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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

The Suicide Support Thread

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CH is the fucking man. forreal. he's one of a few select people thay drew me to bluelight in the first place.
good luck with your taper man. I was in the same boat in respect to the effects at different bupe dosages. high doses would have me nodding out randomly, while standing even, and I'd be very hazy and absent minded. low doses would give me mild euphoria and tons of energy and focus. I actually enjoyed it lol.
 
I seriously think I fucked myself over and like my life will end if I don't end it first. Oh my god. Fuck this.
 
rx_prn said:
I seriously think I fucked myself over and like my life will end if I don't end it first. Oh my god. Fuck this.
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What's wrong? I used to feel the same way about my life, but this is just a feeling that is common to have when you are experiencing depression.

I hope you know how amazing you are and that your life is worth living. :)
 
no theatrics like before,

I simply can't do it anymore.
 
PK, what's going on with you? Care to share? Hang in there buddy.
 
i'm pretty fed up with my addiction but if you take withdrawal out of the puzzle then i'm a nice happy good productive person but wds make me an awful person
 
mrflowers00 said:
i'm pretty fed up with my addiction but if you take withdrawal out of the puzzle then i'm a nice happy good productive person but wds make me an awful person
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At least you know why you are unhappy man, and it's good to know you can be happy without the drugs once the withdrawals are gone. :)

Withdrawals make me miserable too.
 
i don't want to but i'm considering switching dilaudid for methadone but still staying on the oxy for mostly money purposes im in a bad way financially otherwise i would never sell drugs
 
mrflowers00 said:
i don't want to but i'm considering switching dilaudid for methadone but still staying on the oxy for mostly money purposes im in a bad way financially otherwise i would never sell drugs
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You should definitely switch to methadone, especially if it's going to be in a clinic setting. That way you can get your dose every day and it'll be nice and long lasting compared to the short acting opiates that tend to mess up a lot of people's lives.

If you were to be prescribed methadone, are you sure you can take it responsibly and not run out early?

These are definitely good things to consider before making a switch.

But best of luck no matter what choices you make Mr. Flowers. :)
 
careful with switching to methadone as if you get break through pain, the oxy won't be able to pierce the methadone blockade.
 
i can take methadone the way i'm supposed to if i have 100mg a day it holds me over and i don't really care for the high so yeah i could do it
 
mrflowers00 said:
i can take methadone the way i'm supposed to if i have 100mg a day it holds me over and i don't really care for the high so yeah i could do it
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Then yeah dude you should definitely make that switch! You will be so proud of yourself for staying at your dosage and maintaining on methadone. :)

My best friend in the world is on methadone and has been clean from dope for four years now. It's truly a life saver. :)
 
This is out of my control. I try to grasp, but I can't choose my passion. What I care about, desire. I can't choose who I love, or who I want to see.
All of this is fucked. It's just plain ruined.

I know no amount of pixels are going to solve anything, but I've gotta keep wasting this time whilst it's mine.
 
after reading that page for some reason motivated me to want to kill myself even more and even quicker :S
 
When in some horrid and frightful dream we reach the highest pitch of terror, it awakens us, scattering all the monsters of the night.
The same thing happens in the dream of life, when the greatest degree of terror compels us to break it off.
- Schopenhauer
 
Back to having constant thoughts of death and feeling suicidal, I can't cope with this. Therapy tomorrow is going to be hellish having to discuss every bad thing that has happened to me, having to discuss my hallucinations I hate all of it
 
^Keep hanging on mrflowers. I have a good feeling that things will get better for you and you'll look back at these times with gratitude and pride that you made it through. <3

Doomed2pain said:
Back to having constant thoughts of death and feeling suicidal, I can't cope with this. Therapy tomorrow is going to be hellish having to discuss every bad thing that has happened to me, having to discuss my hallucinations I hate all of it
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I think most every time I've dreaded going to therapy but went anyways, I ended up having some sort of break through and felt better about it and was incredibly glad that I went afterwards. Have you started DBT yet?
 
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