eternity, but then out of boredom or loneliness or desire for love (like the "dreamer" posited in Mysterious Stranger) decides to dream up a universe.

This same idea is present in Gnostic Christianity EinSoph (or something like that), the Goddess Sophia, is a single solitary divine eternal consciousness that had existed forever, then in a process laid out in discussions on the Kabalistic Tree of Life, bifurcates itself repeatedly until we get this universe, but really, it all exists as a construct within the mind of the Goddess/God. But the PURPOSE for the process is seen as one suffused with infinite divine LOVE.

Twain's slant on this was I agree somewhat cynical, but his conceptual sources I believe didn't pose it that way... the original solitary awareness was seen as Divine and full of love for itself and the beings in the universe it creates, but it is all ultimately part of It's Dream... which can be taken as a wonderous miracle to have happened... or a case of sad self-delusion as Twain saw THIS attempt. Note however the line, pregnant with hope that Twain gives us, hinting that perhaps he was not quite as negative about the possibility as his habitual cynicism led him to write in the rest of it... these glorious words, kind of buried in the middle of his last page, glittering with possibility: "But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!"
 
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My main love about MXE is when I layer my doses (ie, 30mg then 90 mins later another 30mg then 90 mins later another 30mg etc - which is imo, the best way to dose) and watch television, it feels as if I am in the programme or film I'm watching. I also get extremely emotional. For example, when a character becomes elated, I become elated. And when a character becomes upset, I literally burst out in tears. It's probably my favourite effect with MXE, I find it extremely euphoric. I watched Wall-E the other night and it was probably one of the best 98 minutes of my life. There was hysterical laughter, floods of tears, complete awe and real fear! Unbelievable substance with unique experiences everytime!

Anyone else experience anything similar with this compound? My friends have experienced similar things when we dose together. For example, I watched Wall-E with 3 friends and we were all dosing together and we all agreed on feeling in and apart of the film. Incredible!
 
^^ I agree with all the above about the emotion stuff. It seems to make me not empathetic but sympathetic. For example I tend to over examine exactly what people are thinking, a little bit like a psychic :)

In a way I sort of wish I didn't buy it again cos I find it quite habit forming, only due to it having absolutely no comedown whatsoever. MXE is probably the most peaceful drug on earth and quite easy to function on, accept in higher doses my speech becomes rather slurred and it makes you walk like a robot, giving a feeling of dyslexia. I love MXE because it doesn't mash you up in a dirty way, it feels so clean and natural, like the way humans should be.

It's my favorite drug in the world, I'll be sad when it's gone. :(
 
Xamkou said:
My main love about MXE is when I layer my doses (ie, 30mg then 90 mins later another 30mg then 90 mins later another 30mg etc - which is imo, the best way to dose) and watch television, it feels as if I am in the programme or film I'm watching. I also get extremely emotional. For example, when a character becomes elated, I become elated. And when a character becomes upset, I literally burst out in tears. It's probably my favourite effect with MXE, I find it extremely euphoric. I watched Wall-E the other night and it was probably one of the best 98 minutes of my life. There was hysterical laughter, floods of tears, complete awe and real fear! Unbelievable substance with unique experiences everytime!

Anyone else experience anything similar with this compound? My friends have experienced similar things when we dose together. For example, I watched Wall-E with 3 friends and we were all dosing together and we all agreed on feeling in and apart of the film. Incredible!
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Yes, this is one of my favorite aspects of MXE. When I watch a movie after staggering doses, I feel like I can't separate my own persona from the characters on screen, similar to how a baby doesn't distinguish between their self and their parents. I remember I watched Magnolia one night...if anyone here has seen that film you can imagine what a trainwreck that was. It's embarrassing to look back on, but I "knew" that every character on screen was an accurate reflection of my own life, that I was a horrible, lonely drug addict, and convinced myself that I was abused as a child.
 
these days i have been reading "the scientist: a methaphysical autobiography" and "programing the human bio computer" by john lily and am in absolute euphoria and shit all the things i have realised on ketamine dxm and methoxemine are now explained to me in a new way.
all i whanted to say is that john lilly is an absolute MUST read for anybody involved with dissociatives
im sure alot of people here have read him but just for the ones that might have not had the chanse until now - do it !
 
YESS!!! Time, please tick forward 12-13 hours, because it's likely my postman will have arrived and I'll be back in that false word that makes me so so so so happy!

I curse the day that they make this beauty of a substance illegal, even more than the day that they made beloved Mephedrone a crime to possess...

Part of me wonders, however, that - with this new "we can ban what we want, when want" power that the government have - they have yet actually ban anything. Have they taken note of what happened with Mephedrone? Could it be that they have FINALLY fucking realised that even if they ban a drug, another will quickly fill its place?

Let's see....
 
Volundr said:
Anyone felt like their heart was going to explode? I had this at maybe 40mg the other night, and it sent me into a bit of a panic attack. I was with a group of people that were all fucked, so i just had to go into a different room and conquer the extreme discomfort and mind-fuckyness by myself. Did 5 heart rate measurements, none went over like 120bpm, but it felt like it was going so much faster and my chest and elbow veins really quite hurt. After a couple of hours of fighting it I somehow managed to get over it, but it really was quite a difficult experience. Heart pain on drugs is 1 thing that can really fuck with you, so this put me off quite badly. The next day I asked a friend who uses it a lot more than me and he said he's had that sort of feeling before and that all you have to do is embrace it, but I'm not sure... The fact it felt like it was beating at 1million mph and the fact it was quite painful doesn't seem right to me..

Edit: Sorry if this has been answered before, don't have time to read through the thread yet
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Yes I did at very low doses, I took probably 30mg in all and my heart felt like it was going to explode as well. I think it just comes with the drug, i have been doing it daily for about a week or more by this time.
 
I'm gonna watch a 80's movie called Killer Klowns, it's appropriate for MXE. :)
 
ephrem said:
I have two batches of MXE from different vendors; one is white, soft and fluffy, the other one is slightly grainy, coarse and offwhite.

The former is the good stuff and it tastes bitter to me. The latter is not as good and I can't remember the taste, it's too long ago.

In combination with weed I get tingly-skull syndrome. I like tingly-skull syndrome (:
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Are you still able to get the fluffy stuff? I got grainy off white as well, it is salty and doesn't hurt when I snort it, but I assume its from impurities.
 
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