This thread is hilarious, I opened it up thinking I've never really had a bad sex experience.. Then memories started to come to me. I'll try to do this in chronological order.
-I was really young, like 15 and when I was young I was really overweight. Like 250lbs (I'm about 170 now).. Anyways, my friend in college (I was 15 and a freshman, skipped a few years) introduces me to this huge chick. I was still a virgin with little experience so I was like whatever. We go back to her place and start messing around. She starts to undress and i catch a whiff of the worst thing I've ever smelled in my life. I suggested we hop in the shower. I could barely fit in the tub with her, I tried to smoothly clean her but I couldn't get my hand in due to all the fat. And I was holding my breath. Faked an emergency and got the hell out of there.
-I'm much older now, like 22 and I was in Egypt. Had an e90 3 series BMW that was tinted black 5% all the way around and 35% on the windshield.. So it was like a portable bed room. Anyways I have this chick with me and were driving around, I start to feel her up and we both get horny and I pull over. She tells me she has her period and I was pretty drunk so I was like whatever. We start fucking in the backseat. We finish and I am getting dressed.. The back seat looked like I had just slaughtered a baby lamb. Luckily I had leather cleaner and conditioner in the trunk.
-again in Egypt my boy calls me up asks if I have any tramadol cuz he has this hooker and stuff. Invites me to go with him but I wasn't into paying for sex so I said I'll just tag along and have a few drinks. We goth this apartment and each take some tramadol and start drinking. He takes the girl to a room and 10mins later they come back looking disappointed. I'm like 'what happened' and he's like man I can't get it up from the trama. I was like ooh I don't have that problem, the girl is all like ooh really? Kinda turned me on so I was like yeah hun I'll prove it. We go into the room and i get hard and we start fucking.. I start to lose my erection from all the alcohol and trama. We go back to the living room and have that same disappointed look lol.
-and finally, my worst experience ever was in Harare, Zimbabwe.. I was there for work and me and a coworker are drinking in the hotel bar.. He sees this local black chick sitting at the bar and was like ima call her over. I'm like alright bro that's all you, I'm not into hookers. He's like yeah I'm just gonna have her give me a massage (claiming he's not into premarital sex). So she comes over we all drink and joke around.. Dance, take a few pics, etc etc then we all go upstairs to our rooms. He takes her, we say our good byes and I thought that was that. So I'm in my room in my boxers watching tv about to fall asleep and I hear a knock on the door. I open up and it's my boy with the chick, and he's like dude she wants to fuck and I can't do that. So I was like whatever, I had never slept with a black chick and it was on my bucket list and she wasn't that bad. He leaves and we immediately get into it. We undress, I put on the condom and go at it. Slowly but surely I start to smell a combination of lotion and sweat and it was fucking nasty. I get soft and the condom falls off and I pull out. She keeps trying to pull me towards her and put it in and I'm pulling back. Kindve a struggle. Then she realizes the condom fell off (I didn't put it in again) but she starts going on about I fucked her without a condom.. I'm like nah I didn't and you need to leave. Then she's likes alright you need to give me 200 dollars. I'm like hell no, we didn't even agree to that. She starts insisting and I'm like I gonna call security and run for the phone. She runs after me and pushes me away. I run into the bathroom and lock the door and call security. Security shows up and say that they're going to call the police. I'm like go ahead. She starts to freak out and saying no. I give her 20 dollars and tell her to leave. She does. 10 mins later I goto the lobby to smoke a cig, she's there and tries to hug me and say bye and shit. I just pushed her away. That was the worst experience ever. In fucking Zimbabwe.
