Nothing lasts forever, especially good things and I expect its down to cunts like me that have turned what was once a utopia of free expression into the last thing a can aspire to treat as a serious website. But unfortunately for EADD Its also the only forum that attracts the sort of characters I identify with, as although I am by no means anti American I have never got my head around people that spend hours discussing specific recepies of health supplements for pre or post loading during the month before and after you take half a pill. I know that their should be a focus on HR but it doesn't mean that the site is a health farm for people who still take drugs that are inherently bad for your health, to a lesser or greater extent. Whether this is actually a fact or not, I have read quotes from third parties that describe BlueLight as the biggest drug discussion forum on the web, so that its now grown well beyond the long time posters (I may have ony been posting on here for 5 minutes but since 2004 I ave used the site as my man source of drug information, as despite the value of Erowid, the content on here paints the most accurate and up to date drug trends, the newest drugs on the 'street' (although I'm probably the last person who frequents that most traditional of marketplaces as I can't even contribute to heroin tread anymore, as aside from the fact that Iam making the last concerted effort I will be capable if making to disengage with the stuff, since 2010 I was happy enough to find actual heroin so as long as its the real deal, the market will never recover to pre 2010 standards, and I'm just happy to be able to go out knowing that I will more than likely return with something that works, and the dicksizing about the no 4 hydrochloride products that the 'pros' get off the darknet is above my station, for someone who has nevr used anything but brown heroin base from the GC. When a junkie has no place or reason to be in the heroin thread that actually started me posting, its time to assess what I can actually bring to EADD at this stage. I regret the trouble I caused yesterday by suggesting that the BLUA is something that people should consider taking a little more seriously, not just to keep the site from attracting criticism from other interet users and thse who are fanatically anti drug use, but to prevent threads from getting closed when they get to close and did eventually go over the mark regarding a subject that Bluelight does not see itself as an tool for enabling that sort of practise, It's because I hate it when the mods have to issue infractions or close threads, and despite being done in what I belive was in the best sprit of intent, I made such a pigs ear of it that it obviously pissed off the member so much that what ever straw broke the camels bak, it was my attempt at preventing an infraction that was the root cause of one being issued, so although I can't help it when someone returns to the board after a long absence to find the forum different, either I stick to my guns and remain consistent regarding my posts as a member, or I have to consider moving on which is difficult when there is nowhere else to go.
In the last year I have stuck my neck out as far as I can as this is the only context in which I can wth total honesty. Although most oeople have a life, there a coulple of us that don't at present, which makes this place somewhat of a sanctuary, but although I can hardy expect to be tolerated by everyone, it often feels like I am an alien in what is already an alternative society.All I can do is continue to try and develop what I aspire to be the most balanced approach possible and if I take the sites remit too seriously when I I'm told I shouldn't give a shit about the place as providing a valuable resource and treat it as a a free for all that is of no real consequence, I have to plant my flag somewhere as although I binge on the site a few times a week, I don't live on here from dawn until dusk (in fact dawn and dusk are the only times when I have the oeace and quiet to compose what I try make posts that have some prior consideration) and while I cant expect to be particulary liked, I can live with that as long as I don't make enemies, as there are enough forums (both physical and online) where I can do that.
Ive done enough damage for one week so ill give everyone a rest for a few days while I relect on further ways to bring something to the place, but while Its a personal problem that to anyone else seems to think I blow these issues out of proportion, its these issues that I consider first and always have done (despite the odd episode of infantile behaviour) as I have beneftted from the comtent om this site more than you can imagine and its frustrating when you can't offer anything in return.
Ok that's the self pity purged until next week now, so stay tuned for the next episode of 'Woe is me',as Netflicks weren't interested.
When you fuck up being a fuck up,it makes yoi feel like you have fucuked up big time.
Fin
