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TDS The TDS grief/bereavement thread

^That's the best thing you can do. I'm sure those 5 people and many others would smile if they knew you were doing that as well. <3
 
Today was the sixth anniversary of when my dad passed. It bothers me because we weren't real close, especially the last few years since he married his third weirdo wife. I'm missing my mom too, she passed just over two years ago. I carry so much guilty feelings it does a mindfuck on my head. If it weren't for my stepdad, I'd be homeless for sure.
 
I think it is so hard to deal with the death f someone you had problems with. The door slams shut and there are no more opportunities for reconciliation, or even just to express your feelings. Were you close to your mom?

Work on those feelings of guilt. You wouldn't want your son to carry them and I know your parents would tell you the same from their end. It's hard, it doesn't happen overnight but it is a worthy endeavor.<3
 
T. Calderone said:
Today was the sixth anniversary of when my dad passed. It bothers me because we weren't real close, especially the last few years since he married his third weirdo wife. I'm missing my mom too, she passed just over two years ago. I carry so much guilty feelings it does a mindfuck on my head. If it weren't for my stepdad, I'd be homeless for sure.
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Awh ((((TC)))) so very sorry for all your losses xxxx
 
T. Calderone said:
Today was the sixth anniversary of when my dad passed. It bothers me because we weren't real close, especially the last few years since he married his third weirdo wife. I'm missing my mom too, she passed just over two years ago. I carry so much guilty feelings it does a mindfuck on my head. If it weren't for my stepdad, I'd be homeless for sure.
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TC<3

I'm not close to my father, and I fear that when he passes I'll be feeling these feelings of guilt. I already let it eat myself up. I just find it hard to be close to men in general. When my mom passes I'll be an absolute wreck. She's my best friend. So, I feel for you. I'm very empathetic toward what you're feeling. It doesn't take the hurt away, but know you're not alone. ((hugs))
 
I'm new to bluelight but I have read most of this thread. I'm particularly inspired by you herbavore. I lost my younger son Ben ( my beautiful, intelligent and creative boy ) on the 12th Jan very suddenly. He was 13 days off turning 20. We found him dead in his room. My husband and I are shattered and life at the moment is a haze of pain/denial and lots of tears. You have given me hope that somehow we will come through this.
 
Oh, happydaysareover, I am so so sorry. No one can know the extent of the pain of losing a child unless they have. I am going to send you a more private message.
 
Hi herby, thank you for you pm. I've sent you a rather lengthy email. I'm feeling rather disconnected at the moment but it has enabled me to write things down. Hope you don't mind hearing my tale.
 
It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I think today I finally realized that in the fullest sense of how it applies to my life. I am allowing myself to grieve over lost love and I'm really glad I'm letting myself do that now.

Much <3 to everyone else grieving out there.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I think today I finally realized that in the fullest sense of how it applies to my life. I am allowing myself to grieve over lost love and I'm really glad I'm letting myself do that now.

Much <3 to everyone else grieving out there.
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You are so right. It's only been 5 weeks since I lost my son. It's the most awful and painful experience of my life. Having him and knowing him however was the most wonderful experience of my life.
 
^Sometimes I visualize carrying each of these truths with me at the same time--one in each hand, the deep pain and the deep gratitude both.
 
I cry every time I get triggered back to thoughts of the good days.

I was doing so well.

I guess these thoughts coming back up is a good sign - all the stuff I wasn't processing from being on buprenorphine.

Sometimes I fear I will never be happy again. I might never feel that same connection. Why am I still here ?
 
I can't seem to move past the moment of the loss of my son. I keep on playing it through in my head like a video as if somehow I can change something or hold onto him. I don't want time to pass because it feels as though I'm leaving him behind. My head tells me it makes no sense but my heart just wants him back. Inbetween I feel dazed like it's all happening to someone else. That it can't possibly be my son who is gone. I feel for everyone out there who is going through this pain and suffering.
 
((((Happydaysover)))) I'm so deeply sorry for the loss of your son. I don't think there are any words I can say so I'm sending a virtual hug n my thiughts are with you xxxx
 
I am having an easier time today.

Maybe it's going to keep getting easier. If it doesn't, I'll still keep trying.
 
Ahhh man where do I start...

Uncle John every time I think about you I play "the who, behind blue eyes" You will never be forgotten Hun. It was a true waste what that man took from you, you truly where an amazing man and had so much to give to this world. I wish I still had you here with me. My mom thinks about you daily, wow how the time has passed and the memories will never fade. I hope your looking after me and guiding me through the tuff times.

Much love.
 
gr33n3y3z said:
Ahhh man where do I start...

Uncle John every time I think about you I play "the who, behind blue eyes" You will never be forgotten Hun. It was a true waste what that man took from you, you truly where an amazing man and had so much to give to this world. I wish I still had you here with me. My mom thinks about you daily, wow how the time has passed and the memories will never fade. I hope your looking after me and guiding me through the tuff times.

Much love.
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Aw greeny <3

Well I think I have posted so much about how I hated my boss so I will just leave it at that lol
 
I'm letting myself cry and grieve. It's painful but I'm blessed to be allowing myself to go through this pain. <3
 
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