• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

RIP knock

Been reading EADD for around 2 / 3 years now... always liked Knock... god he kept this place together... he devoted so much time to this place

Won't be the same without him

Rest In Peace
 
Sad to hear this, I haven't been active on my account since ditching the old one like a year ago or something. Especially after deaths of Mugz since I had met them personally.

Please look after yourself people, I have a lot of worry for both close friends in real life and people on these forums. <3

RIP Knock, hope you are in a better place.
 
I've just prayed that his family gets some sort of comfort though I don't know possibly has but I pray every night n I had to include them (I'm sorry if people don't believe in God its just something I needed to do) xxxx

I just can't imagine EADD without Knock. I keep expect it to be some sick joke n see him posting (I so wish it was).

A caring, empathic, thoughtful, consider person will has left a hole in our hearts forever.

He took a few hours answering a PM for me once - going through posts. Explaining things n getting me to see things from others' perspective. I don't know many people, let alone mods, who would go to the trouble to help another member on BL.

Rest happily with the angels, Knock.
Gone but never forgotten by any of us xxxx
 
kate said:
No <3

Please make this not true, come back.

Every one who passes from here, makes me hate and resent this place more and more. My trust and faith in what it stands for has gone :( It was me who talked him into being a mod, me who nudged him and mailmonkey and others. I knew he'd be great, But too many take on that responsibility and it ultimately helps tip things over. I've not seen a real eadder yet who got modded up and took less drugs. There is and has been for a long time something seriously wrong, here in eadd and elsewhere in BL.

Fucking amazing guy, what a loss to his family and friends, I'm so sorry.

You are in my thoughts <3
Click to expand...

Kate, You did a good thing. He loved modding the site and in doing so helped a lot of us in return. Knock was a great guy and pretty head strong so if he thought that modding the site was having a negative effect on his own life he would have simply stepped down (I believe this 100 percent).

There is going to be a lot of questions, rumors, anger and hate around 'Knocks' passing - you asking him to become a mod is never going to be part of that <3

Bear
 
Knock's final words to me <3

knock said:
Thank you Pete. That is very kind of you :)

Yes I think you're right. I was not told that marmz thing was the reason for getting the boot. I was told it was because I "find it difficult to get on with people, especially EADD members and senior staff" and that I "show no regard for Bluelight policy". Haha! Yes it's clear that seniors just wanted rid of me and they needed a reason.

It was a bit of fun. I won't miss the BL bureaucracy much. I will miss working with you and snolly, and I was really looking forward to working with Shammy and Josh! I think you do a great job, by the way, perhaps a teensy bit snippier and closier than my own approach, but just a teensy bit :D, and when you get flak for it you take it like a man, and you listen to, and care about, the members, which are the two most important things to do. So keep on keeping on! I do hope Shambles and RJ are taken on as I think the four of you will be fucking fantastic.

Cheers

Michael
Click to expand...

<3<3

I loved you knock. I still do. I miss you so much already. I know you wouldn't have wanted me to resign, but it's the only way I can get away from the pain I feel in EADD now. It's all just bickering, arguing, and all for what? Harm reduction?? EADD is not healthy, its community is toxic, and I need to get away from it all and sort my own life out which has come down around me over the last month. EADD can be fixed, and knock, you were the guy to fix it. Without you I really wouldn't know what to do, other than simply act as sponge for other peoples' embitterment and frustration.

I can't keep on keeping on, and I'm really sorry knock, but I hope you understand and can forgive me for buckling <3 :( I hope I haven't let you down; I hope you can understand.

I will never forget that first PM you sent to me, when I was down in the dumps with my MXE addiction, about how I reminded you of your nephew and felt something of a maternal instinct to look after me and make sure I was alright. It was the first time anyone had expressed any form of compassion towards me and the issues I was facing at the time. You were there for me at a time when I needed you, and it has been an honor to work with you this past year because I knew I was working with the man who cared about me and understood me, sometimes I think better than I understand myself. It breaks my heart to know you've gone.
 
Last edited:
fuck..... not knock :(
<3

RIP mate, you spoke to me in my time of need, i wish i could of re-paid the debt
 
I don't know what to say, this is absolutely shocking news.
Knock helped so many people in so many ways. He was a truly caring person, who would go out of his way to help anyone in their time of need.

Knock, Rest in Peace. <3
 
Albion said:
I loved you knock. I still do. I miss you so much already. I know you wouldn't have wanted me to resign
Click to expand...

So don't :).

For the rest of the people posting in here, either back off or shut up. If its a true HR stance then post your concern but stop the bitching!
 
Last edited:
Terribly, terribly sad news.

He was a good guy who had his problems but had a cracking sense of humour too. A real loss.

Don't know what to say other than that really. What a tragic forum this is.
 
RIP knock. Truly enjoyed reading your posts and social - economical views of the world.

I think Marx and Adam Smith have found good company to have a debate with ;)
 
I've thought about this all weekend, my tenancy to let friends drift away or just plain cut people off is something I work on but donlt have a great deal of success. I had been meaning to contact Michael, I loved his knowledge of things technical and more so his ability to disagree so completely without ever making me feel my opinion was on no value.

It was also very clear to me that he had suffered depression for quite sometime, I notes him playing it down but the indicators were there for me at least and where not getting better. I fully accept that we are all different and I may well have read into things based on my own illness, but one thihs I ca be very sure of :-

Nothing that happened aqt this site would have made him end his life, suicide ( if that is what happened just isn't that simple)

He loved this place and really put himself on the line to try and change certain aspects of the site in a way he believed wouid be for the benefit of all, he welcomed the debate and understood that such things are a vital part of change.

I doubt anyone has any blame to bear, although many carry the sadness, I've noted a few snide remarks here and there, this is an insult to Michael and maybe we should all review such grievances and consider making the first move on making them right, life is patently way too short.

<3<3
 
I wont be posting in the thread again ... but I'll leave Michael's last words to me, because I think they're relevant,


knock said:
I think I probably need to earn an infraction, it's a badge of honour now you've got one.

Admin wanted rid of me. They just needed an excuse. That's all. I gave them one, they used it.

You have no reason to feel bad about anything here. None whatsoever :)
Click to expand...

Miss you fucking TONS Michael <3.
 
i dont know what to say really, but thought id post out of respect.

he was my favourite mod and a really funny, intelligent guy.

this didnt have anything to do with hid demotion, surely? but i know he wasnt into anything that could be fatal if od'd (except gbl).

eadd wont be the same....
 
Why do the best members die? That's what I want to know.

R.I.P Knock I didn't chat to you much but our interests were very much aligned. Drugs/Politics and Technology. Always enjoyed your posts :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top