Oh my, oh my...even though I was absolutely sure yesterday -when i was high af on the FXE- that I neither can nor want to write something about that stuff atm, for various different reasons, nonetheless - here I am!
Oh my, oh my... it's been wild, to say at least!
One of the reasons that I didn't want to report back after giving it a first try was, that I had no scale at hand, which consequently means that I tested it - with an eyeballed dose...and that's just not how I remember myself to act, usually...
¡Usually!
Well, okay, I read about it beforehand, I believed in it, and so I consequently thought that I knew what I had to know, i.e. that the Fluorexetamine is said to be (somewhat forgiving and) not as potent as the good ole Methoxetamine is - let alone one of the methoxy/hydroxy PCP/PCE-derivatives...
This and my wide-ranging experiences (I think you know now why I was hesitant to submit anything about yesterday's encounters) from years of drug use and abuse, with substances of any kind, any nature as well as any damn potency, was enough (!) to completely replace any given conscientiousness I ever had!
Oh my, oh my...
Well then, just before we proceed and to make things clear: I was at least right about that, what I had in mind about being safe and sound besides any other given snares - though it nevertheless was really headless...
...and frenzied, oh yes, it was!
Retrospectively many things could have happened, bad things, fatal things that could have put the final nail in my coffin...but that's something I honestly don't wanna go into any more details about right now!
Whatever, just as headless as the eyeballed dosing was, as on grand scale was how I administered the Fluorexetamine: via intravenous administration!
The onset was more or less instant, and after I had administered myself the dose -of which I guess that was around 50mgs- I had to hurry somewhat pulling the needle outta the (right) femoral vein, cuz the rush that followed was massive!
It wasn't overwhelming and I was still in control of myself and the situation, but I also wanted to lay down as fast as possible - for obvious reasons!
What followed reminded me SO MUCH of the countless MXE experiences I had (until 2016), I for myself couldn't have tell any difference to how I remember these encounters with a chem, that's just unforgettable to myself and still vivid in my mind and my dreams.
It had all this classic weirdness, this goofy edginess, that's just as comforting as it's alienating to myself.
As i later tried to turn down the volume of the music that I'd chosen for this trip, I could barely walk neither was I properly able to get a grip on how to operate the friggin soundsystem, since it just made no sense anymore, like virtually anything else too.
Oh my...
I'm having two remotes lying around as well as my mobile phone, and if you know this classic disso desultoriness, you can possibly imagine what a hassle it took me till I finally found out how to at least stop the music, which was kinda overtaxing, although it's been music that I had especially chosen cause it's been accompanied me so indescribably often during my 'mexperiences' back in the days!
I dunno for sure and still believe there's room for this to change -even though it doesn't have to, tbh (!)- but as said, it just had simply everything I can remember about how the lovely MXE felt to me, in it's whole: I was there, at this exact same place no Ketamine nor any other compound besides MXE could 'bring' me to, and so it also brought back some 'classic' childhood memories, more specific even, the corresponding feelings (to undetermined events), as well as it just once again (!) gave EVERYTHING this very special, this very certain comical look, one I solely/only remember as a result of being intoxicated with the MXE and (to a certain limited extent also) 3-MeO-PCE!
This was remarkable and very unexpected, yet beyond my wildest cravings!
It was absolutely great and stunning, to say at least, and it felt beyond what words can tell, to me, personally - and it meant just so much to me, that I was really able/capable to head back and return to this place(s), sum place(s) of which never had the slightest hopes for to go 'back' to.
To be honest, I was 100% certain about that, till yesterday...and although this was a haunting experience, I'm also a wee bit unable to just cope with it, in it's entirety - but that's okay, and I know why that is!
I really don't know about you ppl, to be honest I really just don't care what you think right now, but I for myself love this FXE/Fluorexetamine - I really adore it!
Btw, that's how the synthesis/batch I'm having, looks like: