Like I said, it's a dopaminergic drug and it's going to eventually efect your mood. PCP and derivatives are known for inducing manic throughts, expecially with long term use or high doses. It's not a miracle antidepressant. Long term usage will bite you in the ass.
There is some research suggesting that the antidepressant effects of ketamine only show in small, infrequent doses and that abuse of ketamine leads itself to depression and addiction eventually.
I also refuse to believe you can tell the difference between MXE and tiletamine solely by taste. Test kits, test kits, test kits.
The lonliness and frustration that can appear are usually signs you are neglecting your social or familial life to do MXE instead. (Either that or they're the comedown effects that people say don't exist - this kind of emotional stuff is common with stimulants). Please try to keep a sense of perspective, and if your trips are too draining and you end up feeling burt out and lonely, give the mxe a break and wor on making things better before you totally lose the plot.
In fact I had a real problem losing the plot with Ketamine, it started off manic and eventually went paranoid-schizo. This was a huge addiction. Took a break from all drugs for several months after I quit to regain a proper mindset.
MXE only made me somewhat manic if I let it, and that was early in my experimentation. I realize it's only been 9 months or so, but it's been 9 months of pure learning, to be better, to do better, to feel better, to set better limits and not limit myself at the same time.
Naturally, I have been somewhat of a negative and lazy person. I say "have been" because I am learning to change this. Anyway, for me, the easily controllable hypomania that MXE delivers is.. and believe me I wish I wasn't saying this in all honesty on a widely read message board.. something like a miracle antidepressant.
I'm sure for a lot of people this drug will make them straight up manic. And for a lot of people this drug will make them dissociate. For some people it could make them anti-social, or paranoid. I don't know for sure, but I suspect for whatever reason this stuff just might be the "right medicine" for certain people.
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Regarding the taste, Tiletamine and Methoxetamine are quite different, it doesn't take anything more than an acquainted palette to distinguish these drugs. You can tell salt and pepper apart by taste, no?
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I'm wondering if long term use will bite me in the ass, and how. This is part of why I haven't had any in two weeks. I realize this is probably an non-sustainable habit. Although it sure has seemed sustainable. Even my tolerance is only moderate after 8-9 months and ~75 grams. This calculates to around 200mg a day (calculations adjusted for amounts I've shared) and probably more like 150mg a day recently as I had more fun with higher doses in the beginning.
150mg divided by 6 25mg doses spread throughout the day. Tolerance has flatlined at this level for months. This would be too much for non-tolerant people seeking functional (but nice) antidepressant effects. But also it is not an absurd amount or a huge tolerance.
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Seiko, I'm not really trying to nay-say you. I realize the value of being better safe than sorry. And you're a mod, and one of the best mods on this site, so harm reduction ftw. If I was still a PD mod I probably wouldn't be opening my mouth about this. But since I'm not anymore, that's my story
It's sure important to stress that YMMV and probably will in a worse way. But sometimes some drugs work alright for some people who can keep their shit together and handle them responsibly
... not at all usually, though!
Anyway I don't intend to eat my own words, and I haven't any MXE at the moment but still feel it has benefited my state of mind and helped me improve my life situation. I might get some more in a while as there's some events it might be fun to have around for. So.. to be continued..
