The EADD Metathread - Let's talk about how we can improve EADD

[gayorstraight]

I completely disagree - to many posters, it's really not *just* a forum, it's a proper little community. And I would guess the fact that it's so tightly-knit is one reason it's not instantly welcoming to new posters.

It's tightly knit between a select few posters and even then that's romanticising it. No reason to be insular and elitist to new people anyway.

'Proper little communities' need to be welcoming to new people otherwise they will inevitably wither away to nothing. EADD is kind of showing signs of this happening already.

 

[Sammy G]

Just a throw away comment.

Son, do you need to analyse everything i say!

Do you always need to call me 'son'? :D

 

[NightsEpiphany]

If its embarrassing you i wont.

 

[Sammy G]

Nah, s'fine.

 

[Trotsy'sEarBleed]

The thing that I was unhappy with is people being driven away from the forum. You have nothing to apologise about, IMO.

Cheers, mate. Appreciated.

 

[knock]

*snip unnecessary abuse*

If you want to tighten the standards and rules perhaps start enforcing ones that are uniform across the rest of BL such as discussing prices and sourcing.

I really have no idea what any of this has to do with offensiveness or being unwelcoming. It doesn't, does it?

You're one of the most offensive people I know on here :D

 

[Trotsy'sEarBleed]

*snip unnecessary abuse*

Too slow on the draw, OTW. I read it or were you just being sarcastic? So what if I was too fucked up to spell my user name right? It doesn't take away any empathy I'd feel for Julie or anyone else reading it, if it hurt them. Besides, my comments about offensiveness though also relating to that thread were ultimately out of something entirely different that transpired on this forum.

 

[NightsEpiphany]

*ruffles Sams hair* :D

 

[knock]

Too slow on the draw, OTW. I read it or are you just being a sarcastic? So what if I was too fucked up to spell my user name right? It doesn't take away any empathy I'd feel for Julie or anyone else reading it, if it hurt them. Besides, my comments about offensiveness though also relating to that thread were ultimately out of something entirely different that transpired on this forum.

It was me who did the snipping.

OTW is an infamous troll. Would you believe he was once on staff?

I'll start moving off topic stuff if chat doesn't remain on topic. You have been warned. And if it causes me too much trouble, infractions will be issued. Hear me OTW?

 

[mydrugbuddy]

[ANCHOR][/ANCHOR]Jesus Knock, Ive never heard you sound so direct before. (thats a 'jesus' exclamation of surprise rather than anything else btw.)

 

[knock]

I mean it.

SandyFrank, I've got rid of your post and OTWs post. OTW was quite wrong in his actions. I will infract if there is any more of that.

 

[mydrugbuddy]

I dont doubt it.

 

[BecomingJulie]

For what it's worth, I've ignored worse than some of the remarks that were made in my Coming Out thread. BUT thinking about it, I have called other people out for saying less to my friends; and someone with thinner skin than mine might well have felt unwelcome in that situation. And, as much as I don't want a reputation as a boat-rocker, had it been anybody else on the receiving end, I wouldn't have hesitated to jump straight in to their defence.

And I'm sure I must have made the odd out-of-order remark myself, so I don't think I'm entirely innocent.

Lookng at the bigger picture, there are times and places where things are more inappropriate than others. I mean, at least I'm still around to defend myself .....

I think a good first step would be to start calling out gross insensitivity as soon as we see it. Preferrably the offendee themself, if posible; otherwise a moderator. Out in the open, so everyone gets to see it -- a culture of secrecy where somebody is clearly annoyed at someone else but nobody is saying why soon turns into paranoia. And obviously, content is important; a particular remark that would be unacceptable in a memorial thread or a serious harm reduction question might be less so in a not-quite-so-serious thread. Then again, there are certain ideas that just don't belong anywhere except the inside of a person's head.

We're bound to have differences of opinion; that's what always happens when you get people coming together. But we should be able to deal with that. If two people know that neither of them is going to change the other's mind, they can at least keep their mouths shut for everyone else's sake.

Now, can we go back to being a friendly community, please? And just so nobody can accuse me of hypocrisy, if I say anything I shouldn't, please call me out on it before I do any damage.

 

[Arnold]

I mean it.

SandyFrank, I've got rid of your post and OTWs post. OTW was quite wrong in his actions. I will infract if there is any more of that.

You truly are a double standards commi cunt aren't you?

 

[mydrugbuddy]

First off, sorry for the delayed reply. We don't have wifi in our apt, so my husband and I have to take turns with the laptop.

MDB, I never denied that there weren't certain people who offered me kindness or were cool to talk to straight off the bat. I even mentioned you as one of them in one of my posts. Forums are something of a microcosm of real life, so there's always a huge array of dynamics going on at once, and a lot of times only fragments of the bigger picture are known by the majority. I've had experiences that I've shared with you, via PM, instead of unloading in some cases when I've been upset over something. And I realize that we ALL have problems we're dealing with outside of this forum, in day to day life. I know I'm not the only one, or 'special' in that regard. I was trying to make amends for perhaps not grasping how certain things ran here, as I can be overly sensitive. And I have met people here whose support I value greatly. At the same time, like I mentioned earlier, I'm not the best with banter and am reticent to jump in, particularly as a newcomer. I have and have had social anxiety since I was a teenager. I don't say that to make excuses, I say that just to explain why I might see things through perhaps a different set of eyes than someone else who is more outspoken, for example. I also tend to over analyze, so I was just admitting or trying to own up to anyone I perhaps rubbed the wrong way. And in regards to recent incidents, I did try to make amends with that individual. I'm merely posting my experience. We all have problems, and I'm glad you've found the support you need here. I just was upset over certain things that transpired and felt guilt over them as well. That said, I didn't mean to condemn the group as a whole. If anything, I was just sorry if actions were taken that upset the longer term members.

I think youve taken what i said the wrong way, Ive onbiosuly said done or done something wrong, but me being not the worlds most socially skilled bloke. i honestly havent a clue ehat it is.

 

[Raasyvibe]

*snip unnecessary abuse*

If you want to tighten the standards and rules perhaps start enforcing ones that are uniform across the rest of BL such as discussing prices and sourcing.

Despite being called a born again bible basher, I thought OTW's post was one of the best on the board. People should be free to express themselves. I've always had countless abuse towards me, particularly for my religion... but I've never complained. Rather, I welcome it. If someone is pissed off with me, I'd rather they let it out in the open.... and then we have ground to deal with it.... rather than hide it in fear of warnings and infractions.

Knock I feel you're being particularly snippy tonight. Though nonetheless, as previously stated, I respect your handling of the matter through active discussion rather than firing out infractions.

 

[BecomingJulie]

I think youve taken what i said the wrong way, Ive onbiosuly said done or done something wrong, but me being not the worlds most socially skilled bloke. i honestly havent a clue ehat it is.

This is the sort of thing to which I was referring earlier -- it just fosters resentment. Explain, apologise, become stronger and move on.

 

[knock]

Despite being called a born again bible basher, I thought OTW's post was one of the best on the board. People should be free to express themselves. I've always had countless abuse towards me, particularly for my religion... but I've never complained. Rather, I welcome it. If someone is pissed off with me, I'd rather they let it out in the open.... and then we have ground to deal with it.... rather than hide it in fear of warnings and infractions.

Knock I feel you're being particularly snippy tonight. Though nonetheless, as previously stated, I respect your handling of the matter through active discussion rather than firing out infractions.

Sorry if I've been over snippy. Sometimes I make mistakes, I'm really quite fucking tired!

 

[maxalfie]

What Snollz said mostly. Insensitive comments in RIP threads should be warned/infracted/removed/unapproved/whatever in all cases (imo, etc, etc) but there is always gonna be problems on the BLaw, the Letter of the BLaw how rigid and stringent they are, how and when they are applied and whose version of moral/ethical/social/political Truth is truest and such like is a far trickier beast altogether. The BLUA does state pretty clearly that any offensive personal comments will result in warning and infractions so it's not like people shouldn't be aware they need to bear that in mind before posting at all times. Being fukked is no excuse if it's anything other than a first offence cos however fukked you may be you've been around long enough to have had time to read the rules.. If a few of 'em were to be applied more rigorously then this would count as fair warning and I tend to be of the opinion that posts that are liable to cause serious offence, upset or insult then people should learn a bit of common decency and stop whinging about fukkin censorship. It's not censorship it's basic human decency. EADD needs to be a place where any and all feel comfortable and safe to read, post and join in without having to worry about arseholes being dicks

(would that be a prolapse? i really should've thought that last sentence through properly )

Gotta agree with Shambles. Also if you know that a particular person may piss you off with things they say then everyone has the ability to block people so they never have to see their posts whether they are good,bad or indifferent.

 

[RLP]

God, you plebs are arguing in a thread which is designed to cut out arguing. And they say intelligence has no correlation with social class.