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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support)

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Be interesting to poll some of this. I wonder how many people pondering this question are now on antidepressants and or benzos?
 
Hey guys . Just thought I check in and a give a positive "full recovered" message to this thread (that has been of great help for me too during my LTC).

I also suffered 4 months of whats been hell on earth after a 3 day binge on mdma (it prob wasnt mdma though as I didnt test it, but I was abusing for about 2.5 years so I do associate my LTC to my MDMA use)

About a month ago I opened this thread:
http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads...ng-term-mdma-comedown?p=12461015#post12461015

It has now been 3 months since I fully recovered and I havent still taken any drugs (apart from alcohol) since, eventhought I was playing with the idea as per the thread above. I have however come to a realization that this has been a life lesson for me (the worst I could have imagined) and I decided to learn from it by avoiding MDMA and the rest of the drugs. Peoples perceptions change and the time when mine towards drugs did just happened. I have learned theres more to life than just weekend binges, popping pills and snorting coke (thought I cant say I didnt have a good time back in the days ha)

I also have to say that the last bits of recovery were the longest lasting. It took me about 2.5 months if not more to go from "see the light at the end of the tunnel clearly" to feeling back to my old self again with no symptoms at all. I understand this might in some cases take longer but you will all recover eventually.Avoiding all drugs during this time is crucial.

I am happy again and enjoying life and I never would have thought this can happen while I was in that terrible state of mind.

All the best to all of you and see you at full recovery soon .
 
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Thanks for sharing that :) Good to hear that some get out of this after 4 month, cause Im in month three now and i have still very bad days. Gives me hope.
 
For real. It sort of angers me that I'm 17 months here. What can ya do?
 
@ TrulyBlessed87

Your Inbox is apparently full. I was unable to mail you part 2 of 2.

Please let me know when I can send it again, thanks.
 
pmz said:
What can ya do?
Click to expand...

Resume as normal a life as you can despite your symptoms. If you're not there cognitively, then you settle for the type of job you can handle. If you can't drink alcohol and get high, join some social photography/whatever hobby group, go to football games, start exercising, start walking/hiking in nature, start playing music etc. Just keep engaged. Would you kill yourself if you knew that you wouldn't recover further? If no, then start living your life and consider every bit of further recovery as winning the lottery.

(Not saying you won't recover completely, just stating a mindset that has been helpful for me)
 
Long Term Comdown and cigarettes

Hi there,

I have one question:
Anyone of you got through a LTC without stopping to smoke? I cannot drink alcohol anymore, can't smoke weed as i was used to do every day and now Im smoking much cigarettes. Maybe a pack a day. It gives me just a relaxed feeling, which is very pleasing through this crazy states of being. If I fell really bad, a cigarette helps to throttle my anxiety a bit.
How hindering can it be in my recovery when it gives me a good feeling in bad times?

Looking forward to answers :)
 
Deltronpedro said:
Hi there,

I have one question:
Anyone of you got through a LTC without stopping to smoke? I cannot drink alcohol anymore, can't smoke weed as i was used to do every day and now Im smoking much cigarettes. Maybe a pack a day. It gives me just a relaxed feeling, which is very pleasing through this crazy states of being. If I fell really bad, a cigarette helps to throttle my anxiety a bit.
How hindering can it be in my recovery when it gives me a good feeling in bad times?

Looking forward to answers :)
Click to expand...


Hey Deltronpedro.

The first 2.5 months into my LTC I could not even think of smoking. It would give me an instant fear of getting a panic attack so I avoided that (alongside with alcohol). I had my first cigarette at my friends wedding probably about 3 months into my LTC when I also had a few glasses of champagne. I eased up a bit and had a smoke. It didnt do me very well tbh, especially the next day and every time after that when I had a cigarette my symptoms would worsen. I realised I should not put toxins in my body while its healing. What I needed in times like these were nutritions - the healthiest lifestyle possible, and avoiding all drugs for a quicker recovery.

I waited until I was fully recovered and then I started smoking occasionaly again. Now I have one or two a day, some days not even that....but then again I was never a heavy smoker.

My suggestions is this: even if you feel they make you more calm , they probably do more harm then good. So I would cut down on the amount , preferably altogether until you feel back to normal. I also assume theyre not giving you a very good ease on your mind if youre asking about it here. Maybe it kind of bothers you that you smoke too much and are just looking for someone to tell you: yeah smoke as much as you want if it makes you feel better.

That is my advice and experience, but we are all different :)

Wish you all the best in your recovery !
 
Hey buddy,
Thanks for your quick and detailed answer. Yeah, maybe you're right. But Im also very affraid of quit smoking in my situation. Im affraid that this would still more worsen my mood :(
 
Deltronpedro said:
Hey buddy,
Thanks for your quick and detailed answer. Yeah, maybe you're right. But Im also very affraid of quit smoking in my situation. Im affraid that this would still more worsen my mood :(
Click to expand...


Don't be afraid to quit. In the long run it will just do you good I promise. To lift up your mood try to perhaps do some exercise, go for walks, do something that you know you really enjoyed doing before your LTC. Or perhaps do something you always wanted to do but never did. For me this was drumming. I started taking drumming classes which was always my dream but I was 'too busy' before my LTC with my everyday life.

Once I freed myself of the idea of smoking or drinking again (during my LTC) I felt much better. Rid yourself of these desires and you will feel more powerful (and calm, content) , which will lead to faster recovery. Dont let these things and thoughts overshadow your inner-self strength! Start with today and update on your progress. I will be very interested to see how you are doing in a few weeks time of total abstinence. GL !
 
Scaredfirsttimer, but what if the answer to your 'would you kill yourself if you couldn't recover further' question was yes? Not trying to be melodramatic, I'm trying to live my life as best i can but i can't see myself living the rest of my life like this. With all my symptoms, the notion of doing so horrifies me!

Edit: this is coming from someone who seems to have hit a brick wall recovery wise in the last month or two, and is seriously considering their options for the future. Having Dr/dp and feeling like this years down the line is not an option for me
 
I think what people fail to realize is that after a certain age our brain function simply deteriorates, drugs or no drugs; we're not getting any younger..
 
India111 said:
Scaredfirsttimer, but what if the answer to your 'would you kill yourself if you couldn't recover further' question was yes? Not trying to be melodramatic, I'm trying to live my life as best i can but i can't see myself living the rest of my life like this. With all my symptoms, the notion of doing so horrifies me!

Edit: this is coming from someone who seems to have hit a brick wall recovery wise in the last month or two, and is seriously considering their options for the future. Having Dr/dp and feeling like this years down the line is not an option for me
Click to expand...
Not feeling any better India? Month 4 isn't it?
 
Afraid not dude ): the first few weeks i made crazy improvement, then in the second month i made moderate improvement, and since then i haven't really improved at all /: it might be situational though, i very recently split up with my boyfriend, we only just moved house at home and on top of all that my contract at work is ending soon so I'm moving back home until I'm better, and our new house is way out in the sticks, which makes my depression way worse (I have been living in London which i love, but unfortunately i was only able to afford it because i was living rent free at my now ex boyfriends...).

Although i hate driving with dp/Dr i don't have a choice where i am now, so I'm just trying to get over the fear so I'm able to get myself into the city as much as i can. I'm hoping once I've joined some nearby social groups, started cbt and started meds (all of which i plan to do in the coming weeks) my recovery will kickstart again. I hope it will, because like i said right now there are a lot of external things stressing me out (the very messy breakup being number 1) and I'm basically living out of a suitcase, staying temporarily with people in London for my part time job then going home again every week.

Hopefully once my life has settled a bit more and I'm a bit more busy socially things will look up :) yeah just passed the four month mark, on month five of chronic dp/Dr and fatigue, and it sucks ass, but I'm trying to live as best i can
 
Does anyone else understand the constant stoned feeling in your head?
 
Deltronpedro said:
Hi there,

I have one question:
Anyone of you got through a LTC without stopping to smoke? I cannot drink alcohol anymore, can't smoke weed as i was used to do every day and now Im smoking much cigarettes. Maybe a pack a day. It gives me just a relaxed feeling, which is very pleasing through this crazy states of being. If I fell really bad, a cigarette helps to throttle my anxiety a bit.
How hindering can it be in my recovery when it gives me a good feeling in bad times?

Looking forward to answers :)
Click to expand...

ime smoking doesn't matter at all. in fact if it helps you with anxiety, then it's rather positive than negative.
 
India111 said:
Afraid not dude ): the first few weeks i made crazy improvement, then in the second month i made moderate improvement, and since then i haven't really improved at all /: it might be situational though, i very recently split up with my boyfriend, we only just moved house at home and on top of all that my contract at work is ending soon so I'm moving back home until I'm better, and our new house is way out in the sticks, which makes my depression way worse (I have been living in London which i love, but unfortunately i was only able to afford it because i was living rent free at my now ex boyfriends...).

Although i hate driving with dp/Dr i don't have a choice where i am now, so I'm just trying to get over the fear so I'm able to get myself into the city as much as i can. I'm hoping once I've joined some nearby social groups, started cbt and started meds (all of which i plan to do in the coming weeks) my recovery will kickstart again. I hope it will, because like i said right now there are a lot of external things stressing me out (the very messy breakup being number 1) and I'm basically living out of a suitcase, staying temporarily with people in London for my part time job then going home again every week.

Hopefully once my life has settled a bit more and I'm a bit more busy socially things will look up :) yeah just passed the four month mark, on month five of chronic dp/Dr and fatigue, and it sucks ass, but I'm trying to live as best i can
Click to expand...
You sound like me! My life is sucking in a million different ways in terms of love and money too. It's really pulling me back. But like you said it's situational. I'd personally wait till the situation gets better but obviously do what you think is necessary! Went London last week. So awesome (live in Cornwall and have only been once before:()

pmz said:
Does anyone else understand the constant stoned feeling in your head?
Click to expand...
Not stoned, but drift off quite often. Doesn't bother me too much though, like with everything else, the more I ignore it the better it gets.

You should probably stop thinking about it all pmz!
 
Black said:
ime smoking doesn't matter at all. in fact if it helps you with anxiety, then it's rather positive than negative.
Click to expand...

Perhaps psychologically, but the carcinogenic and general CV effects certainly aren't positive...
 
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