Random Why did you want or don't want kids?

[Foreigner]

I can see that, especially if no other contraception is involved.
but my friends when I was in my late teens who got pregnant while taking the pill daily - I mean, they really thought contraceptive pill was enough. normally it is, but in that instance.
another one I know where they went on the pill after having two kids already and got pregnant with a third, after which the guy got himself a vasectomy for extra protection. That couple were pretty fertile...

The thing not yet mentioned is sex is not always done with consent. Pregnancy is not always the result of consent between two informed adults. also know someone recently in my friendship group who ended up with a baby after rape, and she went ahead with it for various reasons, even though she had PTSD from the event. So... it's complex, hopefully most of us can agree on that.

I agree with you that these things happen, I'm just saying that they are a small % of accidental pregnancies. The pill doesn't usually fail, pregnancy from rape is not super common (but does happen). However, the pill is not protection from STIs so not making the guy use a condom is folly.

I just think people get lazy about this stuff when they are horny and they like the pleasure of barebacking. That is what drives most so-called "accidental" pregnancies. I've heard so many ridiculous stories about these "accidents"... that upon hearing them, it's so easy to poke holes in the logic. (I don't, but I could.)

People's sexual personas are often completely different than their social personas. Their social side may seem totally reasonable and convincing... like yeah, this person is smart, I really doubt they did something stupid that made them get pregnant. But sexually, they could be dumb dumb, and often they are. That's why I don't buy all these convenient stories about how some crazy accident happened that they got pregnant. If someone really, really, really doesn't want to get pregnant, then the vast majority of the time they can avoid it. How hard are they really trying, is the question?

On some level they usually want to get pregnant, or the act of barebacking is sexy because their body tells them it's sexy and good, and then oops they're pregnant. People don't have control over their base natures and that is the central problem.

 

[Dreamflyer]

I've never wanted kids for two reasons: One selfish and one thoughtful.

1) My whole childhood growing up, every time that my dad got drunk (which was pretty much every night), he told me how much I ruined his life by being born. His words exactly were, "Whatever you do, don't go getting a girl pregnant because you'll regret it forever."!

2) Between personally and financially, I never felt that I would be able to provide for a child the way that they would deserve me to. I've spent half of my life broke, drug-addicted and struggling with bipolar depression/anxiety/OCD/etc.

 

[woamotive]

I am 38 (f) and do not have children.

My ex gf had a baby boy while I was with her and we had him for 3.5 years before Cps took him. It was really painful. He has since been adopted.

Drugs.

Besides that, I’ve never wanted to have children. Only recently have I begun thinking or rather - wondering, what it would be like for me to have my own. However, I am in no position to do so financially. I’ve quit the drugs but they took so many years from me, plus my felon status…. It’s been hard to accumulate funds. It would be irresponsible.

I love kids and consider myself very nurturing. We can be a parent/caregiver without birthing, is what I’ve found.

 

[crazyhairman]

Im just now baseline functioning/responsible. That ship has sailed hon

 

[4meSM]

I'm looking forward to having a son someday, gotta keep my paternal genetic lineage alive. None of my paternal uncles had kids, and my father had a daughter early on, but didn't have me until he was almost 60 years old. Even though he was old he was still pretty fit for his age, so I still had a strong father figure in my life. He was a bit off the wall, the artistic type, but I turned out mostly okay.

So yeah my Y chromosome isn't going to die with me after millions of years of success (hopefully). Plus I think I'd be a pretty good father and have a lot of knowledge to pass on.

I know having kids is a huge commitment, but that's just how life is, it has never been easy, plus easy is boring.

 

[porkstock]

looking forward to having a son someday

That's a good way to end up with a few daughters

 

[4meSM]

That's a good way to end up with a few daughters

It's kinda funny because I have 3 nephews and 0 nieces. We'll see what ends up happening in a couple of years.

 

[yubacity]

Wanted to have kids so icould be a father and to have a fam,ily with my wife . Im soft as fuck with my kids I want them to enjoy the best years as kids and to prove I'm not my old man show love to them . I look at my 4 kids and think how could he beat the shit out of us . Me and my brothers had it bad got our addictions but we great dads

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I'm looking forward to having a son someday, gotta keep my paternal genetic lineage alive. None of my paternal uncles had kids, and my father had a daughter early on, but didn't have me until he was almost 60 years old. Even though he was old he was still pretty fit for his age, so I still had a strong father figure in my life. He was a bit off the wall, the artistic type, but I turned out mostly okay.

So yeah my Y chromosome isn't going to die with me after millions of years of success (hopefully). Plus I think I'd be a pretty good father and have a lot of knowledge to pass on.

I know having kids is a huge commitment, but that's just how life is, it has never been easy, plus easy is boring.

if/when you do have a kid, I'm 99.9% sure you won't give a shit what sex it is

daughters are awesome mate trust me (I've got both, son's are cool too!)

 

[yubacity]

if/when you do have a kid, I'm 99.9% sure you won't give a shit what sex it is

daughters are awesome mate trust me (I've got both, son's are cool too!)

We never found out the sex of our kids all we wanted was them to be healthy . I wasold school let my wife sister and mom help her while I waited in waiting room . When you first hold you child its like a love like no other . In my mind I promised each of my kids I will always be there for them and they never be scared of me . With my daughters I'm so soft with them with my son I'm a bit old school today I was teaching him how to use a hammer he can do a oil change . And told him to go incognito his mom saw his search history . Told her it normal for a 13 year old in my teens it was swapping dirty magazines and find pages stuck together . Me and my friend sat through joy luck club hoping to see tits and who can forget jamie lee curtis in trading places

 

[yubacity]

if/when you do have a kid, I'm 99.9% sure you won't give a shit what sex it is

daughters are awesome mate trust me (I've got both, son's are cool too!)

I have 3 daughters my eldest is 16 and has a boyfriend its killing me that's my baby girl

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I have 3 daughters my eldest is 16 and has a boyfriend its killing me that's my baby girl

yeah - that can definitely be the challenging part of having a daughter! (almost inevitable though)

gotta let' em live their life when it comes down to it - otherwise they'll just leave and do it anyway

I know what you mean though, I was out with my girl (early 20's) and her (really sound) boyfriend recently , and still found myself occasionally thinking "getcha fkin hands off my daughter ya cunt" haha

 

[yubacity]

yeah - that can definitely be the challenging part of having a daughter! (almost inevitable though)

gotta let' em live their life when it comes down to it - otherwise they'll just leave and do it anyway

I know what you mean though, I was out with my girl (early 20's) and her (really sound) boyfriend recently , and still found myself occasionally thinking "getcha fkin hands off my daughter ya cunt" haha

Im all nice when he comes down but he has caught me giving him dirty looks

 

[The Shadow Self]

I have children and for whatever it's worth, becoming a Father has contributed to me becoming a much better human being. A better husband, son, brother, neighbor, friend, etc. Seeing my children healthy, functional, happy and just generally good people is what I value, and it's been the most satisfying endeavor of my life.

Life is hard, of course, and I know the world is a pretty fucked up place currently, but preparing my kids to be equipped to manage adversity and try their best to rise above the noise has been a very important aspect of my role as a Dad, and when you see them becoming good, kind, reasonable and understanding human beings, it lets you know that it all begins at home, as cliche' as that sounds. I always felt strongly that as a father, there were many important things that only I and their mother could and should teach them, and that should never be left to others, of course. I also happen to be a therapist that has worked with children (and adults) for over 30 years, and that certainly didn't hurt in terms of becoming the best Father I could be, which I continue to work at each day. So, it's a lot of work, but for me, work worth doing, despite what some might say. My life is pretty good, and having a family of generally healthy and adaptable people certainly hasn't hurt. Anyway, for what it's worth...

 

[kiely]

I have children and for whatever it's worth, becoming a Father has contributed to me becoming a much better human being. A better husband, son, brother, neighbor, friend, etc. Seeing my children healthy, functional, happy and just generally good people is what I value, and it's been the most satisfying endeavor of my life.

Life is hard, of course, and I know the world is a pretty fucked up place currently, but preparing my kids to be equipped to manage adversity and try their best to rise above the noise has been a very important aspect of my role as a Dad, and when you see them becoming good, kind, reasonable and understanding human beings, it lets you know that it all begins at home, as cliche' as that sounds. I always felt strongly that as a father, there were many important things that only I and their mother could and should teach them, and that should never be left to others, of course. I also happen to be a therapist that has worked with children (and adults) for over 30 years, and that certainly didn't hurt in terms of becoming the best Father I could be, which I continue to work at each day. So, it's a lot of work, but for me, work worth doing, despite what some might say. My life is pretty good, and having a family of generally healthy and adaptable people certainly hasn't hurt. Anyway, for what it's worth...

That is so kind . . . in such a healthy way.

Thank you for writing that for everyone. So nice !!

And thank you for your time.

 

[The Shadow Self]

Thanks!

 

[Neuroprotection]

I made a thread similar to this on another forum but I’ll contribute to this one as well. I truly don’t want kids, like some others said here, I can hardly take care of myself let alone a child. On top of this, I’m extremely lazy and I absolutely hate every type of responsibility and always try to avoid responsibility whenever I can. I hate committing to anything especially if it’s long-term and requires effort and I’m suspecting, I might have symptoms of ADD as well. I hate doing any type of work, but I’m hoping the childfree life will give me the time to recover each day and develop a healthy work life balance. I should also add that I find it impossible to discipline children, my little siblings, as well as nephews and nieces, never listen to me. to add to this, I probably have some trauma from having a brother with anger problems and the constant risk that an argument/Fight will break out when he’s around. i’ve also seen The toll having 8 kids and two grandkids has taken on my mother and father and I don’t want it for myself.
I’d rather have a good work life balance with free time after work, ability to save and spend money on myself, lots of free time during holidays, and to live a careless lifestyle full of late nights chilling out.

Unfortunately, in my culture, having kids seems to be the main goal of life and everyone seems to be into it. people try to convince you that not having kids is morally or ethically wrong or that you will regret it in some way, but frankly, I couldn’t care less and it’s a load of rubbish.

 

[sigmond]

I never met a woman who liked me enough to consider having children. I used to be undecided about having children but now I am 100% against having them for various reasons; I might not live long enough to raise them. I do not make enough money to give them a privileged, comfortable, secure, life. Also, I fear life might not be worth living and I wouldn’t want to force anyone to suffer.

However, If I hit the lottery I would reconsider having children because at least I could give them a chance at living a good life.

 

[JahBeeuS]

I don't want to have kids. I know this because I had kids.
I'm jk I love them to pieces and there's only so many hedonistic pleasures to accrue in one's lifetime of freedom from spawn.

 

[MedicinalUser247]

Well, for me, I want to have kids, but there a big responsibility. You got to think about that. What I'm looking for is a wife. I want to get married and finally get settled down. Right now I own a house and some property. So, I'm looking for a women, but I have to be careful who I meet.