YB-
Read over these statements you've made. Pretend you're reading what someone else said, if it helps to keep you objective. And then think long and hard, my friend. Here you go:
"I have been using Percocet recreationally for about a month and had a plan to use once a week. But I recently got 10 10/325 generic Percocet (a333) and went through them in 2 weeks. Usually I only pop one 10mg but twice over the 2 weeks I did 15mg because 10mg wasn't as strong anymore."
"Also thank you everyone for the advice but I do not have the willpower to stop..."
"I find that I use them everyday now,yet it to still feels like I haven't used them for a long period of time the next day even if I used them the day before."
"I stopped myself from using them daily and I'm sticking to every other day 10-20mg's."
"I will definitely try to stop for a week to show that I could do it."
"I am very prone to addiction..."
"I have been trying to go a week without any oxy and so far its only been a day and ive been craving it a lot,yet have managed not to give in, but not sure how much longer that will last."
"I do plan to keep my tolerance under 20mg at all times by taking brakes if I notice that it's weaker."
"I'm at 20mg rn and have been using daily but I'm going to try and stop bc 2 days ago I failed a opiate drug test and said it was bs and I'll take another so the next day I drank a lot of water and passed bc technically the test is only supposed to test for morphine heroin and codeine. I know that I need to stop now."
"The reason I say I should stop now is that it turned into everyday which is the thing that everyone ik said would happen and I told them it wouldn't."
"I have been using daily again. I tried to stop and just drink for a few days after bc I had a bottle of tequila which I ended up drinking while on oxy. I used to only use it before school or at night time to try and avoid my parents but now I use it when I feel like it and have no problem around them as far as how I act."
"Today and yesterday I woke up with muscle weakness and cold sweats. It went away after I took oxy,is that physical addiction?"
"I stopped today (I actually just plan on taking a brake) and I haven't had any strong cravings but I did end up going to school pretty drunk. I only stopped because I have drug tests almost every Thursday afternoon."
"After this weekend I will quit for good hopefully."
"rn I'm on day 2 of withdrawals and their pretty bad but I was only up to 20mgs and on my last day that I used I used 80 mg for the entire day and I did say some stuff that I wouldn't have if I was sober but nothing to bad. I could only imagine how bad it would be for someone using 80+mgs at a time so I guess I really shouldn't be complaining bc I have it really minor compared to a lot of people. Tbh after a week or two I do plan on sticking to a every once in a while plan,I plan on sticking to it this time bc I know that if I don't I will be in for a terrible time and I guess I just had to experience it first to understand."
"Just finished day 4 of withdrawals and today they started to get better. I used NyQuil to help myself sleep because laying in bed for hours was complete torture. Hope I don't end up using to much and having to go through this again!!!"
"And another thing that's kind of weird,when I did quit it was easy bc I just kind of got board of it like the mental addiction just went away."
I put all of these quotes from you, in order, in ine place for you, so that you could read through them and see for yourself the inconsistencies. Perhaps seeing your statements, which swing from one thing to the opposite, which contradict one another, which illustrate how NOT in control you have been, will get you thinking clearly.
How others said you'd not be able to keep your use infrequent and it'd become daily; you said it wouldnt. It did. That you wouldn't do more than x amount. You did. How you thought, perhaps, you wouldn't become physically dependent. You did. How you went through withdrawals even after being warned. How you had no problem acting ok around others...until you did have a problem, saying things you wouldn't have otherwise.
And we have all told you how withdrawal gets worse the more you do and the longer you do it.
You say you will hopefully quit for good, then turn around and do it daily...then stop...then say you plan on using in the future, on a limited, occassional schedule....and now we've come full circle, right bavk to the beginning, where that was your initial plan. It didn't work. It won't work in the future.
I'm not trying to be cold, or mean, or harsh.
I'm trying, like everyone else here, to open your eyes...and quite possibly, save your LIFE.
Please re-read the progression of your statements above...and be brutally honest with yourself. This path will lead you nowhere, and FAST.
Please ...the last quote from you above...LEAVE IT AT THAT! That the mental aspect of feeling compelled to use has faded....let it fade, let it die, and don't turn back.
All the best to you my dear. Work on your insecurities...know everyone has insecurities and that facing your fears, even when unpleasant in the beginning, will pay off HUGELY by strengthening you, and making you wiser for the struggle.
You're a bright person. Don't throw away your future. Admit it when you're getting in over your head. It does not make you weak to acknowledge your mistakes. It makes you wise.
Peace.
stop this childish shit homie it's for the best man. Good luck, from,
