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The Big & Dandy HPPD Thread

I still get trails all the time. esspecially at night with like a cell phone. Perma vision as I call it is a reality for many. Early in the mounring I see paterns move, an afgan blanket will ripple and pulse but that goes away once I am up and moving.

I used phycadelics heavily though. I also still see odd movement in trees, they seem more alive to me then when I was you but I think that is just awareness of the world
 
I'm not sure if this is exactly HPPD, but this has been the case ever since a peculiar half eigth mushroom trip several years ago, that was so strong for some reason everyone around me had become mermaids and new creatures.

Anyway, since that day I see what people feel. Or atleast, how they act. When someone acts childish, I used to see their legs become shorter, and now i will see their face become child-like. When someone shifts from insincere to genuinely tired and concerned, I will see their skin begin to wrinkle and age. It's hard to put into words. The strange part is that I've been in many situations where people around me couldn't read another person, and that person themself became shocked that I knew exactly what they meant.
 
^ sounds like a third eye or two was opened up after that trip :)
 
Does anyone else find that HPPD seriously hampers their ability to read?

This is, for me, the most annoying aspect of it all. For me, the font constantly changes, getting bolder, thinner, blurring, then refocusing. Sometimes, my focus will inadvertently shift from the sentence I'm on to the entire chunk of text, for instance a paragraph, as it takes on its own HPPD-induced characteristics (becoming infused with indescribable, colourful static and morphing every now and then). This colourful static appears to occur when looking at certain patterns and, in relation to reading, I believe it is caused by the proximity of words and lines as a result of word/ line spacings. Reading off a computer makes it 10 times worse due to the light emitted from the screen.

On top of some lingering cognitive deficits I've experienced from a period of MDMA/ AMT abuse, reading has become an absolute nightmare with HPPD.
 
So it was finding this thread that partially finally worked up the guts to discuss this problem with a Dr. I've suffered with these symptoms for around 20 years (they've improved a lot but they're there still). Have been prescribed Olanzipine and took 2nd dose today, and I feel 'fine' if not a little euphoric (it seems to be more to do with feeling fine, and being glad I bothered than a buzz euphoria). Yesterday I dared use google today I'm on anti psychotics and feel much better....

I have gone through about 19 years of alcoholism coping with this, mostly it worked I was settled enough to work and was quite a well respected IT engineer until the alcohol became more of a problem than the HPPD, I've been off alcohol (99.9% for 2.5 years) and work 3 years. I started facing up to it in the past month, finally a thread on reddit mentioned hallucinogenics and I found the courage to click search and the words 'hallucinogen longterm effects'

Has anyone else had experience in olanzipine being used? Or feel up to having a chat to me whose been through this and come out (or not as a at a guess I never will?)

:)
 
Is the Olanzipine actually working against the effects of HPPD or rather helping you cope with it? Thought nothing really seemed to help against this
 
Its helping me cope I guess (bear in mind this is just day 2). Bear in mind I'd suggest I was most 'normal' on 10mg of valium than ever over the years. This is how I feel now-the slight buzz you get from valium. If I close my eyes the shapes are still there.
 
May I ask how severe your HPPD is/was? Anti-psychotics seem rather extreme to me..

I know it's bad to go against a doctor's word, but try to abstain from using this for too long, and def. NOT stop using it in one day as that's rather dangerous. (Just read the wikipedia entry for Olanzipine. Oof, it's a tough one)

Also, try a healthier way of living (exercise, have a balanced diet, maybe a bit of meditation for the mind). I was having some symptoms of HPPD as well and recently I've learned to take better care of myself and the effects have subsided for a bit. Still have the static, but have had that since birth as far as I know. In the mean time, my psych/drug usage has gone up (though not as extreme as many on here). Personal health def. has a relation to this.
 
Yeah I am going to hit the health shit when I've got over this sort of 'dealing with the fact stage', again remember I've coped 'OK' with this for a long time, I'll get the govt to sign me back off as sick (I fucking hope!!) to get some space to deal with this, This'll also increase my benefits allowing for a higher food budget :) (I'm also already a vegetarian and tend to eat well when I'm feeling well and I'm feeling wellso this helps)

In the first few years it was insane literaly a panic or anxiety attack a day all hooking back into my "I'm gonna die" bad trip, visuals constantly, a lot of fractals (all my trips have been heavy on fractals) I guess, I quickly learned drinking worked a bit for me in that it relaxed me etc helped me handle the 'I'm going insane' thoughts. I have basically understood whats happened for the whole time, just not dealt with it and self medicated. I can't quantify how extreme it is/was theres no scale I can put to it I don't think.

Amusingly I've got a plate and bolts in my right leg through using exercise and 'buzzy' sports to help with this already, I now the score on exercise I just tend to like it a bit extreme!!! (get those endorphins kicking!!!)
 
Oh well, keep us posted on how it goes man! It's interesting to say the least to see how someone tries to cope with true HPPD (as opposed to visual disturbances like many in this thread), and it seems like you got a real plan to work things out. Wish you the best in all of this
 
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I'm interested, you seem to believe me right off, what makes you sure I have HPPD (if I'm reading you right) i haven't read this thread in that much depth yet I've had a lot of other reading to do!!!

Remember I've 'coped unmedicated' (not strictly obviously) for years, this is just going to hopefully improve my quality of life a bit more.
 
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Well, what you describe (those visuals are much more than what I experienced as "weak symptoms of HPPD"1) seems to coincide with my idea of what HPPD is, and your writing seems a little bit borked (no offense). Yet you're quite aware of the situation, so you're not schizophrenic

You could be lying of course, but why would anyone do that?

1Those are the visual anomalies described to much detail in the thread. In my case: Halos around lights, slight breathing, those specks of dark you often see in older film recordings (especially in home movies created using Super 8 film) but with some hints of blue around it and of course the static vision. Hardly ever occurs and is not persistent at all
 
No I just wondered because my Dr. was the same yesterday, he was like "Oh right I wondered what you weren't telling me hmmmm try these for a couple of weeks and let me know, we can up them quite a bit" like saying "yeah sounds reasonable here take these pretty strong anti-psychotics we can up them if you want"

Fuck the occasional black dots its all about being able to bend metal (if only visually) in your vision ;)
 
I'm trying to figure out if what i'm experiencing lately is hppd or not.The last november i had a bad trip on 25c,the day after i felt totally fried and derealized,week after week things have improved a lot,but i still feel detached from reality,it's like i have a mild "fog" that pervades both my mind and the world around me.Apart from that i don't have strong visual symptoms,but when i'm in bed and trying to sleep,if i open my eyes and blink i see a blueish dot or flash of light but only if i blink and i'm trying to sleep or really relaxed.Sometimes i have the illusion that static objects or the letters are moving,but it's different from tripping and also different from my benzodiazepine withdrawal (then i was really hallucinating).I don't know...maybe it's just anxiety fucking with me.

P.S.:Well,i also have afterimages and visual snow (i always had the latter but now has become more prominent).
 
It sounds possible (hey look at me all expert!) It could also be PTSD, if you can talk to a Dr (seriously don't do what I did and keep it to yourself!!)

kidklmx, I have an odd way of writing, thats just 'me' :)
 
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Cws---2013, first signs occured 2011 trips started was(in occurence with both good and bad trips hppd is prelivant)
2011 trips, dph,2ce not many signs first occured until around 2012 it seamed more occurent after a few bad dph trips and great dxm experiances as well as many psilocibon experiances, all in all in 2013 ive been using more creative structures rather than dileriants which as been helping me to involve in reality more so than once previous, as well as that i experiance flashbacks it appears on a daily basis of shifting paterns and objects, distortions in size shapes and hue, as well as tracers, aka trails...----...

Dph-Static like aftereffects as well as after images, framented sentances used about 60 times
2ce-visuals include hue changes as well as light paterning 5 trips, one was 40mg and 4 addrol
lsa-merging florals and fractls on daily basis as well as hightened color sence
Datura- out of it feeling, dream-like sensation, slight dimentia used approx 9-13 trips
Dxm-creative-like thoughts, disacociation at times of stress, use approx 200-300 times in life
Psilocibon-more so the issusionistic effect of paterns remains present under times of stress.-even after the 6 mo. duration it was talked about that it would take the fx of hppd from mushrooms to wear off., use in two summers, one summer was almost every day
Jwh-posh, etc. use of only for a few months then stopped afteri noticed the bad effects that came from its use
Savia-strange unusual out of body creative like dreams occure to me in the first stages of waking up, maybe it could be savias past experiances, used 20x about 4 times and 40x 3 times.
Nutmeg-use approx 15-25 times during life
Psuedo Hcl and Phen Hcl-in combination with Psilocibon trip and few dxm and dxm-dph trips created an impact on the visuals of Hppd indefinantly.

In the morning my hppd runs rampunt almost as if i am in another trip, lack of cordination until i wake fully as well as strange and unusual observations in thought and vission, during the night, it appears that more of a dph and lsa mixture appears with alot of differances from them also. its hard to tell what exactly i am percieving but it is always something new and interesting to influence my painting and music. THC definantly increases these effects, alcohal seams to releive them as well as anti-anxiety medication, it seams opiates also make them more active for some reason i am not sure, but ive tested this thoery many times. At times i convince myself its almost a metamorphesis of Hppd and Schitzophrenia, as well as multi-personality disorder or something, but these feeling subside as i go about scrapping metal and odds and ends of such.
 
came here because of that damn lighter again :D
So it goes like this: I have 2 really bright/neon like lighters and every time they are in my vision they flash, its the only way to describe it.
I have constant 'buzzy vision' whenever I close my eyes, in the dark its more pronounced though, swirling patterns and constant grid like effects.
All this can be intolerable if i'm lacking in sleep or stressed out. During really bad spells in my life I have got severe depersonalisation/derealism that has lasted from weeks to months and in the worst case a few years.
Over time it has got better, sometimes I even enjoy it a little (not the depersonalisation). I havn't taken acid or hallucinogens for over 15yrs and quit a very heavy weed addiction 8years ago now. Things have got slowly better but have kinda plateaued out over the last 6yrs and looks like I'll have this forever. But like I said I have learnt to live with it as much as possible, sometimes I totally trip out and I had auditory hallucinations still every now and again.
I spose I really hit the shrooms and acid hard in my youth, doing up to 6 hits a day or shrooms every day for prolonged periods of weeks for a good 6 years, while taking about everything else under the sun too :D
Last time I took acid was at Glastobury festival in 98. did 2 micro dots and lost my mind for nearly 3 weeks, I lost my friend there and there were police and dogs everywhere, it kinda tipped the balance and I remember wandering around naked cos I thought my clothes were on fire - next thing I can remember was getting turfed out the festival a week after it finished then sitting on Glastonbury tor in a sleeping bag, wow fucking micro dots are the bomb!
I definately have Hppd, I cant get drunk or high, or go for too long without sleep otherwise I trip right out, everything gets buzzy and I'm totally out of it. I now have an anxiety disorder and depression for which I have been on regular meds for a good 12yrs. I'm ok on a good day and a mess on a bad day.
The good news though, even though I have an appalling short term memory now and can't concentrate for long periods of time I have 2 kids and I'm about to complete university doing a science degree, so things must have improved!
Good luck everyone :)
Peace
 
Hey erbie, yeah you're right similar stories. I can't send you a longer message for 3 hours but I'll try and remember it'd be good to chat more. I'm actually stoked to find someone else in the UK with this problem. Interestingly a counsellor friend I spoke to the other day has pointed me at a UK psych who knows his shit, unfortunately I'm currently unable to fund his quite large fees!!, but I can work on getting the money out of local NHS since I 'work' for a drug user activist group). Be good to talk offline if you're interested.

Right now the biggest issue having opened up about this is remembering I am sane and have coped (admittedly in some pretty mad ways for 20 yrs!!) its hitting me hard in the insomnia!!! (says he at 5am after trying to push 'round the clock from uhhhh 2 days ago and crashing about 8 last night)
 
I have suffered this problem for twenty years but everything seems better now. My eyesight has always been brilliant, it was last tested several years ago and it was clear 20/20. However, the illness of HPPD plagued me badly except to evolve mentally over time. There is anxiety and depression along the way so high-CBD cannabis in moderation is a substance to treat HPPD. Also stretching and swimming (with goggles) is helpful. Healing the mind's eye.
 
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