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Random Why did you want or don't want kids?

I'm not sure if this point is relevant but I think it's worth pointing out.

I grew up in a smallish boring, dull city where everyone goes to school, gets a job or goes to uni has a girlfriend, gets married and has 2 kids and a mortgage.
It's just the culture and the norm.
I can see why people get married and settle down their and have kids.
I wanted to do it too.

Then I moved to big vibrant city where shit happens and my whole mind set changed.
Way too much fun, way too many options, way too much cool stuff to do, way different mindsets and cultures and people from all over and my whole mindset changed -why the fuck would I ever want to get married live a boring suburb with white picket fence and screaming kids .

So I'm sure environmental factors play a part.

Everyones different though. You have to do what's right for you. I'm sure some people do the whole marriage thing because 'it's what u do'

Who knows I may be missing out on a beautiful experience in our one life.

But I'm over it now.

I give no fucks about 'growing old alone'

Born alone, die alone.
 
I gave hedonism a pretty good shot, but in the end I always got pulled back to relationships. Since an early age, before I even realized it was there, something was driving me to become a father. Maybe it's because I have such a good relationship with my parents, who are adventurous people who lived exciting lives before my siblings and I were born, and who undoubtedly believe they made the right choice by having children. Now that I have a son, all the drug stuff for which I used to have painful and constant nostalgia has faded far into the background. This feels like where I was meant to end up. And what else was all the education and hard work for? On my own, I could provide for my wants and needs with a minimum wage job and not feel like I lacked anything substantial. I never liked school, and there's no doubt that, had I not had the idea of a family motivating me, I wouldn't have stuck to it nearly as long as I did.
 
S.J.B. said:
I gave hedonism a pretty good shot, but in the end I always got pulled back to relationships. Since an early age, before I even realized it was there, something was driving me to become a father. Maybe it's because I have such a good relationship with my parents, who are adventurous people who lived exciting lives before my siblings and I were born, and who undoubtedly believe they made the right choice by having children. Now that I have a son, all the drug stuff for which I used to have painful and constant nostalgia has faded far into the background. This feels like where I was meant to end up. And what else was all the education and hard work for? On my own, I could provide for my wants and needs with a minimum wage job and not feel like I lacked anything substantial. I never liked school, and there's no doubt that, had I not had the idea of a family motivating me, I wouldn't have stuck to it nearly as long as I did.
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Very interesting. I was born in a large family and all though we all love each other, the stress of constant sibling arguments especially constantly worrying about the next fight that will break out between the rest of my family and brother who has some sort of undiagnosed autism/anger issues has really made me doubt whether I ever want to become a father. on top of this, my scatterbrained mind, high anxiety levels,, hatred of responsibility and extreme procrastination have made me realise it’s not for me. I think that’s why I struggle so much to even vaguely plan for my future, I just constantly worry about tomorrow and simultaneously regret or panic about some past events whilst having extreme nostalgia for others. to be honest, people have always pushed me to be a higher achiever, but in reality I now realise I’ve always been a very hedonistic person at heart. I would be happy with a relatively comfortable simple job, as long as it paid well enough for me to have the basic necessities, good food, and a computer/technology to pursue my hobby of reading about neuroscience. I would want a wife both for sexual relations and personal companionship I have a strong avertion to the idea of having kids and responsibility that come with them.

Nevertheless, I really do respect and admire men like you and women who choose to become parents and are ready to give everything for their children’s development. I hope it works out well for you and something you can take pride in for the rest of your life.
 
While I absolutely love my niece (who is now 6), I definitely do NOT want kids and never have. Main reasons being:
1) Humans are a cancer on the Earth, destroying all other animal life, plant life and the planet itself. We should be allowed to die out as a species
2) Life is fucking horrible and I think it's both selfish and cruel to bring a child into this
3) I can't even take care of myself
4) I'd be terrified in case they ended up anything like me
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
While I absolutely love my niece (who is now 6), I definitely do NOT want kids and never have. Main reasons being:
1) Humans are a cancer on the Earth, destroying all other animal life, plant life and the planet itself. We should be allowed to die out as a species
2) Life is fucking horrible and I think it's both selfish and cruel to bring a child into this
3) I can't even take care of myself
4) I'd be terrified in case they ended up anything like me
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Yea, you shouldn't have kids.
 
ChemicallyEnhanced said:
While I absolutely love my niece (who is now 6), I definitely do NOT want kids and never have. Main reasons being:
1) Humans are a cancer on the Earth, destroying all other animal life, plant life and the planet itself. We should be allowed to die out as a species
2) Life is fucking horrible and I think it's both selfish and cruel to bring a child into this
3) I can't even take care of myself
4) I'd be terrified in case they ended up anything like me
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Not being able to take care of yourself, I definitely know that feeling and that’s exactly why I don’t want kids. i’m 29 and still feel, like a kid. i’ve never been able to plan my future beyond tomorrow and I’m super emotional and hedonistic. how could I ever take responsibility for another human being?
 
just read and listen to so many anecdotes, articles and videos about why people choose to live child free. A very common theme was society’s subtle, but clearly obvious disapproval of their choice. although it’s mostly political/social conservatives Who disapprove of the childfree lifestyle, I feel the reason they do so now has less to do with religion or the status of women/family values. instead, Their problem is with the fact that going childfree is opting out of a huge long-term responsibility. I wouldn’t be surprised if a little jealousy/envy was involved in some cases.
 
Never wanted kids in the past. Didn’t want anything stopping me from running amok and wildin’ out in the streets lol. It wasn’t until August 2022 finding out I was pregnant that changed everything for me. Got completely sober for the first time since I was a teenager. I was still super scared though. I always thought I would fuck it up bc I’m so damaged. I worried about my daughter going through the same trauma as I did, due to some fucked up karmic bullshit. On April 9, 2023 I saw my daughter’s face for the first time and I can honestly say I have never felt so alive. I no longer creep through shadows like a ghost fiending for my next high. I maneuver through each day with purpose and my head held high. Never woulda thought.. she was the missing piece I needed all along 🥰
 
SoCalShordie said:
Never wanted kids in the past. Didn’t want anything stopping me from running amok and wildin’ out in the streets lol. It wasn’t until August 2022 finding out I was pregnant that changed everything for me. Got completely sober for the first time since I was a teenager. I was still super scared though. I always thought I would fuck it up bc I’m so damaged. I worried about my daughter going through the same trauma as I did, due to some fucked up karmic bullshit. On April 9, 2023 I saw my daughter’s face for the first time and I can honestly say I have never felt so alive. I no longer creep through shadows like a ghost fiending for my next high. I maneuver through each day with purpose and my head held high. Never woulda thought.. she was the missing piece I needed all along 🥰
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Purpose.
 
garygroundwork said:
Purpose.
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Yes, you’re right purpose, often makes all the difference but I think there’s also an interesting relationship between past experiences and how strong that sense of purpose is. I think for me, not wanting children is largely a desire to escape the responsibility/sense of purpose that comes with it. I suspect growing up in a large family as a blind introvert who’s always struggled with taking responsibility for anything has partly contributed. I think this might be common in people who felt they were forced to grow up too quickly, they often wish to live freely in the rest of their adult life and I can definitely relate to that.
 
Ya know I always wanted one but kinda glad now that it never happened.
Many reasons but mostly the disconnect I think.
 
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