☮ Social ☮ PD Social: Cross-dimensional chatter. Now featuring mesphereomeantoliopeme.

[TheAppleCore]

Sometimes the anticipation that comes with gettin' yer drugs is better than the drugs themselves.

I've always thought that one of the problems with modern culture is that we tend to lead lives of continuous anticipation of something which never really comes to us. We have absolutely no ability to satisfy our ceaseless appetites. We are like the donkey chasing the carrot dangling inches from his nose. We pave over the meadows with black asphalt and choke the atmosphere with vehicular exhaust as we drive to our white-collar jobs, so that we can earn our six figure incomes, so that we can buy and frame a painting of a clear blue sky over lush green hills.

unfortunately TAC, ive never experienced relief that comes from realizing my own mortality. just a kind of dispair. its in the moments of closeness and love, appreciation for friends and family that i feel most alive. that, and facing the magnificence of the human spirit

Well, it doesn't quite come from the realization of your own mortality. It comes from the realization that your own mortality is an essential part of the cycle of life, and that the magnificence of the human spirit IS this cycle of birth, life, and then death. That you can thank death for bringing you the love and friendship that you cherish.

dude, i always thought you were older than that. not meaning anything by it, just that you seem quite the experienced person eh

Actually, now that you mention it, I ~am~ fairly shocked that Roger is barely 24. He has an uncanny sense of maturity and life-experience about him for his age.

 

[PepperSocks]

^ Bullshit; it's the Jerry Garcia avatar that gives you that illusion.

Maybe I'm a bit jealous of being the same age and not getting the same recognition (which I may or may not deserve but want anyway)

I've always thought that one of the problems with modern culture is that we tend to lead lives of continuous anticipation of something which never really comes to us.

Well, sometimes things do come to us. If lucky we experience things like love and what-not. I do agree that we do spend a lot of time chasing 'something'; like the donkey chasing the carrot. Part of the human condition I think, not sure how to get out of that one. If you're talking about material possessions it's easy; but to not be chasing happiness, that one's kind of intrinsic. Loving woman and some kiddies man, that's where it's at.

so that we can buy and frame a painting of a clear blue sky over lush green hills.

Damn yuppies. I just want a quaint home in the country, and maybe a truck/camper.

 

[TheAppleCore]

^ Bullshit; it's the Jerry Garcia avatar that gives you that illusion.

Maybe I'm a bit jealous of being the same age and not getting the same recognition (which I may or may not deserve but want anyway)

Aww PepperSocks we love you too! You should take it as a compliment. Women take it as a compliment when their age is underestimated.

but to not be chasing happiness, that one's kind of intrinsic.

Chasing happiness can be reasonably profitable -- you just have to do it properly. To be perfectly honest I've been fairly successful at this, at least thus far. Psychoactives have helped. :D

 

[PepperSocks]

To be perfectly honest I've been fairly successful at this, at least thus far. Psychoactives have helped. :D

As far as materialism goes I'm right there with ya. Psychedelics have pretty much trashed that. It's the other less tangible things that continue to evade me (that carrot, it's right there, as long as I keep going in this direction) lol :D

If anything psychedelics have made me chase the less tangible things too much, and by placing too much importance on them, actively seeking them, may be why I do not have them. Placing too much importance and 'need' on a relationship sure put the damper on that aspect of my life.

Had I not looked so deeply into things I may not have taken things too seriously, and I may currently be in a bountiful, healthy relationship. Psychedelics may have taken away materialism, but it's possible it replaced it with something worse.

If if's and but's were candy and nuts...

 

[TheAppleCore]

If anything psychedelics have made me chase the less tangible things too much, and by placing too much importance on them, actively seeking them, may be why I do not have them. Placing too much importance and 'need' on a relationship sure put the damper on that aspect of my life.

Had I not looked so deeply into things I may not have taken things too seriously, and I may currently be in a bountiful, healthy relationship. Psychedelics may have taken away materialism, but it's possible it replaced it with something worse.

That's an interesting observation. There is a profound wisdom in realizing that searching for things like happiness and love just make them all the more elusive. If you are aware of this important truth, you know you can win the battle by simply giving up the fight. But, there is a subtle difference between knowingly letting go of your attachments, and simply having a naively careless attitude.

That is to say, going through the learning experience of placing great importance on your own happiness, only to find that you were treading water, was probably an ultimately healthy exercise.

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Just got back from rehab. Great non 12 step program. Uses the Health Realization model. Lost of the concepts you guys would love. Now on Zoloft and Suboxone management and feeling amazing!

That's great 'jat! We were worried about you. *looks into HR model quickly* Huh, interesting approach, I am definitely what they would call an individual with a very low sense of self-efficacy (not entirely unmerited).

As far as materialism goes I'm right there with ya. Psychedelics have pretty much trashed that. It's the other less tangible things that continue to evade me (that carrot, it's right there, as long as I keep going in this direction) lol

If anything psychedelics have made me chase the less tangible things too much, and by placing too much importance on them, actively seeking them, may be why I do not have them. Placing too much importance and 'need' on a relationship sure put the damper on that aspect of my life.

Had I not looked so deeply into things I may not have taken things too seriously, and I may currently be in a bountiful, healthy relationship. Psychedelics may have taken away materialism, but it's possible it replaced it with something worse.

If if's and but's were candy and nuts...

I think the chasing after something is important in itself, persons still in their youth, who have yet to attain any sort of security (material or even ontological) should indeed by chasing after things to hopefully eventually find that. Keep all this stuff in mind and try to learn to let go for your attachments when the time is right. There is a flow to our individual existences, and our reality is ever-changing, I wholeheartedly believe there is no destination to reach/achieve, though you may find a place o sit out complacently along the way. The desires and unattainable satisfaction are an inherent part of our curiosity, and are not to be treated as something to get rid of, but as an opportunity to grow and develop, to be channeled positively. Or, well, that's just a thought I had anyway...


Anyways, since we set up a few (literally 3) different Christmas decorations today, I was able to encourage the purchase of some sake. Got to finally use the little sake carafe and cups that I found in that building, even if I didn't drink anywhere near what I would have if I purchased the booze, drinking 15% alcohol out of that little bowl like cup was quite fun (like, half a shot sized maybe). I did have enough to alleviate my mental distress at least. Proper Californian sake of course (the brand has nice commercials on the Japanese channel).

 

[Jesusgreen]

I'm looking at booking a trip back to England for NYE. Means I'll have to get my friend to buy some 6-APB and other goodies for me since I don't fancy mailing drugs over or taking them on the plane with me

I'm excited though, I miss the UK, so it'd be nice to spend NYE there :D

 

[kingme]

Just got back from rehab. Great non 12 step program. Uses the Health Realization model. Lost of the concepts you guys would love. Now on Zoloft and Suboxone management and feeling amazing!

dude awesome! congrats!

whats up pd? hows everyone enjoying their friday? :D

 

[nearjat]

Thanks Never and everyone else! Yeah that place and the HR model have completely changed my life. Just the idea that my thoughts are not reality and the connection of thought->feeling is major for me. Sure I "knew" that but never "believed" it ya know? The facility I went to didn't really focus on drugs often, we don't call ourselves addicts (not using? not an addict.), and literally state that the past doesn't exist, same with the future. So the only peace comes from living in this moment. Makes sense that ruminating about times that don't exist would drive you a little crazy eh? Some of the books they use are pretty "self-helpy" but once you lower your skeptic shield it's easy to look past. (books like "You Can Be Happy No Matter What", "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff: and its all small stuff" etc.) lol.

I still go to AA meetings but don't "work the steps", and try to stay out of the past shaming talk they seem to focus on. I just try and bring present moment positivity that relates the the negative event/behavior they're talking about. Like last night they were all running over how badly they manipulated people in the past, instead of sharing my likely identical behaviors, I shared that the cure for chronic manipulation is honesty on a deep level.

Sure, I feel amazing today, but the real work is keeping this up.

 

[Cyanoide]

I've suffered from a very high blood pressure lately due to too much MXE and MPA. I've tried to counter it with beta blockers (no, not at the times I've been high, but during daytime) but the high blood pressure kept coming back. I was a bit alarmed at times, since I got chest pain and abdominal pains. My pulse was quite normal, the problem was the blood pressure.

I've been eating these magnesium tablets believing they would help with the heart issue. I decided to do some research and they are in fact magnesium oxide, complete crap with a bioavailability of some 3-4%. Yesterday I bought some supplements, including magnesium citrate (bioavailability 80% ) and taurine. These two have done wonders! I think I have suffered from a magnesium deficit induced by MXE and MPA (and some speed) since I used them daily to counter mirtazapin sleepiness for two weeks.

I don't have any pain anymore, the blood pressure is getting lower all the time and I feel much better. I was almost ready to go to a doctor to speak about my blood pressure, it was soaring even 5 days after I've taken nothing psychoactive. But now my heart is beating normally and there's no pain so I think I'll found the solution. For me after this magnesium citrate + taurine is a must when taking MXE (and anything stimulating, and most importantly magnesium citrate, magnesium oxide has no effect!).

 

[Jesusgreen]

nearjat that sounds really great, especially the last part - I hate that AA and the like often focus almost completely on the negatives they're getting away from - not the new positives they're achieving. I think it's so much better to focus on the here and now (Yes, Ram Dass got it spot on imo) and what you're going to make of the experience of life. Overcoming addiction is a challenge, but you're rewarded for it - and you come away with so much more life experience, new insights into things. :D Keep it up man.

I'm in a very comfortable fluffy MXE cloud right now, full of synchronicity (e.g. I was thinking about PD social and if I should measure my blood pressure on MXE, and I see Cyanoide's last post!) and other things that have made me laugh and smile. I've always loved how content and relaxing dissociatives are - just had a really nice shower and just sitting here feels like I'm wrapped up in a blanket being given a massage by the world's most beautiful women.

I know what drug I'm taking on Christmas :D

 

[Cyanoide]

I know what drug I'm taking on Christmas :D

Wanna tell us?

I'm so happy I got my heart in shape. I was so worried. Now I'm enjoying MXE without any nasty side effects. I'm euphoric to say the least. I feel so good. I fucked up but managed to "heal" myself.

 

[PepperSocks]

and literally state that the past doesn't exist, same with the future. So the only peace comes from living in this moment.

I have flashes of this realization, especially on psychedelics, but they never seem to stick for the long term of daily mind-state.

Friday night, some diazepam, some oxy, maybe some MXE but not sure, might save it for tomorrow. Push-ups and crunches before diazepam kicks in, then supper.

 

[yucatanboy2]

Man, what a crazy week.

Finally over. I'm tired, but pumped about getting back in lab and doing work (wierd). Conferences and new collaborations are invigorating.

Drinking trader joes seasonal special beer. Belgium-y

 

[LSDMDMA&AMP]

socks i demand to know why you said i'm not fine

 

[adrian89987]

Man, what a crazy week.

Finally over. I'm tired, but pumped about getting back in lab and doing work (wierd). Conferences and new collaborations are invigorating.

Drinking trader joes seasonal special beer. Belgium-y

Glad to hear you excited to get back in the lab
I made my first substrate today, now to get to work optimizing some reactions, new projects are invigorating

 

[PepperSocks]

Incorrect spelling. Just kidding, but telling a first timer to eat an 1/8th or "gtfo" as you put it in an actual harm reduction forum thread; ain't fine.

 

[adrian89987]

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cshimala/5275838854/in/dateposted/

This is really cool

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

^Dude, nice vid.

 

[Jesusgreen]

^ Damn that's awesome. Since it's just an effect in Sony Vegas I totally have to record something and try that. It'd be cool if cities of the future looked like that :D

Unfortunately no sign of my drugs yet, it took 4 days last time so I was hoping they'd be here this morning, but I guess with it being close to Christmas, mail is probably slow.

Edit: Check the video in the description too: http://vimeo.com/24084352