The Big & Dandy HPPD Thread

[Pagey]

I'm starting to wonder if I might have developed it a bit - in the past couple of months I've been taking large doses of aMT at least once or twice a week (yes I'm stopping now ) and in the past few days I noticed that whenever I start getting drowsy/sleepy I start tripping a bit...I was falling asleep a bit at the office earlier today and I could see the words on my screen changing colour. Most of them turned blue actually. Also the posters on the wall kept sliding up and down, the screen was moving back and forth as well...and I could hear my colleagues talking but they weren't saying things that made sense. I was hearing them talk about completely random unrelated things (that they most definitely weren't actually talking about) and I had a massive compulsion to join that imagined conversation, even though I wasn't included in their real one in the slightest...Was super weird. Anyone know if that fits?

 

[no_id]

When it come to HPPD and DP/DR, it seem that some recover (become asymptomatic - not only used to it) when other don't at all.

Your hypothesis on why ?

Ive read some report of guys getting DP/DR for days, or a week.
Some for month.
Some for years.
Some never healed.
Ive read some report of guys who got DP/DR from mj, got burned for some month/years, healed, then finally smoked more mj without consequence.

Ive a hard time imagining it's "brain damage" as we typically figure it, or there should be no recovery story, and taking more drugs after recovery should mess things instantly...



Personnal experience : Ive got DP/DR from MJ, Salvia, 3MMC, episode of anxiety/depression, recovered each time in a course of 3 or 5 month... Since the first episode (salvia) I'm left with a really low grade DP/DR (unnoticable, I even ask myself if I have always been like this), and each time I got new episode I recovered to this baseline...
In an episode I experience generally moderate to strong depersonalization (loss of ego/consciousness of self) and mild derealization (not at the point that things feel 100% unreal, just the emotionnal response is a bit missing and I don't feel secure, like if something is missing in my perceptions).
The most annoying things is that I loss emotionnal response to music when dp'ed, this scare the shit out of myself since I'm musician.

 

[Reverend Random]

Here's another good article on flashbacks and HPPD for those interested:

Are Acid Flashbacks A Myth?

 

[al-laddin]

A mental disorder or mental illness is a clinically significant psychological pattern that occurs in an individual and is usually associated with distress or disability that is not expected as part of normal development or culture.

By that definition, what great many people in this thread are describing is not HPPD (Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder). That especially includes all kinds of natural visual phenomena, such as "floaters", phosphenes, the blue field entoptic phenomenon, etc. Also, any lingering visual effects (geometric patterning, light to moderate visual snow, brighter colours, auras, etc) from psychedelic use that are not distruptive to one's normal functioning do not classify as a disorder (HPPD).

This, my friend, Im sorry but is getting FUCKING ridiculous. Its obvious whats going on but people are dancing around the subject, because quite frankly no one wants to believe that psychedelics are unsafe. Well sorry, they are not 100% safe. People around here need to get their fucking heads out of their asses because its insulting to those of us who have experienced perceptional changes to a significant degree post psychedelic use. ITS WAY more common than you think. If youre still seeing shit differently up to a week post acute intoxication then you are experiencing it to some degree. Most , if not all psychedelics are metabolized within a 24 hour period.

Saying that you don't have HPPD when you have all the symptoms but you are strong minded enough to choose to not let it bother you and live a fulfilling life is akin to saying that someone who lost a leg but still play sports , in fact did not lose a leg. Hey, it doesn't get in the way of his life, its not a disorder. Some people have higher thresholds for emotional discomfort and for some its just not uncomfortable. But that doesn't change the fact that things are morphing and trailing before their very eyes. I for one never tell people about my "different" perception.

I don't think the DSM meant for people to take everything THAT literally anyway. Fine HPPD is not a disorder for most people, but its still a condition.


Listen Im PRO psychedelics, in fact I still use psychedelics despite my HPP. But it would be nice to alnowledge the side effects and not ignore them so that we can get to the bottom of things, prevent them, or be able to make safe and healthier choices about how often we use them, which ones potentially cause less problems etc.

 

[ImNotInsane]

Swim used Lucy 2 times in two Weeks which went against his policy of doing it frequently. It turned out to be very low dose and was tested. It only produced mild visuals and a bit of a weird headspace and just kept him up for 12 hours annoying him. After this he noticed subtle trails. Only when he looks at something in the background and waves his hand in front of it. Never if he looks at it directly. He notices it the most in sunlight when walked with his arms slightly swaying. The biggest thing he noticed was when he uses his phone his thumb produces a tiny trail that catches his attention. Has this always been there and he never noticed it? He has not had any visual snow. He also never tried any drugs before Lucy and recently tried weed a few times. It gives him comedown acid like patterns on textured surfaces and more pronounced trails. Is this all normal and in his head or is he developing hppd and needs to be more cautious. He is already super cautious and friends think it's in his head. Just curious to everyone's opinion. Swim hasn't done psychedlics in 2 months and still sees the same things. It's almost as if he looks for it but it occasionally catches his attention when not.

 

[5HToInfinity]

It's normal, it's in your head and it's HPPD, and you only need to be more cautious if the visual alterations disturb you. I have serious HPPD and have learned to simply accept it and enjoy it.

 

[ImNotInsane]

It's normal, it's in your head and it's HPPD, and you only need to be more cautious if the visual alterations disturb you. I have serious HPPD and have learned to simply accept it and enjoy it.

Thanks man! Swim probably never noticed things. His friends all tell him everything he sees is normal and the phone screen things has to do with refresh rate. Weed in California is pretty strong in sativa form too from swim he has only tried is a few times so It may have been why he had some visuals. Nothing breathing, just some patterns on textured surfaces and minor trailing. Nothing as intense as Lucy. And swim never has had panic attack from it other than almost passing out because he's a noob to smoking and held it too long. Swim read that weed gives them panic attacks with hppd which I haven't had . Swim isn't too experienced with drugs other than Lucy. He actually tried Lucy before alcohol 2 times and weed recently. Most drugs don't hold the same candle as psychs to him.

 

[Someone13232]

after 25i-nbome (overdosing on one of the many occasions i hammered this drug among other 2c's), everythings been pretty different.
after each normal hit i did, everything pretty much went back to normal. i know im fairly susceptible because i tried LSD at school age and everything changed then too, bubbles became planets, the sky on a bright white or blue skied day would look like it had oil poured all over it or like the back of a CD, all shiny and colourful and trippy.

but yeah since the 25-i OD, trails are the main one, i can see car headlights coming past from miles away and rewind them as i please, i can see the entire path a fly has taken to get to where it is and rewind that too, and play it backwards and forwards as many times as i like until i get distracted. everything has a kind of resonancy glow around it where the colours are seperated from the main object according to what colour they are.. theres a lime green kind of everything slightly to the right of everything, and a pinky red everything just to the left.
sometimes white things turn negative, and if im in a bright white environment like an office or shop or my bathroom, the whiteness is like a strobe where everything flashes negative incredibly fast and like... it takes up all my brain power trying to escape from it, its almost incapacitating, i imagine its what epileptics must feel like but worse, i have the time to close my eyes or get away from bright lights. my armhairs look like tadpoles swimming over me and sometimes if i see a glimpse of someone in the corner of my eye they look a bit reptillian for a moment. sometimes people get big purple/blue/reddish patches on their faces, sometimes really pale people look a bit green, closing my eyelids and looking at direct sunlight through them provides me with this incredible vortex of swirling light in every concievable colour simultaneously. sometimes random things make me laugh cause they look wierd kinda wierds everyone out a bit at times...
i noticed after a mild dose of 2c-b there was colours spilling from object to object for a few days afterwards.. like a pink tablecloth would be pouring pink stuff all over the floor and it would be a big puddle. and 3d TV's give me migraines now, i cant really see the images it just overwhelms my eyes with blurry painful nonsense.
a lot of the things im reading on here are true of what it was like for me before the great dose of 25-i that pushed it over the cliff for me.
mild hppd is still hppd, and even if it doesnt bother me as significantly as people who see scary things, its still there. it took me more than 6 months to tell my friends i could still see a lot of the shit from when i was tripping last.
darkness can be quite challenging too, most people can operate fine unless its pitch black, but if its sorta quite dark but not entirely, things meld into each other and interlock if that makes sense... sorta like the background to everything does when you do a nitrous balloon... it looks like those black and white birds flying right to left and left to right into each other in that tesselating way... you know...
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UdB9beP6-2c/TbXnypg4TwI/AAAAAAAAEUs/zfcwKcKvs1Y/s1600/escher2.jpg
this mainly happens in the corners of rooms in the shadows, and where the floor meets walls

had to edit this one in because its one of my favourite traits to be honest- sometimes paving slabs are all like their own unique little persian carpets, only its like its a flat surface thats been embossed with the pattern in the same way you can photoshop things to look embossed but it looks fake and wierd.

 

[ImNotInsane]

Checking back in with everyone again, I am an extremely observant person. So i notice very subtle things in every day life, I am still in the mindset where I'm not sure if i have mild hppd. I want to ask everyone to check a few tests for me that don't have it. If you move your finger tips across a computer screen, do you see a mild tracer? Its very subtle but there. I'm trying to figure out if I've never noticed this before or not but I don't know how I wouldn't have. Another is sit in a pitch black room and wave your cell phone screen in front of you while focusing on something in the background, do you see any bit of an after image slowly fade toward the phone? I don't see it if i look directly, but it's not just the typical blur, I hear the stories with looking at bright light in the dark and looking away quickly and seeing the tracer but i do not. I'm trying to figure out how much of this is normal and if my brain is playing tricks on me. I don't have visual snow that I know, or anything wavy. I do get a mild trippy feeling if i smoke weed but I am a noob and have only smoked out of gravity bongs which get you messed up. I actually enjoy the high, but I do see patterns on textured surfaces and see more tracers and have static when I smoke. But this may be normal. Too much of a grey area for me. I feel fine and it's embarrassing that i let this bother me when people have it way worse. I just want to know if I should discontinue all drug use for a while? I only do weed acid and alcohol and all infrequently. I have only tripped 5 times and smoked about 6 times.

 

[al-laddin]

I get literally a 3 second count trail off my phone in the dark....its about three feet long. I ve done a lot of psychedleics and my vision is quite fucked.....but my brain is fine...lots of static ....eyes take forever to adjust to the dark, etc.

 

[ParappaTheRapper]

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[ParappaTheRapper]

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[Mr.Trees]

I had very mild HPPD when i first started psychedelics, i was fascinated with tripping after my first trip on shrooms but was just small visual distortions from using once or twice a week. I was also a daily pot smoker at the time, which seamed to exacerbate my symptoms quite a bit to the point where i almost felt like I was tripping again if i smoked the day after I did any psychedelic. My HPPD got really bad from abuse of over the counter drugs like DXM and from my various "experiements" with DPH. After DXM i saw patterns everywhere, where if i zoned out for a minute or so my world sort of waved, i enjoyed it to an extent actually, I found it to be almost like free drugs.

DPH is where shit it the fan, it felt like not only was I seeing things moving and changing in my peripheral vision constantly after doing a large DPH dose , i felt significantly dumber and dazed constantly for weeks almost, if i did smoke weed i had very intense visuals and sedation, which wasnt that much fun in groups when i was much higher than the people around me. I recently stopped my ridiculous DPH habbit and i have returned to "normal", but there is still a touch of HPPD, i am not sure whether it is HPPD or my brain is now trained to see patterns.

 

[Mr.Trees]

I get literally a 3 second count trail off my phone in the dark....its about three feet long. I ve done a lot of psychedleics and my vision is quite fucked.....but my brain is fine...lots of static ....eyes take forever to adjust to the dark, etc.

Yea i have the same issues. Most of my visual static went away, but if move past me quickly or i wave my hand in front of my face there is a noticeable trail behind them, and any light source in the dark leaves a trail and an after image when moved.

 

[EstherAmadore]

I have tripped a few times in the last few months and have been thinking I'm experiencing HPPD for a bit now. I guess about 6 times? I actually tripped for the first time this year and it was extremely intense and scary and I hurt myself pretty badly. I didn't necessarily have bad trips the following two times (which I lump together because they were both LSA) but the visuals were strong and I had extreme nausea. The following one was great but very intense and lasted around 17 hours so it was kind of scary and the last one was my first time trying DXM and I got horrible Robo Itch and scratched myself raw and I honestly don't remember much of what happened. I felt I may have experienced it a bit before that, but it's been the last few days since the DXM trip that I still feel I am experiencing some mild visuals often. I have never had vision problems before but now certain colors and patterns feel like they're shifting, moving or breathing. Also on some occasion strobing, particularly out of the corner of my eye.

I haven't smoked weed in many months and I haven't drank in weeks

Mostly it bothers me at work, as I am a barista in a small grocery store and deli and I have to work a cash register and sometimes ring up a hundred plus dollars worth of stuff and I'm already dyslexic which makes it difficult keeping track of what I've rung up and reading price labels and typing them in among other things, but I feel the breathing patterns intensifies my dyslexia because I get distracted by the movement and almost feel like I forget how to read. Plus the pattern of the stress matts on the floor is a bunch of little octagons and they almost look like they're wobbling around to me at times.

 

[Romsel]

I've used mushrooms, truffles, MDMA and 4FA.
I've started noticing visuals disturbance after using (too much) MDMA for a while.

1) How many times have you tripped?
I did mushrooms four times and truffles once within six years. Never had visual disturbance afterwards or noticed something different.
When i started with MDMA i did it like +-20 times within 30 months.
Within those 30 months i did 4FA about +-10 times.

2) Did you experience HPPD after a bad trip?
No. I never had a bad trip from anything.

3) On which substances did HPPD become apparent?
MDMA and 4FA.

What are the effects?
- When it gets darker, i see strong auras around people. They appear to be purple, green or just white/transparent.
- When im driving, the white stripes around the road get a very strong purple surrounding. Its similar to the auras.
- When i look outside and then back to the inside, i see the whole shape of the window as an after image. They're grey, moving and transparent.
- My overall sight in the (very) dark has become weak. I used to bike through this forest after my work around 23:00 PM without lights. All these years it was no problem at all. But lately my eyes just cant adapt as they used to. Most of the times i stop for a minute because i cant see jack, haha.

I'm sure i don't have HPPD.
But i'm also sure these changes aren't something i've ''started noticing'' after using drugs like MDMA.
Also, some days i have no visuals disturbance at all.
On other days, it drives me a little crazy when i talk with people and get distracted by all these luminous shapes/auras.

I just try not to focus on it, but there is not a day passing by without thinking about it .

 

[agepoyo]

My story of HPPD started last year. I was abusing large doses of Diphenhydramine daily for about 2 months.
None of it was fun or pleasant and after an experience that felt so close to death I quit.
This was all while I was addicted to synthetic cannabinoids, which I managed to quit last October, and haven't
touched it since.

The visual effects have persisted since my last DPH trip to this day, and shows no signs of going away. Walls waving,
halos, hexagons spiralling on any sort of surface, and other visuals. I am a lot more sensitive to light and have suffered a lot of anxiety
along with all of this. I find it extremely debilitating, as it is just as persistent as when they first started.

---

I am on 50mg Zoloft daily as well, and was through all of this.. maybe that could've contributed as well.

 

[Soul Garden]

I am not completely sure that I have developed full blown hppd, but lately I've REALLY noticed some visual changes after using psychedelics every 3-5 days for 1 1/2 months. When I smoke cannabis, I can have what I would consider a light to a medium light trip. The visuals I am experiencing seem to be more related to my lsd trips than my mushroom trips regardless of the fact that I have definitely consumed more mushrooms than lsd. My symptoms have not been debilitating or stressful, but they are very noticeable and distracting. Here's a list of changes I've noticed.

- Colors becoming dull or intensified.
- Very light and transparent pink, orange, red, and green auras that cover parts of my visual field and/or areas partially at times.
- occasional (quite a few times a day) changes in the color (Very light and transparent as if they are aural) of the walls and floor, mostly orange, pink, red, and yellow
- A feeling that my vision has jumped a few steps ahead of me when I'm walking and my body has to catch up to it
- Visual snow/static has become insanely dense and is impossible to NOT notice.
- Vision becoming insanely clear and sharp, similar to what is experienced on mushrooms
- Things at times becoming very still and sticking out as if I've walked into a pop up book.This lasts for a moment.
- Weird moments where it seems my vision has slightly shifted to the side, forward, etc... lasts a split second.
- Normal black text appearing black, purple, blue, and red with somewhat of a glare as if the text is reflecting light. Colorful texts seem really reflective.
- Text appearing to sway back and forth
- Tunneling vision
- Way too much peripheral movement.
- Objects in periphal vision may sometimes have false motion
- Objects may saturate or change colors at times
- Moments of micropsia and macropsia
- Moments where depth and distance perception is altered
- Dark spots in vision, streaks, lines, and "zips", orange spots, blue floaters, lots of "visual garbage"
- Seeing motion in the air or a smokey looking visual
- Closed eye visuals
- Increased recognition of faces and patterns in carpet, wood grained surfaces, etc..
- Dark areas become fucking LITTERED in visual garbage
- Vision is more "centralized", sides of vision blurring out
- Occasional physical sensations and motions that are reminiscent of tripping


Despite the visual changes, I am still managing to live normally. The visuals are becoming very distracting though which can disrupt work and projects at times. I'm just happy that I am still in full contact with reality, but I would like for this to end soon. It's interesting at times and I like to experiment with it due to my intense interest in psychology, but I realize this issue will most likely cause disruptions in my lifestyle at some point.

 

[PhilipLethman]

Sorry for slight repost but I'm just making some things clearer.

Firstly, I'm sure I have HPPD as I have all the symptoms for it 24/7 apart from halos so don't say that I might not have it as I'm 100% sure. Although I'd rather not mention my age as I'm too young for this to be happening to me, I'll say it as it could make things clearer for some people, I'm 15 years old, almost 16.
Since 5 months from now, I've had hppd from one tab of acid. My HPPD has been very strong and I can ignore it but there are moments where it gets very bad due to stress.
My friend took 2 of the tabs I took and had none of these such effects. I took them in a bad place (At my friends house in his room with parents next door.), which I know is stupid of me,
but I can't understand how I can have such sever HPPD from such a low dose of LSD. The trip lasted an unusual 18 hours and I got terrified towards the end when I had to speak to my parents on the substance without them realizing.
2 months into my HPPD i decided to take a quarter tab of acid to see if I could feel anything as I heard that the average person can almost not feel a quarter tab. I felt
some quite powerful effects and I'm thinking that LSD just hits me harder than usual. I need some advice on if I should consult someone. I can't tell my parents. I haven't done any drugs ( aside from
the occasion nos balloon) since but I do drink almost every weekend. I get negative after-images, bad visual snow on walls. What scares me the most is that when I stare at something still for
too long I can enter a trance state where I feel like I'm tripping but less powerfully, the shadows of objects move around and I see many strange transparent outlines that move out of place (hard to explain.)
If anyone has advice I would really appreciate it. It hasn't got any better or worse but I don't want this to remain permanently as it had an effect on my exams last year and I can't let it affect my exams
coming up in 6 months. Obviously, I will never take psychedelics again but I want to know weather alcohol makes hppd worse as I drink a lot and I really enjoy it. I'm a heavyweight to alcohol so I have never thrown up even after drinking some very large doses but I know my limits and I make sure I don't go too near them. But if alcohol has a bad affect on hppd I'll stop drinking. Also I always like to have cofee in the morning but I've stopped having it as it does boost my after images and visual snow by quite a bit. I need people to give me their opinions as I have never heard of hppd quite this bad after only one real trip which frankly frightens me and makes me think I have this for life

I really hope this site allows this post even with my young age as I know some people here could help me.


You can't imagine how thankful I am for advice.

 

[p-helix]

Since 5 months from now, I've had hppd from one tab of acid. My HPPD has been very strong and I can ignore it but there are moments where it gets very bad due to stress.



You can't imagine how thankful I am for advice.

Try to focus on doing things to improve your life and at the same time try not to worry, as HPPD will loom larger and become an even more noticeable part of your everyday reality if you ruminate on it excessively.

Stay away from alcohol as much as you can as it is an extremely physiologically damaging drug which is likely to inhibit your recovery from HPPD.

Do exercise, eat well and read the The Art of Seeing by Aldous Huxley, which is nothing to do with LSD but can teach you to see well in a functional way without zoning out as much.

Be happy, be sensible and try to recover soberly if possible.