Not so good BostonBrownTown.
I dunno wtf im going to do, my motivation and energy has been at all time low since the bupe bings 6 days ago left my system, today i could barely be arsed to move let alone do anything productive.
I found a tub with about 2 tablespoons of poppy pod powder in it. Id had enough of feeling like shit, so i had 1 tablespoonfull earlier on, and how nice did that feel. Figuring its best to prevent another relapse im just finishing the remainder off now.
I dont know wtf im going to do if i dont get a job soon, I'll have to start ebaying everything, downgrading everything ive upgraded, maybe sell my house, and find somewhere to rent where the interest from the house sale covers the rent, bills and living expenses. Might have to move to a poorer country to do that. Its an absolute bastard trying to quit opis it robs you of all energy, motivation, ideas, inintiative, everything. I wonder how long it takes for all this to start recovering.
Its only with the aid of this powder that ive been able to order everything I'll need for the next month, and got thoroughly cracking on the washing up too. Ive also felt so much warmer today, been freezing for the last few days. It seems to be true that opiates keep you warm. I sometimes wonder if its worth all this lethargy to give up opis, i hate being chained to anything, but how fucking long does it take to get over this ?
Hopefully my masterplan will come into play tonight, ive got 95 % of my dirty dishes from the kitchen soaking in that 99.9 % germ killer stuff. Hoping for a huge energy boost in the next hour or two to get all that blitzed and all the spare stuff is going into storage, and im just keeping the bare minimum in use; 1 plate, 1 bowl etc. This will prevent washing up mountains building up all the time.
I wish I knew the answer to the question about motivation, I guess I have to give time, time. My timing in terms of the time of year to quit could absolutelty not have been worse. I didnt plan to be qutting at this time of year, it was all supposed to be over by April or something. Do you re-gain energy by rest and recuparation or forcing yourself out and about to get some excercise, like walk for at least 1 hour per day or something ?
Im not gonna loose my head any more than its allready lost lol, its incerdible, the tea is kicking in and im immediately feeling far more positive about everything. I reckon this dose will see me good for 48 hours, and then back to the fucking grind all over again. I know it's only been 6 days, i need to be more patient, and get things into perspective better.
(almost) ex opi dependant person seeks advice from some sage who has been through this and recovered.