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promiscuous girls, turn off or turn on?

citizen cained

citizen cained

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 25, 2010
Messages
507
ok so I find that the more guys a girl has been with, the less I feel attracted to them, for example I can be talking to a girl in a pub and feel everything is going well then she could mention "I have been with 13 guys" and I will be turned off completely and lose interest in said girl whilst thinking to myself "slut" or "easy"

Not sure why this is, maybe it's the feeling that I will make less of an impact on a girls life as I am "just another etch on the bedpost" or maybe it's that I feel that she is more likely to cheat or has low self respect/esteem (a turn off for me).

I tend to have a rule: take a girls age and divide by 4, the figure you get is the most amount of sexual partners she should have had before becoming too "slutty" for my liking (give or take)

This isn't a problem for me at all but I was wondering if other guys feel the same?
 
so pathetic. i think you are afraid of std's which is reasonable but also of being inferior to some other random shag of said "slut". making up a formula doesn't justify your stupidity. it just shows your insecurities wrapped in yet another attempt to be a brain.
 
Depending on the girls age, high numbers can be a bit of a turn off. But if i talk to the girl and get to know her, meaning it's not just a quick fuck, i can look past that easily. We are only human
 
pofacedhoe said:
so pathetic. i think you are afraid of std's which is reasonable but also of being inferior to some other random shag of said "slut". making up a formula doesn't justify your stupidity. it just shows your insecurities wrapped in yet another attempt to be a brain.
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I admit I am insecure hence why I said in the post that I am prob worried about just being another etch on the bedpost although I don't understand when you say "yet another attempt to be a brain" where are the previous "attempts"? Not really sure what you are trying to achieve with that post?
 
On the contrary, I find it quite arousing when a woman mentions that she's sexually very free and adventurous. I've always been just ashamed enough of this turn-on to never mention it to anyone, but I actually get wood if I overhear a chick talking about going out on the prowl. If I were still a single guy, and all I wanted was a lay or a friend with benefits, I'd take a well seasoned chick who loves sex and pursues it actively over an unspoiled delicate flower any day. The former is more likely to be able to separate sex and love, plus is likely to be better in bed. Pursuing the latter for casual sex is a lot likelier to end in feeling bad for doing that to her.

Interestingly enough, I was the first man my wife had penetrative sex with. This was not a big deal for me in any way. It didn't turn me on, the way it seems to for some guys. But nor did it turn me off. It made me relieved that I could be less worried about STDs or a former sexual partner reappearing in the picture. It also made me more reassured that I wasn't just the latest flavor of the month, and that she'd drop me for a newer conquest just as I'd fallen for her. But it wouldn't have bothered me if she was well experienced before me. It would just have taken me longer to trust and get serious with her.
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
The former is more likely to be able to separate sex and love
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I have that problem, as in I can't separate sex and love very well, I won't just leave, I would want to cuddle and spoon. Maybe the reason I find them a turn off is because I am seeking a relationship and not a one night stand, I see sex as special and not something that you should just do for the hell of it, I only have sex with people who mean something to me so perhaps if a girl has had a lot of sexual partners I feel that sex is nothing special to her and therefore am turned off by this.
 
I am not male, but I am a recovering slut, and I just wanted to say that women can, in fact, change. You may or may not be attracted to women with this sort of a past (which is completely fine either way), but I just felt that I should put it out there that the "once a slut always a slut" phrase does not hold validity to every woman. Many women get a bit neurotic and eager to explore their sexuality in their teenage years (the latter preferred to the former, of course, haha) and early 20's and sleep around for all the wrong reasons. Once the woman matures into a REAL woman and accepts responsibility for said actions, if she knows what is best for her, she will stop the promiscuous behaviour and use at as a tool for tremendous personal growth. Best of luck finding a woman of substance!
 
citizen cained said:
I tend to have a rule: take a girls age and divide by 4, the figure you get is the most amount of sexual partners she should have had before becoming too "slutty" for my liking (give or take)
Click to expand...

I think this also has to do with age. I think the younger a guy is, the more concerned he may be about the "numbers" than someone who is more mature. Numbers don't really matter. Sure, if someone has had a lot of unsafe sex, and hasn't gotten tested that is something to be concerned about but in general it just speaks about experience, and sexual prowess. Wouldn't you rather have a lover who knew what she was doing, and knew how to hit all your sweet spots?

And it also sounds like the stereotypical dichotomy many males wrestle with the Madonna/Whore duality that women are "supposed" to embody. Women are just as sexual as men are, so deal with it!

As I have gotten older I have actually stopped keeping track of the amount of sexual partners I have had. It is below thirty for sure, but I am not sure about the exact number. I used to care and kept a little list...but ehhh....a lot of those "partners" really weren't worth remembering. In the past few relationships we haven't even discussed the numbers. Its so irrelevant to what is going on currently with the person whom you are with right NOW.

And despite, what may seem like a high amount of previous partners I have gone through periods of celibacy recently and, as SideOrderOfOpiates noted, as I have gotten older, become much more discerning with whom I share myself with sexually. Sex is still very special, maybe because it involves such vulnerability.
 
munki said:
I think this also has to do with age. I think the younger a guy is, the more concerned he may be about the "numbers" than someone who is more mature. Numbers don't really matter. Sure, if someone has had a lot of unsafe sex, and hasn't gotten tested that is something to be concerned about but in general it just speaks about experience, and sexual prowess. Wouldn't you rather have a lover who knew what she was doing, and knew how to hit all your sweet spots?

As I have gotten older I have actually stopped keeping track of the amount of sexual partners I have had. It is below thirty for sure, but I am not sure about the exact number. I used to care and kept a little list...but ehhh....a lot of those "partners" really weren't worth remembering. In the past few relationships we haven't even discussed the numbers. Its so irrelevant to what is going on currently with the person whom you are with right NOW.
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I wholeheartedly agree, although I could count my partners on one hand.


'Slut' is just a label people use to put others down to make themselves feel more secure - be true to your ideals as long as you can make it work without hurting people, this is something that both dating couples and friends with benefits have trouble with.
 
Every girl I've been with has had way more partners than I have had. I've never asked for a number since I don't want to know, but I can tell by how they talk and what they say. Its not a turn off or a turn on for me. What's important is that she is enthusiastic in bed and open minded. However, I have found that girls who tend to be more promiscuous when single also tend to jump from guy to guy in terms of length of relationships as well.
 
I think it's sexy when girls seem a little promiscuous. It gives me the impression that they are sexual in nature, which is generally what I'm looking for. I'm sexual in nature too.
 
I don't find it a turn on or turn off, there are alot of factors that go into it though. some girls just go after nasty guys that you're like "wow she got with him, and him, and him, and all those dudes are dirty, nasty mofuckers." that would be gross. If a girl has had many sexual partners and is free of STDs than I don't really see a problem. It's not a turn on or a turn off. It's just sex, I think alot of guys have a double standard about these things, they can go out and hook up with however many girls they want to but as soon as a girl is just trying to find a good lay she is labeled as a slut and rumors start circulating and all that shit.
The only thing that really matters is that a girl is clean of STDs and hasn't fucked another guy in a few days. I do think it is gross when a girl fucks more than one guy in a weekend or whatever.
 
1.) I won't ask, as it's not my business with anyone I'm not serious with, and perhaps not even then.
2.) Wear a shield.
3.) I'll say this much; I don't know if I find promiscuity a turn on, but I do find someone so uptight or repressed that we end up fumbling around the sack like idiots a turn off. In other words, I'd rather a girl be better at it than I am, multiple partners or not.
4.) In short: a non-issue.
 
I kind of know what you mean. I'm not into the "one night stand" thing so I'm not looking for guys who are too. But the thing is, just because my bf has had sex with a ton of girls (more than his age divided by four), it doesn't mean that he's still doing that. When he's with me, he's with me. If you have developed a relationship with someone before sex, so you know it's not just a "fuck buddy" type thing, then the number should not be a big deal. I was a bit worried when I found out my bf had been with many girls. But I soon figured out it didn't mean that he was going to be with that many girls when he was with me.

Sex is fun though. If you're not in a serious relationship, I don't think it means that you should be sexless. I went from one serious relationship to another and was never really single for a long time. But I feel like if I became single again that I wouldn't just stop having sex! I like sex too much. I don't see anything wrong with enjoying sex and having sex even if you aren't in a relationship.
 
This is fucking bullshit dude...

OK it's how you feel - but that's my point - it's how YOU feel.

How many people have YOU slept with?

You obviously haven't been sowing your wild oats enough, and are feeling inadequate.

Hold your head high motherfucker!!! You have something (even if it's inside) which you can give someone, to everyone, that no one else can.

Fuck one night stands, if you find a girl, and she's slept with a bunch of people, make sure YOU're the best person she's ever fucked...a lil friendly competition. WICKEDNESS.

Go and fuck some, aye?

YES a girl who indiscriminately fucks anyone who smiles at her is unattractive and disgusting to say the least, but a girl who;s been around a bit? Usually makes for a better fuck in my book, tbh.
 
Why is a woman that sleeps with lots of guys considered slutty? No difference between a guy that sleeps with tons of people or a girl that does.

You can be attracted to whatever you want, I would just question the label that is assigned to them.
 
I love trashy hos with tats and piercings. The more guys they've been with the better because when you rawdog em it's like russian roulette only with your dick. Adds to the excitement of it all.
 
Legerity said:
Why is a woman that sleeps with lots of guys considered slutty? No difference between a guy that sleeps with tons of people or a girl that does.
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Who said guys can't be sluts? lol I don't think it's a bad term really. =D
 
I have had 2 sexual partners.

Maybe I was being a lil harsh when I said it would turn me off completely, if a girl said that she has had a lot of guys, I wouldn't be impressed but it won't be a dealbreaker as such, unless she just slept with anyone i.e. was "easy"
 
On the contrary. I wouldn't want to have sex with a virgin at all. I'm basically neutral in terms of arousal when it comes to the number of men she had. It's just that I like her to be experienced and I like her to know what she likes. Basically things that lead to better sex.
 
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