• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: Senior Staff

Women making the first move

Tude

Tude

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Aug 20, 2011
Messages
11,204
I know that women nowadays are "equal" to men, but how many of you actually will ask a guy out? Guys, what do y'all think of a woman asking you out? Is there still a double standard? Are men still expected to make the first move?

These questions come from an experience I had Thursday night. I asked a guy out and he was speechless. He said a girl had never asked him out before and he was stumped.

I guess I'm hoping this experience was an anomaly and people still aren't as old-fashioned. Anyone have any input/stories?
 
^^I kinda have the same attitude toward women. Most of them are a waste of my time. I am probably better off alone. I wouldn't be upset by a woman approaching me, and it has happened several times before, but I will tend to turn them down. I don't need anymore useless people in my life. I am, of course, going to die alone and unloved, but that is better than the pain and loss that comes inevitably with any real connection with other people. I'd say overall I've been approached about as many times as I've approached women myself. Nothing good comes of it either way.
 
i'd love a woman to ask me out, i think it's great if they do. i find it hard to chat women up, i think it's the thought of being embarrased in public, if she says no to you. but i'm all for equal rights, women should be treated just the same as men.
 
Tude said:
I know that women nowadays are "equal" to men, but how many of you actually will ask a guy out? Guys, what do y'all think of a woman asking you out? Is there still a double standard? Are men still expected to make the first move?
These questions come from an experience I had Thursday night. I asked a guy out and he was speechless. He said a girl had never asked him out before and he was stumped.

I guess I'm hoping this experience was an anomaly and people still aren't as old-fashioned. Anyone have any input/stories?
Click to expand...
whilst we and others may hope for an ambiguous future we must respect the way people choose to live. I wouldn't mind being asked out by a girl. But I know girls who expect to be approached. It fits with their old school romantic ideologies. -.- Yeah, I'd love to be asked out, but women don't really go for us masculine asian men beyond asian women. and my chances are shot to hell with them because I don't speak my heritage language.
sticker,375x360.png
 
I am female, and I have made the first move with males since I first started having relationships.

If a male comes on to me, I get turned off by him, so I have never had a relationship that I didn't start.
 
I don't ask the guy out per say, but I could see me doing it. I make it perfectly clear though and after a first date will tell the guy I really enjoyed myself and want to do it again. They tell me I'm hard to read as far as making a move, but as for whether or not I'd like to go to dinner and chat more or if I'm interested, I am very open about t hat. There's no reason to be coy if I like someone. I'm probably more coy if I'm not sure about a guy. Like if I'm intrigued but there's some flags I'm not sure about. If he asked me out, then I'd probably go unless those flags pointed toward serial killer or something. lol
 
MikeOekiM, I agree. I'm the kind of person who makes shit happen lol. I hate the thought of sitting around waiting. Penguin, you and I are like exact opposites lol! I don't ogle, but I'll def approach them. Artic, I actually agree with a lot of your reasons for not dating. But for some reason I've been rebelling against myself the last few months. At 21, I'm just now getting into the dating scene. Xeros, look at it this way : if you ask someone out and they say no, it's their loss! Besides, there's plenty of poon/dick in the sea! I look at everything as a learning experience. Hiphophippy, that's a shame, maybe you need to move somewhere else where women aren't so shallow? LilbabiC, awesome, but you won't ask a guy out if he's not shy? Ugly, that's cool! Why do you get turned off by guys that ask you out?
 
artic said:
^^I kinda have the same attitude toward women. Most of them are a waste of my time. I am probably better off alone. I wouldn't be upset by a woman approaching me, and it has happened several times before, but I will tend to turn them down. I don't need anymore useless people in my life. I am, of course, going to die alone and unloved, but that is better than the pain and loss that comes inevitably with any real connection with other people. I'd say overall I've been approached about as many times as I've approached women myself. Nothing good comes of it either way.
Click to expand...

awwww, artic. You know, I've been contemplating those thoughts myself for a while. I truly enjoy my alone time and only enjoy the company of a few people. I love my girlfriends, but I have had the worst luck with men in the last 4 years. Hell, I think this weekend has basically been my breaking point with my sister, so I have to cut another person out of my life. I get antsy and agitated when I'm around someone I really can't talk to, so that cuts out lots of men and women. lol

I wouldn't call the men useless though. They've taught me a lot about myself even if in the end I was so terribly depressed and sad at the outcome. I've thought (like you) "Well, had I just not dated this person, I'd be fine right now." But, it really is fulfilling to be with someone you really care about and knowing that person cares about you. Don't give up yet!
 
Tude said:
Ugly, that's cool! Why do you get turned off by guys that ask you out?
Click to expand...

It is just my personality. I feel crowded by a man who shows interest in me. A guy with a line is bad news. I am not attracted to confident men. Outgoing people are annoying to me just in general.

I don't trust really friendly strangers.

I like shy guys.
 
Everyone has different ideas on this. Yeah, women "should" ask guys out but it really doesn't happen that much! I asked out my first boyfriend. But it isn't common.
 
hiphophippy said:
whilst we and others may hope for an ambiguous future we must respect the way people choose to live. I wouldn't mind being asked out by a girl. But I know girls who expect to be approached. It fits with their old school romantic ideologies. -.- Yeah, I'd love to be asked out, but women don't really go for us masculine asian men beyond asian women. and my chances are shot to hell with them because I don't speak my heritage language.
sticker,375x360.png
Click to expand...

is that a bean bag chair?
 
Tude said:
Hiphophippy, that's a shame, maybe you need to move somewhere else where women aren't so shallow?
Click to expand...
Portland's my home. Masculine Asian men (if Asian at all) are just not really portrayed in media and have not been so. It's natural to expect.

It's kind of a trap for me. I'm a ENFJ which means the girls I attract are going to be interested in my thoughts primarily. But do to how poorly I've been treated in the past by other people I'm kind of socially reserved, meaning I'll only talk to people interested enough to approach me.

I'm also 19 so Girls in my dating range haven't really developed to the point where they can rationalize.

Hmmm. maybe this guy
yellow_peril.jpg


might act mature and treat them better than this guy

DIRTY_phpN6RgVs.jpg


I'm talking to a girl now, but she lives two hours away, not somewhere with ample opportunity to move either and she is 25. which puts people off :/
 
Last edited:
I'm an (I've been told regularly by beautiful girls/women) attractive 25 year old male. I've never been with a women where I made the first move. I guess it has been because I was kind of shy up until a couple years ago-- but now, I can see the advantages of only getting involved with women that approach you: if they're confident enough to approach an attractive male, they are probably more apt to have sex or at least be intellectually/culturally/??? stimulating. Guess that sounds egotistical, but that's the reality of the situation.
 
Last edited:
^ I agree, though for me, it is more girls making it obvious that they're interested, getting me to make a move, rather than them actually making the first move. I guess it all depends on what one considers a move though, because with a looser definition, it is definitely them making the first move.
 
Changed said:
I'm an (I've been told regularly by beautiful girls/women) attractive 25 year old male. I've never been with a women where I made the first move. I guess it has been because I was kind of shy up until a couple years ago-- but now, I can see the advantages of only getting involved with women that approach you: if they're confident enough to approach an attractive male, they are probably more apt to have sex or at least be intellectually/culturally/??? stimulating. Guess that sounds egotistical, but that's the reality of the situation.
Click to expand...

Ahh...my friend you've discovered the wisdom of the frogs.
 
feminists wanted equal rights, so they should have just as much responsibility for initiating a relationship.

social norms are sexist and dumb.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top