Man I took 4-AcO-DMT today but it might have been degraded, it was brown but not wet or gooey or truly fucked up looking or anything like that...
The dosage was 33 mg, still not sure if it is the fumarate as the label didn't say properly... I haven't been in contact with my source who is also a buddy and has a good webshop with this kind of stuff for a little while. Actually before this I tried this 4-AcO-DMT before and also 4-HO-MET in recent years and the 4-HO-MET also produced a plethora of side-effects some of which resembling an allergic reaction. There wasn't any signs of allergy with the 4-AcO-DMT but just like last time it was unlike I remember 4 sub trypts or mushrooms being. The trypt buzz was powerful but felt a bit uncomfortable, I got cold but a comforter wasn't helpful either, a pain when peeing (and frequent urination, but i have similar issues with other psychedelics like ETH-LAD nowadays), it's a bit hard to accurately describe all the side-effects but it felt icky and wrong. A lot may tie into unusual vasoconstriction... overall I'd describe it as malaise.
The psychedelic effects were pretty mild, although late into the trip I did get some very welcome catharsis I know all too well from psilocin, mushrooms or DMT. In the past often it involved confrontation with mortality and such existential or philosophical anxieties but those haven't been themes for me for a while now. It started with a beautiful sadness that I somehow wish would last forever, it developed into a sorrow and release of painful emotions and pent up personal difficulties. It was curious: I felt vulnerable like a newborn, stripped, yet I could tell I wanted to embrace it very much because of what I guess is the healing power of catharsis? I am by now conditioned to recognize and seek this state where in the past I might have been frightened and felt like I had things to lose. Illusions
I guess I am willing to try some 4 sub trypt in the future that is definitely not degraded [too much], and try to rule out that it is just how I react to these compounds now for some reason. I would also like to try mushrooms again to see if the problems are the same. But if this shit persists I am gonna have to give them up.
Has anyone had issues like these before? Before I thought that part of it were perhaps problems with me having anxiety problems and depending too much on substances to manage them, and that I would just get so many anxiety manifestations with these types of psychedelics. But I have actually managed to stop drinking and settle down with most other stuff too... I am doing relatively very well these days but I guess that wasn't the problem...