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Why do we dope fiends shower so rarely?

I have a hard enough time kicking at home. If it wasn't for rls it be easier
 
Jennn said:
I can't imagine kicking in jail
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I kicked in the psych ward which was worse then jail for me as i got my meds when i was in jail. I have only been to jail mind you not prison. I came off 150mg's of morphine in the psych ward cold turkey tht was fucking hell.
 
Jennn said:
I can't imagine kicking in jail
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It's a whole new type of hell, lol, but at the same time it's.... I dunno, I wouldn't say it's not as bad, it's just a different kind of bad when you know you have no chance of making bail, no chance of making a hustle to get well like is possible on the streets. Still miserable, but there's a certain accompanying peace that comes with knowing you HAVE TO. And back then there was no MAT in jail.

Did it that way many times over, kicking different opioids in jail. I'll take 5 to 7 days of acute heroin withdrawal any day please over 17 days of cold turkey, totally sober bupe insomnia.
 
I have a friend who's a jail guard here, she said theres more dope inside then out. I took a piece of sub last night to get a little pain relief and some sleep and it makes me feel yucky. Get my script tomorrow thankfully and gonna try not to take a weeks worth in 2 days
 
Jennn said:
I have a friend who's a jail guard here, she said theres more dope inside then out. I took a piece of sub last night to get a little pain relief and some sleep and it makes me feel yucky. Get my script tomorrow thankfully and gonna try not to take a weeks worth in 2 days
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This was like 10-15 years ago and in county jail, but yeah prisons are flooded these days with synthetic cannabinoids, suboxone and ice. It could get pretty fucked, imagine the situations that pop off between a couple murderers who have been fenced in for 20 years and start staying up 5 or 6 days at a time shooting meth and smoking am-2201.
 
I spent 30 days in jail here and this was at the beginning of my dope habit so didn't get sick but my cell mate had meth and when she said i was trying it i didn't think i'd have a choice lol. I didn't though but her and a few others were up for days and obviously the guards knew cause we all got locked down. I don't like meth, i'm to fiendish with it and never want to stop. So i did the pysch ward after 5 days and never touched it again
 
I never really experienced the downward spiral of meth, more of a free fall. I got scared away for some years after a bad interaction (crank and pcp) and when I started dabbling again I accidentally learned how to make my own almost immediately. The demon reaches a whole new level of depravity when you literally have a bottomless bag of high power speed.
 
Its such an odd thing for me. I love nice hot showers, its the getting out into a freezing house/room I hate. In the summer I shower like every couple of days or if the mood strikes, but in the late fall/winter i will only shower when i absolutely have to. I feel like its an outward reflection of my inward self. When i shower i feel clean and generally on par with everyone else and more responsible and motivated, when i dont i dont necessarily feel dirty but i dont feel "Like them". Not necessarily dirty but unkempt like my emotions and brain feel.
 
Now you I want to reread Junky, but searching through my somewhat large book collection is driving me insane. I did remember the lack of bathing but not the explanation. I guess the differing accounts of Jane Vollmer's death weren't asked. I accept his reason why, he said cats hate water. Do junkies lick themselves clean, just kidding. I always assumed laziness, but opiates can very often give energy and cause insomnia. I will say this he changed his opinion or statements more than once, but the heroin causing people to not like water on the skin, that I accept.
 
RustyCrackleford said:
Its such an odd thing for me. I love nice hot showers, its the getting out into a freezing house/room I hate. In the summer I shower like every couple of days or if the mood strikes, but in the late fall/winter i will only shower when i absolutely have to. I feel like its an outward reflection of my inward self. When i shower i feel clean and generally on par with everyone else and more responsible and motivated, when i dont i dont necessarily feel dirty but i dont feel "Like them". Not necessarily dirty but unkempt like my emotions and brain feel.
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The last part I totally understand. I have bad sleep patterns and sometimes I have to run an errand at like 4 something in the afternoon and not enough time to shower. Even with clean clothes on, brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant, I still fell like you said unkempt.
 
I had a friend I used with who was a long time heroin addict and he told me it was the feeling of water on the skin that junkies don't like and that's why he didn't shower. For me my heroin addiction never affected my showering, I still showered about once a day so I don't really get it. I definitely didn't like the feeling of water on my skin when I was in withdrawal, but even in withdrawal a hot shower would help combat that feeling of inner cold you get so overall I felt the benefit outweighed the uncomfortability and I continued to shower.
 
When I'm in withdrawal or near withdrawal from anything (but especially alcohol, benzos, or opioids) I can't shower for two reasons:
1. I'm shaky, unsteady, and very much at risk of falling.
2. I find the blast of cold air getting out of the shower to be intolerable.

Otherwise, my showering habits are unchanged-- unless I'm really down&out and don't care about anything at all.
Fortunately, that's rare.
 
jasperkent said:
I've done it and it's the closest thing to Hell that I've ever experienced.
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I can just imagine. Bad enough you're sick but then you have bad jail guards and people on edge making anxiety 100x worse
 
paranoid android said:
The dirtiest motherfucker i have ever seen was a guy who didnt use anything. He was a ex coke head but it had been like a decade since he had used it. He was a room mate of my ex gf and me and not only did he not shower but he had 3 cats and only used 1 litterbox which he cleaned every 2 weeks. Honestly just thinking about that now makes me wanna puke
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I don't know how some people can live like that, especially with dirty litter boxes. That smell alone is bad enough
 
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