I WAS on the up.
now i'm feeling like shit.
now i remember why i started cheeking the pills and shooting dope again last time i was on. this shit makes me feel emotionally dead and makes me wanna just do amphetamines again. because thats a fucking great alternative.
I hate how my parents shove this shit down my throat. In rehab the "diagnosis" or whatever was "Polysubstance Abuser", not just heroin addict. Take away heroin from me and i'll still use drugs if I wanna use, I'll just go back to what I used to do, shit that you couldn't even tell I was high except for the blown pupils. Cause when I've used amphetamines in the recent past, i can pound down more dexedrine than i ever could, and my pupils get blown off it like they do off methamphetamine.
But we're talking 150-180mg IR doses to start with, then more in an hour or two or three most of the time. I'm sure that would put a nontolerant diggity in the hospital, but me thats just enough to get me "high enough". I remember when you get so high on amph/methamph your vision goes blurred to shit...
that and when i'd do amphs, i'd still shoot heroin on them/24 hours after taking and i'd still be completely wired and even 10 bags wouldn't stop my racing heart.
Having a tolerance to every drug sucks when you're using. Tolerant to amphetamines, tolerant to benzos, tolerant to opiates..