bees_knees
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2013
- Messages
- 166
Yeah derealization, depersonalisation and inability to differentiate what you imagine or think about from what is really happening (you have a thought that maybe the government is run by aliens and all of a sudden it just seems to be the case, there's no differentiating that thought from the other reality-testing thought 'the government is just people', they are equal), are all hallmarks of what we're calling schizophrenia for now. I think of it as a kind of descent into yourself, where you kind of dissolve into your mind, and the other hallmark fragmentation of the mental processes becomes quite apparent. You can't be sure where you are in all this, where your thoughts are, what is 'imagining' what is 'reasoning' what is 'deciding'. It's all a kind of no one's home but still something is happening. You mildly drift in some timeless absenteeism and emotionlessly go about some kind of 'day' (eat, games, sleep, music, sleep, murmur to family something for a while that seems like it's supposed to be conversation, sleep).
The cannabis was basically an episode from maybe 10 to 20 seconds after I exhaled the smoke from the bong. It persisted for an hour, then residually for 2 hours, then there was just flat affect, depersonalisation, derealisation, a kind of emotionless meaningless dream. Those negative symptoms persisted but the positive symptoms generally faded away. This may have only been because I was socially isolated, as when I started university not knowing I was schizophrenic there was INTENSE anxiety in public places, which later I realised was INTENSE paranoia. You don't even notice the change...
The cannabis was basically an episode from maybe 10 to 20 seconds after I exhaled the smoke from the bong. It persisted for an hour, then residually for 2 hours, then there was just flat affect, depersonalisation, derealisation, a kind of emotionless meaningless dream. Those negative symptoms persisted but the positive symptoms generally faded away. This may have only been because I was socially isolated, as when I started university not knowing I was schizophrenic there was INTENSE anxiety in public places, which later I realised was INTENSE paranoia. You don't even notice the change...