It's cool. I've been on amphetamines, quit them completely about a month ago or so. Used to be dependent on weed also, slowed down gradually over a year and haven't smoked at all in about a month. I have an Rx for norcos I didn't take for about a month... that is until I took my dog to the pound because I didn't have a place to stay or a way to buy her food.
It's fucked though because my ex of nearly 5 years left me a couple months ago.. Maybe it's situational depression + PAWS? Damn this shit sucks.
^ I definitely feel where you're coming from man. I might PM you to tell you more about my life and how I am sure I know what you're going through, at least in part, or to some degree.
My advice; give yourself time to recover from the amphetamines. Using them at high dosages is
way worse to the human psyche and brain, than medicinally prescribed dosages. About 1-2 years ago, I was using IV methamphetamine, at moderate dosages (much higher than prescribed dosages, let alone the ROA difference and how that changes the effects so much). I can't
exactly say if it worsened my depression when I came off it, cold turkey (no replacement meds, no switching/taking regular amphetamines, no taper off the IV methamphetamine itself), but other people on Bluelight have suggested that this has worsened my depression and to expect like 3 to 9 months of not being quite happy
just because the human psyche/brain is recovering from amphetamine usage. That figure is probably more appropriate for mild/moderate users of crystal methamphetamine. I think if you were using prescribed dosages of Adderall/Dexedrine, that the after-lasting depression should go away after 1 to 3 months (if it lasted longer than that, I'd think you'd have to be taking the higher-end of medicinal dosages, without taking a day break here and there, for quite a long time).
One last thing - feel free to PM me, I'm always around and would love to talk about life, and what's been helping me get through everything I've been going through.
Also, give yourself time to recover from having ended a long term relationship; I was in an equally long LTR and it ended really horribly. Finally, I don't think having to quit weed or go without hydrocodone is going to cause as severe depression as having come off the amphetamines, but I can understand how they compound what you're going through of course. The last ting I wanted to mention, is to get on food stamps!!! If you don't have any income/a job, it's a
great idea and will help you get your life back on track. Many apologies if you are already on them, or if I have already mentioned this as a viable option before.
i have to pay the price for all the evil i've inflicted upon people and i really should be in a holding cell waiting for my lethal injection but i think karma knows that i would want that the easy way out so i'm forced to live this painful existence called life but once my dad and g pa die i'm gonna kill myself
Think of it this way Mr. Flowers...
All the negative karma you've accumulated over time, no matter what it may involve/entail, can be largely attributed to the withdrawals that you're going through as a result of using/abusing opiates/benzos. Of course I have also theorized you can receive negative karma for things you have yet to do, so think of it this way - it's only UP from here, as long as you can quit the drugs.
Continuing to take huge dosages of benzos/opiates, will only lead to eventual misery when you run out, or stop unexpectedly, or are separated from the medicine for long enough).
You definitely have the will power and means to quit. It will take
a lot to do this though. The best advice I can give you, is to admit that you have tried to quit on your own, many many times, and
it's not your fault if you failed every time, as long as you honestly put your best effort forth. You deserve more help than the average person might require, and
it is out there for you. I think because you have tried so many times on your own, and are still struggling with this, it is worth looking into rehabilitation programs for people in your income bracket, and go from there.
I strongly suggest rehabilitation for you Mr. Flowers. I don't recommend it to 90%+ of the people I talk to at Bluelight. However, I think it could really help you as you are facing a lot of issues
aside from the addiction issues. And
that is ok! We all have problems. I have too many problems to want to talk about myself in the forums right now, although I will definitely PM you about what I've been going through if you want to PM me about what you've been going through.
I'm always available via PM.
The last thing I wanted to tell you, is to not feel afraid, ashamed, or guilty for wanting and needing the kind of help it's going to take to get you through this. All in all, it's worth the cost and them some, so don't feel guilty for even a split second. Feel grateful that you have options; many people in foreign countries (especially 3rd world ones) have little/no options that don't involve severe torture (i.e. Asia), incarceration, or being stuck in a mental hospital. You have
many rehabilitation options, and I'm sure if you looked at all the options, at least
one could and would work for you if you gave it your all.
Much peace and
to Mr. Flowers, Severely Etarded, and the rest of us experiencing some rough times in 2013.
