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promiscuous girls, turn off or turn on?

I guess I'm the ninth guy my gf has had sex with. Doesn't bother me at all really, I have slept with girls with WAY higher bang stats. I kinda like that she has something to show me in the sheets, shes really amazing at sex actually.. The first time we boned I was on shrooms and for some reason with her I'm actually good at sex. I've never been good at sex before.... I used to actually be bad at sex. There's also a very strong emotional connection between us both, we smoke weed together, planning on taking acid together soon... She's never cheated on anyone either and she claims to much prefer a steady relationship to random flings so I'm gonna keep her around on the basis of being a sexy woman and an awesome person to be with........ I'd be missing out a whole lot if I had let her past ruin my mental image of her. Not gonna lie it can be awkward when she runs into an ex but she knows not to go there, I'm entirely confident that if she NEEDED to get banged by another guy she'd break up with me first... We've talked over the whole cheating thing quite a bit. Did I mention I fucking love this girl?
 
Such a difference between being a slut (I'm just using the term as western society seems to define it), and being promiscuous. I've known some really promiscuous chicks, some who even labeled themselves as 'sluts', but they were ethical sluts. I know that quite a few of them have found the right person, that they had more than just a physical connection with, and are living happily ever after. A high number of partners doesn't equal someone who will cheat on you, I've only dated girls with way more experience than me, they're great; they know what turns them on, gets them off, and you know if they keep fucking you, than you must be doing something right!
 
citizen cained said:
ok so I find that the more guys a girl has been with, the less I feel attracted to them, for example I can be talking to a girl in a pub and feel everything is going well then she could mention "I have been with 13 guys" and I will be turned off completely and lose interest in said girl whilst thinking to myself "slut" or "easy"
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Thats exactly how i feel! i was with a girl once, i thought she was amazing! like the perfect girl for me! but the more i was with her, the more things came to surface that she had kept quiet from me, you know, slaggy things.... It got to a point where i still loved her but didnt feel attracted to her at all, didnt want sex or want her near me like that...
dont get me wrong, i still loved her, but that 'im really a slag' imagine i had completely put me off her. she didnt like it i wouldnt sleep with her and i ended up saying id rather be with her but her to fuck someone else than for me to! - say what you like but i dont want a girl pretend shes ok to then turn out to just be a slag!
everytime that something slaggy had happened it was when she was 'drunk, at a party' or there was a reason behind it! fuck off! i aint buying into that!
 
Legerity said:
Why is a woman that sleeps with lots of guys considered slutty? No difference between a guy that sleeps with tons of people or a girl that does.
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I know it seems double standards, as Iv slept with alot of girls, i dont denie it, the older i get the more i tend to keep it under wraps, when my ex gf found out about my past, she made a decision about how she felt about me... same as i did when i found out her true colours... we just had different views. she accepted my past, but the way i found out about hers n the amount she had lied to me about and the severity of her past i made my decision. hence why shes an ex i guess!
 
It doesn't really matter to me, personally.

I know she will never forget me, regardless of how many partners she may or may not have had.
And that's really all I want.
 
Promiscuous girls are a major turn off for me. Maybe it's my lack of copious intimate relationships, but sex should be something special and not done with just anyone, and certainly not for a one night stand kind of thing.
 
citizen cained said:
I admit I am insecure hence why I said in the post that I am prob worried about just being another etch on the bedpost although I don't understand when you say "yet another attempt to be a brain" where are the previous "attempts"? Not really sure what you are trying to achieve with that post?
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i cant really remember either as i was drunk at the time of posting ( i think i was being an arse, on behalf of sluts everywhere), BUT i still think that its ridiculous to invent a formula to somehow justify your own fear. thats the really annoying bit.

also this kind of question comes up on dear cupid A LOT and it seems to wreck lots of presumably otherwise successful relationships for no good reason.
 
If I like the girl it doesn't matter to me if she's promiscuous or not but I prefer a girl that is not sexually inhibited and enjoys sex even if that means some people would find her "slutty".
 
citizen cained said:
ok so I find that the more guys a girl has been with, the less I feel attracted to them, for example I can be talking to a girl in a pub and feel everything is going well then she could mention "I have been with 13 guys" and I will be turned off completely and lose interest in said girl whilst thinking to myself "slut" or "easy"

Not sure why this is, maybe it's the feeling that I will make less of an impact on a girls life as I am "just another etch on the bedpost" or maybe it's that I feel that she is more likely to cheat or has low self respect/esteem (a turn off for me).

I tend to have a rule: take a girls age and divide by 4, the figure you get is the most amount of sexual partners she should have had before becoming too "slutty" for my liking (give or take)

This isn't a problem for me at all but I was wondering if other guys feel the same?
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I think most guys might feel like this about a girl if they are wanting to fall in love with this girl and have a long-term relationship with just her. I had a relationship once where it was just sex only, NSA. We would get together from time to time to have sex and just make ourselves feel good. During the times between when we saw each other, we both agreed not to discuss what we did in the meantime. I was not really seeing anyone else at the same time and neither was she I think but we did not worry about that. We both just wanted sex from each other so we both would get together to give each other what we wanted. I think many porn stars have the ability to easily do this. They simply have sex for fun while taking the love emotion out of it.:)
 
addictivepersona said:
Promiscuous girls are a major turn off for me. Maybe it's my lack of copious intimate relationships, but sex should be something special and not done with just anyone, and certainly not for a one night stand kind of thing.
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My point exactly

RedAlert17 said:
I think most guys might feel like this about a girl if they are wanting to fall in love with this girl and have a long-term relationship with just her. I had a relationship once where it was just sex only, NSA. We would get together from time to time to have sex and just make ourselves feel good. During the times between when we saw each other, we both agreed not to discuss what we did in the meantime. I was not really seeing anyone else at the same time and neither was she I think but we did not worry about that. We both just wanted sex from each other so we both would get together to give each other what we wanted. I think many porn stars have the ability to easily do this. They simply have sex for fun while taking the love emotion out of it.:)
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Agreed, I tend to chat up a girl who I plan to date, if I was to go out looking for a NSA relationship or one night stand I wouldn't care how many people she has been with. It seems that it only affects me when I develop feelings for a girl or had feelings for her in the past.

pofacedhoe said:
i cant really remember either as i was drunk at the time of posting ( i think i was being an arse, on behalf of sluts everywhere), BUT i still think that its ridiculous to invent a formula to somehow justify your own fear. thats the really annoying bit.

also this kind of question comes up on dear cupid A LOT and it seems to wreck lots of presumably otherwise successful relationships for no good reason.
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Lol it's not like I get my calculator out every time I find out about a girls sex history; thinking about it, it is pretty stupid, there are a lot of variables which will have to be taken into account i.e. the age they lost their virginity, whether or not the sex was all within an actual relationship etc.

It's a bit like the "youngest person you can date" formula (half your age and add 7) it's not like you find someone you like and then whip out the old calculator.
 
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I would much rather a girl be a slut that a "good girl".

Sex is to be enjoyed and discussed frankly, not mystified to the point of sucking at it. Yes, sex during a monogamous relationship carries a certain amount of pleasure due the the feelings we would have for each other, but good sex is good fucking sex and practice makes perfect.
 
Quoting myself

"Slut is a word invented by girls to make other girls feel bad, and life harder for guys"

That being said I tend to like less promiscuous girls, but that has more to do with personality and lifestyle than it does with sex.
 
The girl I'm seeing right now is very promiscuous, I love it. She's bi sexual and very sexually open. One of those girls you can bring around your homeboys and she fits right in.
 
I am not male, but I am a recovering slut, and I just wanted to say that women can, in fact, change. You may or may not be attracted to women with this sort of a past (which is completely fine either way), but I just felt that I should put it out there that the "once a slut always a slut" phrase does not hold validity to every woman. Many women get a bit neurotic and eager to explore their sexuality in their teenage years (the latter preferred to the former, of course, haha) and early 20's and sleep around for all the wrong reasons. Once the woman matures into a REAL woman and accepts responsibility for said actions, if she knows what is best for her, she will stop the promiscuous behaviour and use at as a tool for tremendous personal growth. Best of luck finding a woman of substance!
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what is your definition of a slut ?
 
I feel the same exact way to, a few nights ago I was with this girl and the whole night she was just talking about different guys she was with.
That's all she talked about the whole night. First of all I was very bored about it, because I really don't care who you slept with, and you don't have to talk about it for hours. It was a turnoff for me, beside being bored. She messaged me the next day saying I should call her sometimes. But I haven't, and I don't plan to. I just find it a turnoff when girls talk about past sexual experiences..
 
It's one of the last double-standards we have left, guys, please, don't blow it for us; a girl who has been with many different men is a slut, but a guy who has been with many different women is a mother fucking rock star! ;)

No, but seriously, I can understand how the OP feels. It doesn't excite me to know that the girl I'm about to sleep with has done this before, a million times before, maybe more times than even she can remember (and that's not good!) I don't want to be pulling the boots out from between a girl's legs, you know, from the last guy she just romped.

That being said, I have found that I care less and less about a partner's "number" the older I get. I won't ask, so please don't tell me... you know?
 
i don't ask because i don't care. if she was a freak in bed i'd make a couple jokes though.

in general though i am not attracted to people who can't stay disciplined, which having a ton of partners implies.
 
QuasiModo said:
I have slept with girls with WAY higher bang stats.
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lol @ bang stats. It made me think of a girl's picture on a something like a baseball card, checking out her bang stats and comparing it to other girls 'cards'. "This chick averaged 3.2 blowjobsperweek last year, but this other girl has six career threesomes!"

I view promiscuity as a turn-off indirectly, that is to say the girls I've come across in the past with high 'bang stats' have not been anyone I'd want to date for reasons that are independent of the number of people they've been sexually active with. (edit: This is similar to what Care was saying a few posts up.)

And contrary to popular opinion ITT: just because she's banged a bunch of dudes doesn't mean she's necessarily great in bed, nor does sleeping with a . . . selective number imply she's a dead fish.
 
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