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Tell us about your date!

Cohesion

Cohesion

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,069
Who goes on dates anymore?

Growing up in u.s. college life, all I knew were house parties and hook ups. Right? I've been out of that scene for some years, and now I'm back & seeking something more sincere.

Dating websites give way to... yes... dates. This is a really fun algorithm.

_____________________________

Here is my date from last night:
We exchanged a little conversation online. We only saw one (not so great) photo of each other and that was fine. We were both looking for something to do. We met for drinks and planned for an early night (11PM). Right away we sat an talked for a half hour without ordering anything. It felt really good to do this.

He's a salsa trainer and we started talking about dancing.. so naturally we decided to find someplace to move around! Around 10PM we walked into a hip-hip DJ setting where we tried to do some bachata as it can be done at any 4/4 beat. Since I don't know salsa or bachata style and the hip hop was going on... I started moving around to what my body knows.. american grind style.. This was extremely fun and exhilarating to dance like this with him. He's only been in the U.S. for 7 months and we had been talking about this "style" of "dancing". Even if he has tried it before (he says he's only watched), neither of us do it regularly (it's been 6 years for me). It was basically like 3 hours of foreplay.

At 10 PM we were the only people in the place. Even the bartender was out for a smoke or something. By 12:30 AM I turned around and this place was filled with all black people.. a culture and interplay I'm not around very often.. it was such a different kind of night. It was great to open up the dance floor and watch it flood and seethe with sexy movers.

He asked twice to come back to one of our houses (once to offer, and once to confirm that I hadn't changed my mind or something). I couldn't even play with the idea. I don't want to have sex after drinking as it doubly dulls the experience. Also I had expressed to him that I didn't want to have sex with too many people, nor on the first date, and that I am open to FWB but not rushing into anything. I respect myself and it's important to keep my words and my actions aligned. I'd like to go (actual) salsa dancing with him tonight and consider him for a regular FWB after the new year.
_______________________________
 
Sounds promising :)

I went out on an actual "date" with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago. We went to this romantic restaurant and then we went to see this Christmas tree display thing. It was nice. I have actually NEVER been do a romantic restaurant or on that type of date before. I live with my boyfriend (been dating for like 2.5 years or something) and we never have. My ex (dated him for just about 3 yrs), never did anything like that. It was a fun "normal" thing to do.
 
It was nice. I have actually NEVER been do a romantic restaurant or on that type of date before.
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Exactly! Why has our "culture" dropped this custom? It is nice.
 
I regularly take my missus out to nice restaurants and shit. We rarely go out drinking so it's what we treat ourselves with instead. We like our good food :)
 
Has anyone ever been to dinner for a first date?

I have dinner and a movie planned tomorrow night. This is getting more and more traditional. I'm actually nervous about this one.
 
I have actually been pretty good about going on dates over teh years- will always take them to the reservoir, or to a hilltop, or for a walk in the forest, or possibly go shopping with them (did this a few weeks ago, and then let her know that I don't usually go shopping as I can't usually stand girls not being direct in their shopping technique).

However I have usually reserved dates for shy girls, and "come over and watch a movie" or "let's go out to the pub, then dancing" if they're not shy and are up for it.
 
Cohesion said:
Has anyone ever been to dinner for a first date?

I have dinner and a movie planned tomorrow night. This is getting more and more traditional. I'm actually nervous about this one.
Click to expand...

I went to macdonalds for lunch with a guy as our first date once, if that counts. lol
Tbh I don't really get the concept of 'dates' - nor do I really understand what 'date' actually means. Maybe it's cuz we don't have a translation/equivalent for it in my mother-tongue. But like if I go for a drink with a guy, couldn't that be a date?
 
^ yes - it could be...it all depends if you're attracted to each other or not. If not it's not a date, if one/both party is, it's a date until they work out the other is/isn't attracted :p then it's potentially just awkward haha :D
 
B1tO'RoughJack said:
^ yes - it could be...it all depends if you're attracted to each other or not. If not it's not a date, if one/both party is, it's a date until they work out the other is/isn't attracted :p then it's potentially just awkward haha :D
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Hahaha. Yeah so date basically just means two people doing something together knowing they're interested in being more than friends?
 
Cohesion said:
Has anyone ever been to dinner for a first date?

I have dinner and a movie planned tomorrow night. This is getting more and more traditional. I'm actually nervous about this one.
Click to expand...

Yep, a few months ago. We went to a really nice place - he clearly wanted to impress me, and he did. Shame he got back with his ex-wife after our second date (he cooked dinner at home). We stayed friends, got a Christmas card with his family photo on it, lol.

Other times also. It doesn't take money to make a memorable first (or any) date.
 
cohesion; im so happy to hear that your first date was successful; it sounds very spontaneous, exciting and fun.

maybe trying something a little more traditional; while seeming awkward considering the polarity between that and the first exciting date seems a little intimidating; i have my fingers crossed for you that it will allow for a little more intimacy and even fun for you both. traditional isnt boring necessarily; while both parties make effort to make any situation; even the mundane, fun and carefree.

good luck and keep us updated <3

...kytnism...:|
 
Dates are too much effing pressure for me...I only went to TWO dates in my life, the rest were all hookups...

sounds great to me...
 
Mariposa.. It's nice to stay on good terms and you can laugh about receiving the Christmas photo. When you accepted for the second date.. going to his home.. were you concerned about his motive to get you into bed?

kyntism.. Thanks <3 Actually these are all different men. So only I will experience the polarity between the "feel" of the dates. I'm still nervous about the dinner & movie.. but I don't have to be.. yes.. it will be fun and carefree (repeats..)

____________________________
Last night I met a different guy for drinks at the great beer pub nearby. He is 8 years younger than me. His photo was maybe cute (nice eyes) though the angle was "artistic" and vague. He was into the same bands, style, books, and is also vegetarian.

He was seated right before me. I walk up to the table and he looks nice and well put together, but not attractive to me. It was fun to get a little drunk on good IPA (it's been months!) at one of my old favorite pubs with a young guy. It felt very reminiscent. Good, free, non-judgmental conversation.

I'm going on the maximum number of dates in order to get practice for the important ones. . . see
Tonight! !
 
Cohesion said:
Mariposa.. It's nice to stay on good terms and you can laugh about receiving the Christmas photo. When you accepted for the second date.. going to his home.. were you concerned about his motive to get you into bed?

kyntism.. Thanks <3 Actually these are all different men. So only I will experience the polarity between the "feel" of the dates. I'm still nervous about the dinner & movie.. but I don't have to be.. yes.. it will be fun and carefree (repeats..)

____________________________
Last night I met a different guy for drinks at the great beer pub nearby. He is 8 years younger than me. His photo was maybe cute (nice eyes) though the angle was "artistic" and vague. He was into the same bands, style, books, and is also vegetarian.

He was seated right before me. I walk up to the table and he looks nice and well put together, but not attractive to me. It was fun to get a little drunk on good IPA (it's been months!) at one of my old favorite pubs with a young guy. It felt very reminiscent. Good, free, non-judgmental conversation.

I'm going on the maximum number of dates in order to get practice for the important ones. . . see
Tonight! !
Click to expand...

Just take it as it comes :) Glad to hear you're doing well on the man front ! And good luck for tonight :D
 
A scholarly black man nearly twice my age developed an infatuation with me once. I made it clear to him I couldn't be bought, but he would always insist he just wanted to get to know me better and thought I was interesting, or something. So I called his bluff by letting him take me to a few nice meals, but by the time the bottle of wine was almost done he would always be talking about how much he loved to fuck young feminine white guys like myself and shit. One time I allowed him to walk me to my home in his drunken state, but as predicted he turned around becoming afraid of the part of the neighborhood I lived in before we got there lol. This pretty much all ended in a phone call where I told him I didn't believe he just wanted to get to know me, as we were not really connecting at all over our dinner talks, and I really felt no attraction to him. He has tried to call me since then, but I haven't answered.
I am pretty much a slut anyway non of any of this would have been necessary if I was the slightest bit attracted to him.
That about sums up my experience going on "dates"
 
Oh look, a thread to talk about tonight's date in :)

It went ok! He was absolutely stunning. The most gorgeous man ... ever ... just heart-stopping ...

Unfortunately it was something short. He drove an hour to meet me and arrived around 8:15. Since it was Sunday night, the restaurant we checked out (Thai) was closing their kitchen right after we sat down. So dinner was rushed. Fortunately, it was far from my house so we had a lot of time to talk in the car (to and from). We talked some about what we are both looking for in dating/relationships. God he was just beautiful.

He pulled in front of my house, I hugged him goodbye, lingered, and he went to kiss me. I kissed him a tiny bit but gave him this look.. like.. you are bad.. Just because he is so damn good looking he thinks he can do whatever he wants!

I wanted to see him again and hopefully have him as a FWB. I know if I slept with him tonight I would NOT see him again. At least that's the experience I have had when it comes to having sex right away/giving it up easily. I hope I didn't ruin my only opportunity to have sex with the man of my dreams. Shit.

Tomorrow night is NYE.. let's see what I can dig up! Who has dates planned for tomorrow ?!
 
Sounds good dude ^ If he's worth your trouble he'll hang around, you sound like you've got your head screwed on. And if he comes back for more you know you might have a keeper :)

I don't think it's bad to kiss on the first date. When I got with my missus she slept round cause she missed her last train. We both laid in bed and neither of us made a move ! Cringe! Got the kiss I wanted on her way out though, wrapped in my duvet, with a muggy hangover, stale breath and bed hair.

Who said romance was dead?

You playing the field at the moment then?
 
It's not bad to kiss on a first date, but I really, *really* like him... So I want him to take me a little seriously.

He is from India. In that country it's very rare for people even to go on dates... let alone kiss.

I'm playing the field but I hope to find a FWB or boyfriend soon.
 
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