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Rphilli72 i will be starting on antidepressants, however I'm holding back until after my graduation in a couple of weeks time in case i have any side effects. I dunno about benzos, I'm worried about becoming really dependant on them, and the last thing i need right now is a benzo addiction! Also i thought they were only for emergencies (ie when you're having a panic attack) and because I'm Dr/dp'd i don't get panic attacks or even anxiety anymore (i don't get anything else either really, besides depression). As a result i don't know if a benzo would help the symptoms of someone suffering from derealization, and I'm terrified of taking anything that could make it worse
 
Wow, thanks, man! All symptoms i have are mentioned there, except from one(you will laugh):
My nose is always itching since the anxiety started? Pretty crazy...Maybe just a symptom of stressed induced skin dryness. But i dont feels dry..:?
Yeah! Get the anxiety sorted, and you'll be 100% no time.
 
Rphilli72 i will be starting on antidepressants, however I'm holding back until after my graduation in a couple of weeks time in case i have any side effects. I dunno about benzos, I'm worried about becoming really dependant on them, and the last thing i need right now is a benzo addiction! Also i thought they were only for emergencies (ie when you're having a panic attack) and because I'm Dr/dp'd i don't get panic attacks or even anxiety anymore (i don't get anything else either really, besides depression). As a result i don't know if a benzo would help the symptoms of someone suffering from derealization, and I'm terrified of taking anything that could make it worse

Trust me, it won't make you sicker. Xanax is what made/makes all my symptoms go away including the DR/DP when I still had that symptom. Sure, you can't abuse it just like any other drug. Anti-depressants on the other hand will likely make you sicker initially (maybe two weeks) and then you'll feel a whole lot better. When I say sicker, with me it was a constant nausea/dizziness and just weird sensations in my head. It's not like my LTC symptoms or anxiety got worse, but I did a lot of laying down as I didn't feel well generally speaking. In fact, I almost stopped taking Paxil, but I got through it and feel much better. Ro4eva helped me a lot through the whole process!
 
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1 year recovering from a long term comedown, not loosing hope.

Hi team!

Almost a year ago I went to a party, snorted 3 lines of what they told me it was amphetamines, felt good, had fun, went to bed and I woke up in hell.

For the first 4 months, I couldn't work, I had to stay at home with terrible symptoms, went to the shrine and got prescribed escitalopram (SSRI) and Klonopin which after 8 months I stopped taking because nothing was changing for good or bad.

My symptoms:

First thing I have to say it's that they fluctuate a lot, even on the same day, I could wake up in a horrible state, go to work and then somehow suddenly I feel better. I have to say that almost everyday, by the end of the day, night time, I always improve a lot and almost feel good but then I woke up next morning in the same shitty state. Anybody relates to that?

Anxiety: Not all the times but sometimes, it fluctuates a lot, when it's bad I feel bad surrounded by people, social anxiety.

Depression: Just sad for being like that, no energy, no motivation, just want to hide from people.

headaches, dizzines, almost like vertigo's, I have seen my vision moving up and down or side to side 3 times in one year.

Difficultys concentrating, loss of cognition, hard to maintain a conversation, feeling spaced out.

derealization: feeling like if I am in a dream, like if something is off.

I could make a long story but the most scary symptom that I still have is that I cannot connect to my image on the mirror.
If I look to the mirror, I can connect with one side of my face then with the other side, first one eye then the other eye but I cannot look at my whole face like a unit. I really thing that my eyes have changed, sometimes I have one pupil bigger than the other one and my eyes are empty when I look at them on the mirror. Can you relate to this?

The reason why I don't lose hope after one year is because out of the blue I had 3 windows of time where I felt good, almost zero symptoms, so that makes me think if I managed to feel good for 3 different periods of time then what I have is not brain damage even if it feels something very physiological and not just psychological.

In december I flew home and felt good for a full week, when I flew back to where i live, I felt back on my symptoms.

In june I flew with my friends to Italy for holidays and again my symptoms disappeared for a full week except the weird look of my eyes, almost like if the drug made me squint or being crosse eye. If I ask my wife about my eyes, she doesn't see the difference, but I cannot connect with both sides of my face on the mirror.

In july again I flew to my country for holidays for 3 weeks, felt bad for 2 weeks and then I felt good for the last week.

So, when I am in a working mode I don't have those long windows of enlightment, it's only when I flew away for holidays when I managed to improve my condition for a full week with very minimum symptoms.

Any of you guys with longterm comedowns, specially those of you that have healed, can relate to those experiences?
Living in hell but then coming out of it for a full week just to fall back to it afterwards?

It's very frustrating but it gives me hope that one day I can stay grounded to that state of mind. If I managed to feel like this on 3 different occasions why I can't live like this the rest of my life.

So 3 big concerns, please help.

1: Almost every night I feel good, cognition comes back, I am happy, I feel like I can beat this thing and then wake up fucked up again, it's a never ending loop.

2: In a full year I had 3 different brackets of time where I felt recovered, around 80 to 90%, always when on the road for holidays, when I fly back home, my symptoms return. Can you relate to that?

3: One symptom that has never cleared even during those brackets it's the fact that I cannot connect to both sides of my face on the mirror at the same time, my eyes are empty, sometimes one pupil is bigger than the other. It's this derealization and depersonalization?
Can you relate, can you help? Have you been there and have you recovered from this symptom. When I look to the mirror I feel like I am squint or crossed eyed but if I ask my wife she don't see that, so it might be my mind playing tricks on me.

Thank you for your help.
 
Learn to ignore your symptoms and go about your daily life. It's psychological, you had an initial bad comedown (can last 5-7 days) from serotonin depletion and you began to think it was going to last forever which is why you are still going through it. You convinced yourself into a panic state that has basically left you with PTSD...
 
I can't say the two-sides-of-your-face thing is common. I mean maybe it's just your perception of DP/DR? Most of your symptoms sound like a LTC from MDMA, but you stated that you were told it was amphetamines, right?

So, I am not sure what is going on with you, but have you seen a doctor? Have you thought about medications like anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs?

Yes, the symptoms varying from day to day and week to week is pretty common. I've had periods of feeling great and then the next day I feel like shit again. These days I'm mostly pretty good. And, your stress levels seem like they are declining when you are on your vacations, therefore your symptoms get better, which makes sense.
 
Hi Macenroe,

I feel what youre going through and it will pass with time I promise. Had pretty much all of the symptoms you describe as 1,2,3 and they all faded away with time!

Im glad you are feeling better and exactly those "back to normal" moments during my LTC is what also kept me going during worse times. Live a healthy lifestyle , exercise as much as you can (I did twice a day combined with yoga which immensely speeded up my recovery) and avoid all drugs. It is crucial for full recovery. Time is your best friend here.

Learn to ignore your symptoms and go about your daily life. It's psychological, you had an initial bad comedown (can last 5-7 days) from serotonin depletion and you began to think it was going to last forever which is why you are still going through it. You convinced yourself into a panic state that has basically left you with PTSD...

Another great advice from someone who probably never went through a similar experience. There are numerous cases where people got into whats called an LTC days/weeks to a month after their last use (or last bad experience). No connection to the initial comedown here....

DP/DR, Depression or anxiety are not psychological! Its your brain not working as it should due to chemical imbalance/temporary damage caused by drugs (in these cases). Why cant you accept that some people react to drugs differently? Maybe its genetics, maybe some of us are just predisposed to break down the drug in a different way that the 99percent, causing temporary damage.

Please do not give advice to someone who is going through an LTC that its all in your head and to learn to ignore the symptoms. Thats not helpful. The OP is asking for someones help here and reassurance everything is going to be okay. Instead youre making him (and others going through similar sit) look like a fool.

I agree that continue living your life to the best of your abilities during an LTC is what should be done, but unless you are at least a bit out of the terrible depression/anxiety , this is very very difficult/impossible.

Never judge anyone unless you walk a mile in their shoes. So if you never went through a Long Term Comedown (i hope you didnt!) you should probably try to find a better way to use your free time as opposed to talk about something you have no idea about.
 
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, questioning what you can and can't do is a part of the anxiety. I'm still doing this a little bit as well, but it's getting way better (felt like I couldn't drink sugar, alcohol, caffeine, even dairy at one point). I then realised it was my fear and concentration when ingesting that was flipping my anxiety out. Try drinking, and when I say drinking, I mean having fun with friends and forgetting about it all. Your/my recovery depends on your/my mindset. Really, live life like nothing ever happened, as hard as it is. You really get better, apart from my eye floaters and my moderate level of anxiety day to day, I'm absolutely fine sticking to that.

Please remember that an LTC isn't actually real.

What? A LTC is as real as the air I'm breathing. You can't just wish it away. Sure, there are healthier ways of dealing with it and trying to forget about it as much as possible is one.

As far as smoking is concerned, I quit years ago, but I'd imagine it's not good for your anxiety levels even though psychologically it's relaxing. Physically it's not. Nicotine is a stimulant. So, quitting is obviously a much healthier road, but you already know that and right now your body can use all the help it can get.
 
CV Effects?

CV = Cardiovascular. I'd never condone smoking simply because it's so addictive and harmful to your body. Currently quitting from the bad 'social smoking' habit I managed to get from drinking + smoking at uni.

If the cigarettes help your anxiety then it's likely that the anxiety is just a loop. Cigarettes increase dopamine effectively rewarding your brain, but they don't reduce anxiety. If you're a regular smoker then they might reduce stress simply because your body becomes stressed without them. Anyway, I'd try to stop smoking them (as I am) if I were you. Try to find natural means to finding happiness - exercise, socializing, hobbies are far more healthy and will aid recovery.
 
My Klonopin got me out of the house and really is my friend in need when things go sour. Now your decision to wait with the ADs is a very wise one because for me the first three weeks were very hard. Anxiety high, depression high, luckily no nausea. It's definitely no joke.
 
Has anyone who has experienced or still experiencing a Long Term Comedown noticed a distortion or diminishment of senses such as taste/smell/touch?

If so have they come back to as they were before?
 
Hi team!

Almost a year ago I went to a party, snorted 3 lines of what they told me it was amphetamines, felt good, had fun, went to bed and I woke up in hell.

For the first 4 months, I couldn't work, I had to stay at home with terrible symptoms, went to the shrine and got prescribed escitalopram (SSRI) and Klonopin which after 8 months I stopped taking because nothing was changing for good or bad.

My symptoms:

First thing I have to say it's that they fluctuate a lot, even on the same day, I could wake up in a horrible state, go to work and then somehow suddenly I feel better. I have to say that almost everyday, by the end of the day, night time, I always improve a lot and almost feel good but then I woke up next morning in the same shitty state. Anybody relates to that?

Anxiety: Not all the times but sometimes, it fluctuates a lot, when it's bad I feel bad surrounded by people, social anxiety.

Depression: Just sad for being like that, no energy, no motivation, just want to hide from people.

headaches, dizzines, almost like vertigo's, I have seen my vision moving up and down or side to side 3 times in one year.

Difficultys concentrating, loss of cognition, hard to maintain a conversation, feeling spaced out.

derealization: feeling like if I am in a dream, like if something is off.

I could make a long story but the most scary symptom that I still have is that I cannot connect to my image on the mirror.
If I look to the mirror, I can connect with one side of my face then with the other side, first one eye then the other eye but I cannot look at my whole face like a unit. I really thing that my eyes have changed, sometimes I have one pupil bigger than the other one and my eyes are empty when I look at them on the mirror. Can you relate to this?

The reason why I don't lose hope after one year is because out of the blue I had 3 windows of time where I felt good, almost zero symptoms, so that makes me think if I managed to feel good for 3 different periods of time then what I have is not brain damage even if it feels something very physiological and not just psychological.

In december I flew home and felt good for a full week, when I flew back to where i live, I felt back on my symptoms.

In june I flew with my friends to Italy for holidays and again my symptoms disappeared for a full week except the weird look of my eyes, almost like if the drug made me squint or being crosse eye. If I ask my wife about my eyes, she doesn't see the difference, but I cannot connect with both sides of my face on the mirror.

In july again I flew to my country for holidays for 3 weeks, felt bad for 2 weeks and then I felt good for the last week.

So, when I am in a working mode I don't have those long windows of enlightment, it's only when I flew away for holidays when I managed to improve my condition for a full week with very minimum symptoms.

Any of you guys with longterm comedowns, specially those of you that have healed, can relate to those experiences?
Living in hell but then coming out of it for a full week just to fall back to it afterwards?

It's very frustrating but it gives me hope that one day I can stay grounded to that state of mind. If I managed to feel like this on 3 different occasions why I can't live like this the rest of my life.

So 3 big concerns, please help.

1: Almost every night I feel good, cognition comes back, I am happy, I feel like I can beat this thing and then wake up fucked up again, it's a never ending loop.

2: In a full year I had 3 different brackets of time where I felt recovered, around 80 to 90%, always when on the road for holidays, when I fly back home, my symptoms return. Can you relate to that?

3: One symptom that has never cleared even during those brackets it's the fact that I cannot connect to both sides of my face on the mirror at the same time, my eyes are empty, sometimes one pupil is bigger than the other. It's this derealization and depersonalization?
Can you relate, can you help? Have you been there and have you recovered from this symptom. When I look to the mirror I feel like I am squint or crossed eyed but if I ask my wife she don't see that, so it might be my mind playing tricks on me.

Thank you for your help.
 
Hi Macenroe,

I feel what youre going through and it will pass with time I promise. Had pretty much all of the symptoms you describe as 1,2,3 and they all faded away with time!

Im glad you are feeling better and exactly those "back to normal" moments during my LTC is what also kept me going during worse times. Live a healthy lifestyle , exercise as much as you can (I did twice a day combined with yoga which immensely speeded up my recovery) and avoid all drugs. It is crucial for full recovery. Time is your best friend here.



Another great advice from someone who probably never went through a similar experience. There are numerous cases where people got into whats called an LTC days/weeks to a month after their last use (or last bad experience). No connection to the initial comedown here....

DP/DR, Depression or anxiety are not psychological! Its your brain not working as it should due to chemical imbalance/temporary damage caused by drugs (in these cases). Why cant you accept that some people react to drugs differently? Maybe its genetics, maybe some of us are just predisposed to break down the drug in a different way that the 99percent, causing temporary damage.

Please do not give advice to someone who is going through an LTC that its all in your head and to learn to ignore the symptoms. Thats not helpful. The OP is asking for someones help here and reassurance everything is going to be okay. Instead youre making him (and others going through similar sit) look like a fool.

I agree that continue living your life to the best of your abilities during an LTC is what should be done, but unless you are at least a bit out of the terrible depression/anxiety , this is very very difficult/impossible.

Never judge anyone unless you walk a mile in their shoes. So if you never went through a Long Term Comedown (i hope you didnt!) you should probably try to find a better way to use your free time as opposed to talk about something you have no idea about.

I've had strong issues related to drug use (mdma) even once sober for weeks that consisted of depersonalization (to the point where I would be walking and suddenly be scared by how I felt as if I was dreaming and couldn't believe that this was my sober state of mind and that I was experiencing such notible detachment in real life), along side depression and anxiety. It tormented me for a long time until I learned to just accept that I might never mentally feel the same again, and just began going with the flow any time I noticed symtoms and continue going on with my life. Instead of overthinking and panicking and obsessing over my symptoms.

Once I had that epiphany, my symptoms nearly immediately went away. With acceptance, it was like a major stress and weight lifted off my shoulders.

The comedown from mdma isn't just the first 24 hours, it can include the entire following week or even month as your monamine receptors restore themselves. And every LTC story I've read does begin within a week or two at most from mdma use, so i still stand by my opinion of it being a mind over matter thing. The worst thing you can do is start googling long term comedowns and reading horror stories. This will just make you stress even more and it's a snowball effect, the stress amplifies your symptoms.
 
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Has anyone who has experienced or still experiencing a Long Term Comedown noticed a distortion or diminishment of senses such as taste/smell/touch?

If so have they come back to as they were before?

Thanks again Jibberman ;)

"Lack of appetite or taste, a tinny, metallic or ammonia smell or taste

What you feel:

Sometimes you just don't feel like eating, or the thought of food is unappealing. Or, that even though you are eating, the food has no taste or is unsatisfying.
You have a persistent 'tinny', 'metallic' or 'ammonia' smell in your nose, or you taste it often and it's not from your food or environment. Often it's just there, but you can't figure out why
What causes this:

Similar to the other stomach related symptoms, loss of appetite is a result of an upset stomach due to the sustained increase in digestive action. Loss of taste occurs because taste buds are nerves, and an over stimulated nervous system can send false signals to the brain which means that sometimes we can experience odd, dulled or incorrect sensory perceptions (since our receptive senses are controlled and interpreted by the nervous system). The loss of taste because of this miscommunication or misinterpretation by the over stimulated nervous does occur. This is another example of how we can receive incorrect or inaccurate sensory perceptions because of an over stimulated nervous system.
The only remedy for this symptom is rest so that the nervous system can regainits health.

Numbness or tingling in hands and feet

What you feel:

You feel pins and needles in your hands and feet, or other parts of your body. Sometimes you get a feeling like a particular area of your body is numb or frozen. Other times you may feel a burning sensation in your arms, legs or face.
What causes this:

Since the nervous system conveys touch sensations to the brain, when the nervous system is over stimulated, it can sometimes send impaired information which will often be felt as a numbness, tingling or pins and needles. For example, when an individual pinches a nerve they usually feel the results of this as numbness or tingling in a certain part of the body.
Because the entire skin area of the body is touch sensitive (nerves cells connected to the brain through the nervous system network), any part of the skin or body can feel numb, tingly or as pins and needles.
Typically this sensation comes and goes, and will affect a wide range of body areas off and on. It's nothing to be concerned with and will subside once the nervous system gets sufficient rest."

- http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms/

I think they are just symptoms as the others are, too. Since you are recovered again, you won't notice it anymore. Just a anxiety made Haunting. I have a numb feeling sometimes, but now i know its just cause the nervous system is stressed, what totally makes sense.
 
Your issues are not directly related to doing mdma that long ago. Maybe you just have general anxiety problems? I have periodic issues with anxiety and it's often worst when I first wake up in the morning. Like you said you had a few periods without these symptoms and from what you described it was during times when you were somewhere outside of your daily life and probably weren't over analyzing your symptoms and tripping yourself out as you do in your normal daily life.
 
It's all anxiety…. check out the book "at last a life." I am going through the same exact thing, as are millions of other people. Anxiety can be brought on in so many different ways and for us, it's the drugs that put us in a vunerable spot and now you're stuck in a cycle of anxiety, stuck inside your own head and its time to get out. Trust me! The more you try to fight it and figure out whats wrong, the worse you will feel…
 
For everyone concerned with MDMA "long time comedown"

I would suggest checking out the book, "at last a life." I, like some of you have been stuck in a an anxious state, filled with tons of very terrifying symptoms for the past 3 months after taking MDMA. The MDMA itself was amazing, but when I had a panic attack the following week, I had no idea what was going on and I attributed it all to the MDMA fucking up my brain.

The real reason we have these symptoms, is that we are stuck in a cycle of anxiety, constantly questioning how we feel and living inside our heads.

Give the book a good read, there is a free pdf online.. it has help me immensely since discovering it a few days ago..
 
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