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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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iridescentblack said:
Guys, guys, gusys.... Breaker Bre(aker) breaker.

You've got to push yourselves to the absolute breaking point. This neurosapping poison is - as has been said - one that effects the very core.

Push yourselves into shape. I believe in your pretty faces.

Despite that my teeth are becoming gross as hell and I didn't shower a lot for a while, I think of a lot of you as well. ha ha
Listen, tots. I understand where you're coming from. I fought like hell and now I can do incredible things. Just ask Bruce Lee... Oh wait, he's dead!
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I agree With iridescentblack. Most of you guys just need to get away from the computer, so go outside, go to a gym, park, library, arcade, and just don't return home until it's time for you to go to bed.
Our lifestyles can be even more poisonous than Invega, so don't let the misery of the poison hold you back. Don't just sit here in front of the computer screen and bite your time because you will never get better this way. NEVER, I mead it, our lifestyles can be more poisonous. You have to get up and keep moving, you have to push yourselves outside of your comfort zones... something which isn't that hard when it comes down to it and it gets easier to do over time.
 
@iridescentblack just kinda hard when you try to push your self and your lower back starts hurting than you lay down and it still keeps hurting. I recently stopped getting sleep in the past week because of this after 5 months and this starts happening to me. Its making me suicidal i cant find comfort anywhere.
 
Mikecheema92 said:
How long have you been off of it iridescentblack and how long did you take it in total
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A little over 2 years off and took it for about a year. Probably 13 injections in total.
Vbodnariu said:
@iridescentblack just kinda hard when you try to push your self and your lower back starts hurting than you lay down and it still keeps hurting. I recently stopped getting sleep in the past week because of this after 5 months and this starts happening to me. Its making me suicidal i cant find comfort anywhere.
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Don't let back pain stop you. It never stopped me. But don't get too cocky. If you sustain an injury, rest it when you need to. Sustained a back injury halfway through that major part of my routine to getting myself back on track. Couldn't tell you how long I dealt with it. But at least it's gone now.
 
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Fuck im not typing all that again just accidently deleted my message again :(.

Swim is suicidal and wants to die. Hes tired of being in agony and trapped in his skin.

Ive developed a new symptom about 4-5 days ago after 5 months of being off offending med. My lower back pain is following my every move all while im being tormented in my own mind. I lost sleep for like 4 days and to have that taken away from you? Imagine losing something you have to look forward to everyday especially something like sleep and instead have it replaced with squirming tossing and turning in pain from your lower back making you uncomfortable.

Truely the icing on the cake right there. Dont know what to do anymore :(
 
You guys gotta hang in there as best you can.

Also, remember as invegauser and I would suggest, to clear your messages so we can get to you when we can.
 
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Mikecheema92 said:
Does anyone also get a nasty feeling underneath their forehead and nose like the t zone area
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Yes, I used to get this last time I was on antipsychotics. I'm not sure if its exactly what you're experiencing because I'd describe it as a fantastic feeling.

I'd hear a crackling sound coming from that region as if something was breaking down.

I always thought it was pineal gland decalcifying from the drug which is a very good thing.
 
Yeah i remember mike have some of the best energy ever im actually adhd i use to run outdoors with the boys when i was little all day. I miss pushing myself to the limits and actually having something to gain from it. Now its like im forced to to over exert with nothing to gain but pain. Life was beautiful indeed, i miss being able to sit down and comfortably watch something to. I remember being little and being the happiest kid in the world getting of school to watch dbz everyday on toonami. Especially when new episodes came out. I had an imagination before i could collect things build things make music and most importantly have fun doing so. Dbz and music were 2 great motivators for me music was like an unlimited natural drug it was beautiful and really shaped life and what it could be. Who ever thought we would be thrown in the dirt and buried alive.
 
I feel like I'm going to be screwed for a while since i had close to 10 injections. But I feel like I'm getting better at the same time being just 11 weeks off it. I just want to run again. If I can run then I know I have the energy to lift again too. If I can't get drunk or high whatever I'll be straight edge. But if I can't lift or run again it might be like what's the point? I'm gonna try working out again in a month when I get back home but does anyone have any weight lifting expericnce that they would wanna share being on this med? I might do a squat everyday program to use all my muscle groups
 
Mike... try to calm down please. You are acting almost just like me in the first few months off of it. I was posting everywhere, looking here and other message boards constantly. Try to relax please, we are all going through the same shit. Yes it sucks and it's wrong but it will pass! I am starting to come around just like the many others. I can almost gauge my progress by how much I come to this board. Lately I have only been here every 2 or 3 days. That is another way I know it is healing. My highs are stronger and my anhedonia is slowly letting up. You will come around. There is no need to freak yourself out and possibly others! Just hang in there and try to be thankful to be alive and that you have a better road ahead.
 
It really is worth it if you do everything right you guys. But remember I only had 2 shots of invega the 2 loading shots). But the bottom line is in my experience, towards the end, you have to really work hard for it. Killing yourself with exercise and maxxing out on sunlight and sweat is the key. I didn't fast while i did all this, I ate a ton because I live at my grandparents... If you diet or fast too in the sun, then you're golden/ Don't do drugs. For now just save all your money for the day you recover.. Make long term plans to to stay realistically motivated. Right now you're in the worlds greatest underground Olympic waiting game.. But that day will come so just know that the trophy is there waiting for you, with your name on it.. Because looking back I think it was not that long a wait, but just not knowing for sure,, that I think is what really makes it feel like forever... So I'm here to let you know 18 months is the finish line. The last 6 months of which are much easier in themselves, but those months you actually are making into your hardest months as you see more and more subtle rewards from exercise in terms of working to break through. A girlfriend was my motivation 100%, but I think you can do it without one. (((Just pay a sexy asian masseuse for happy ending! To also help your brain cuz I think sex will be very helpful too for the brain.)))

Looking back now I think it was worth it, to actually be happy and myself again. But even with my happiness and my playful dreams, I find I am much more cynical about it of coarse but, I can sense a power this time neurotically that is here to stay.. So listen. Once you reach 14 months I would say theres no excuse to not exercise,, hard. Every day. I hiked 35 miles in that first week, 5 miles a day because I got a very sexy girls number (who didn't know anything about my chain smoking and drinking suical habits in my fast food trashed car... LOL.) So that was my first time and after a year of all that vegetating, it was like ok,, Die? Orrrrr Atleast TRY HARD AS I CAN NOT TO, and then I still can die if I wan't! Thats fair enough right??.....That helped me begin the real exercise process.... But no, It was NOT easy.

Now at 18 months, I felt like pretty much better, but I took 6 Kratom pills from my friend and I was Euphoric for like 4 days, way too happy...And now Im myself again and that was over a week ago. Dreams and desires all back. I'm even looking at my book shelf again with the desire to read. So please just do these steps, wait for 18 months and you did all that before you try the Kratom, PLEASE, Do not rush.@ 18 months, the Invega is guaranteed to be out of your system and its just your brain recovering now. Only then is when you go get yourself some Kratom. And i guarantee if you follow these steps in order, the Kratom is gunna rewire your brain In one clean swoop. But be patient and do all the exercise before that, until you feel like you almost recovered 100%.Then you do the Kratom.

That all being said. Don't feel guilty for killing yourself. That still make's you an Invega survivor.
 
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2.5 months since last injection. Got 6 of them. Anhedonia, restlessness, strong & fast heartbeat, lack of motivation, loss of functionality, cognitive impairment, memory issues, I feel stupid, can't find interest or meaning in anything, my personality drastically changed for the worst, am negative all the time, comparing myself to others' better lives with ridiculous amounts of envy, suicidal.

I nearly killed myself numerous times now, living in the 9th floor, there wasn't a single day in the past few months I didn't think about jumping off the window. If I wasn't so afraid and wasn't thinking on ruining my mom's life, I would do it without a doubt by now. I want to end my life with passion. That's how horrible I feel on this poison. I lost all will to live, and feel even worse that I'm stuck in this world as I haven't the guts to end it. I was robbed, literally robbed. Reading through this thread about the 8-10 months mark with several others exceeding one year, I'm very discouraged as each day is such a struggle and I have no idea how I would survive this long. I just can't survive this long but what choice do I have if I can't end my life? What a disaster.

My only hope which I'm struggling putting forward due to my mom's disapproval, is fasting. I didn't read anyone talking about it. I have experienced long fasts before and it's known to be the best method for cleansing the body. Thinking about going abroad to do it but my severe incapability of functioning properly hinders my intention. I lost my ability to initiate, to be creative, to function in the real world. The need to find an accommodation and use communication methods to book an hotel or apartment really puts me into lots of stress. I did exactly that before getting the injections, travelling abroad. Now I can't do it. I really think fasting would be an amazing tool in clearing the body off the poison, especially dry fasts.

Can't understand how they give such horrible drugs to people, it really baffles me. All in the name of handling a psychosis they rob a person of such vital elements of their humanity. Wish I could somehow punish the docs saying it has no side effects.
 
Hey Rel,
That sucks your going through this too. Im going through very similar problems as you are. Why were you given Invega in the first place? What did the doctors diagnose you with and what "symptoms" did you have? Do you also have a complete loss of imagination, creativity and photographic memory? Like your minds eye where you could imagine vividly and in all colours has vanished? My brain is so damaged from these poisons it went from full of colour with a vivid imagination to complete blankness. I have no motivation, have completely stopped working out, meeting up with friends and even reading books, watching movies and listening to my favorite songs as I cant absorb myself in anything anymore. I have even lost my girlfriend since I got those three Risperdal consta shots. If this doesnt change soon I feel like suicide is the only way out. I feel my body and health have been destroyed and my brain has become a lobotomized empty shell. Can anyone else relate to this loss of visualization ability, imagination, spirituality and emotion? I could once visualize different scenarious and worlds in colour in such detail in my minds eye. When I read a book or daydreamed it was like seeing high deifnition bluray film in my minds eye. I had a great life at univeristy, so many hobbies and goals for my future. I was also religious, went to church and read the bible before Risperdal and other psychiatric drugs and since this poison fried my brain I have not picked up a book or the bible once.
 
If you spent as much time reading this thread as you spend posting here you would find the answers to your questions.
 
Its crazy as mentioned above how we can go from a vivid creative imagination to literally blank nothingness. I experience alot of that and alot of stunning of the mind to where ill try really hard to remember something i thought of 5 seconds ago and literally can not. Its like memory is constantly being erased and dumped before you could store anything. Its hard for me to put sentences together and just make sense of the simplest things.
 
I was told by a friend to watch a movie on Netflix and it's called 100 meters. It's about a MS patient doing a triathlon. I was really moved by this and I think everyone should watch this movie. With this poison in our veins and all of this stuff that's holding us back maybe this can be an inspiration to all of us each of us all doing our 100 meters
 
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