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The Suicide Support Thread

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severely etarded said:
I'd have never thought you went through all that. I've just been psychologically abused my entire life by my dad, and never really had any real friends that didn't move away or something. Moved way too many times in my childhood. My little sister tried to push me down stairs unsuspectingly when she was 15 and I was 17. Wrecked my car pretty bad at 16; lucky to be alive. Couldn't get a job for several years until I could get my misdemeanor "drug offender" record expunged, which by then it was too little too late because my 'employment gaps". Now I got kicked out of my apartment, lost my girlfriend of 5 years and had to take our dog to the pound to be put down. All I have left is memories.
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I'm sorry to hear that man. Things will get better.

I'm having a rough start to this year but I'm trying to hang in.
 
Thinking about taking about 6 hydros and going for a little swim in the ocean. This world is a cruel one. Got "laid off" from a shitty minimum wage job. Maybe valiums will help the inevitable happen. The water is still pretty cold. The atmosphere isn't going to do the trick at this point. I want mother nature to take me, but I want to help it. I don't want to live. I hope there's a better world for me but if there's not, nothing is better than pain and suffering, right? :(

Just checked the water temperature is 68, which could kill me after awhile right? Especially with hydros and maybe some valiums in my system, I'm sure I wouldn't feel the cold. I want to die.
 
^Please fight it, se. You can find another job and things will get better. We do care about you here and want you to continue living with us. I know how tempting suicide can be, but I think you have what it takes to really make it and get yourself out of the rut you've been in. I want to see it happen. Please PM me if you need to talk. <3
 
i'm so depressed all i want is to die i cut my wrist for the blood but started thinking what if i just let it bleed till i died then it'd all be over and i only stopped myself because i can't do that to my loved ones i feel like such a pussy
 
mrflowers00 said:
i'm so depressed all i want is to die i cut my wrist for the blood but started thinking what if i just let it bleed till i died then it'd all be over and i only stopped myself because i can't do that to my loved ones i feel like such a pussy
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^ hang in there brother!

I have had a really rotten start to this year but by next month I'm going to be very happy. I have some great plans ahead for myself and I want you to know that things can change for the better REALLY quickly! You won't even believe it until it happens. :)

I'm always here if you want to PM me man, take care of yourself and reach out to someone like me if you need to.
 
i gave up on cutting now if i feel like blood will make me feel better i stick a syringe in my are and draw it out that way i'm trying to stop my self destructive behavior but i see little point i still hate life and wish i was dead but i guess i should still make steps to try to feel better about my life
 
^Take it one step at a time mrflowers. The steps really do add up. <3
 
Life is short and you get a big break at the end. Why rush it?

Shit does get so old. Woman are whores, dudes are fucking pussies, college is a joke, America is a joke, your a joke, Im a joke.
Fuck winter, its hatred
 
Winter is over, it's the middle of Spring (for the Americans). Don't let others get you down, what matters is what you choose to make of your life.
 
Snow outside at the moment.

Its the dark overcast cold wet days that start before, last all during, and ween into the spring that kill me. Central KY winter at its finest.
It stresses the whole society here out.

Im moving before next winter, I wont make it through another winter sitting on my ass wasting time waiting for the sun too show and the cold drizzle to stop.

People are jogging on beaches looking at fine bitches elsewhere in the world.
 
I was doing really well. I had a little over 30 days sober, then I relapsed. Already feeling suicidal again after only being out for 2 days.
 
Lot of us struggling to find some hope at the moment by the looks of it, the hope that there are better days ahead out there for us. I have to believe that there could be if I can just work out how to get myself to them, that the possibility of them at least exists, cos soon as I stop believing that it's all over.

What I do know for a certainty though is that the possibility of them is gone forever absolutely as soon as I do give in. On that alone continuing through this life has advantages that outweigh any that bailing out might seem to offer. Hold that thought guys, we can get each other through this.

<3
 
Hey all, I just want to add real quick that if you are feeling suicidal and you are struggling with substance abuse then just please please realize that it is the drugs. I am a happy go lucky kid but when my DOC really had me by the balls I too felt so hopeless and didn't think it was worth it to go on. If you can just realize it's the drugs and that it DOES get better. The drugs are a temporary problem that you can beat and get control of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I love you all and wish nothing but the best for you. The drugs are really good at poisoning our minds and hijacking our thoughts. Just try and realize when you are thinking the worst of things, is it the drugs that are making me feel this way? I can almost guarantee you it is and you just need to talk it out with anyone.
 
Mass08 said:
Hey all, I just want to add real quick that if you are feeling suicidal and you are struggling with substance abuse then just please please realize that it is the drugs. I am a happy go lucky kid but when my DOC really had me by the balls I too felt so hopeless and didn't think it was worth it to go on. If you can just realize it's the drugs and that it DOES get better. The drugs are a temporary problem that you can beat and get control of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I love you all and wish nothing but the best for you. The drugs are really good at poisoning our minds and hijacking our thoughts. Just try and realize when you are thinking the worst of things, is it the drugs that are making me feel this way? I can almost guarantee you it is and you just need to talk it out with anyone.
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... I've cleaned for a month, still feel the same...
 
severely etarded said:
... I've cleaned for a month, still feel the same...
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I can't remember off the top of my head (bad memory, my apologies) what you were addicted/dependent on, but for me, heroin PAWS caused me to feel that bad for at least an entire year after I quit and was on Suboxone.

I also realized last night that I have been so depressed for so long that depression has warped what I can enjoy. When movies, other people, music, environments, ideas, etc. - are perceived by me as overly happy, I feel like I can't enjoy it right, and it makes me sad because I am so depressed. I realized last night that merely being able to escape the depression perception is necessary to gain an appreciation for what you have in life.

It probably sounds ridiculous and a bit silly, but this has been going on as long as I can remember. Watching Disney movies as a child would depress me. When my parents would play popular music, it would depress me. When I went out and saw other children playing on a playground, it would often (but not always) depress me. It was like happiness took on a bittersweet edge that caused me more pain than happiness.

I wish I knew more about why this happened and what I can do to stop it, other than focusing on shifting my perceptions to perceiving happiness.

I don't know if anyone else here has had problems with this like I have, and I really hope someone else can explain to me if they have noticed this too or not. I feel like I was onto something by noticing this last night, and it gave me the opportunity to make my life better.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
I can't remember off the top of my head (bad memory, my apologies) what you were addicted/dependent on, but for me, heroin PAWS caused me to feel that bad for at least an entire year after I quit and was on Suboxone.
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It's cool. I've been on amphetamines, quit them completely about a month ago or so. Used to be dependent on weed also, slowed down gradually over a year and haven't smoked at all in about a month. I have an Rx for norcos I didn't take for about a month... that is until I took my dog to the pound because I didn't have a place to stay or a way to buy her food.

It's fucked though because my ex of nearly 5 years left me a couple months ago.. Maybe it's situational depression + PAWS? Damn this shit sucks.
 
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