Benzos No self control w/ Klonopin

[Quere]

Man I just read this thread again and all the confusion over who was the OP was hilarious (no offense intended), I couldn't help but think about my buddy who was addicted to benzos (he had anxiety but often took too much also) who would constantly forget things but not realize he had forgotten.

So he'd be absolutely certain he did not owe me so and so many painkillers or whatever for the clons I gave him the day before.

It was frustrating at the time but thinking about it now cracks me up.

Oh and sobriety is overrated, I'd rather be happy and functional any day over being 'technically' sober

 

[cosmic charlie]

Was at point last year prescribed 60mgs a month for a pretty severe anxiety disorder I've dealt with pretty much forever along with bipolar disorder. I'd always end up blacking out for an entire week or two and coming out of it with a pissed girlfriend. Had the dosage cut to 15mgs a month by choice said I didn't take it much and now I just blackout a few days, and it's fucked. I feel so much better when I take it as described but once I get going I eventually cross the line.

it's past the point of asking her to hold them cuz I promised I'd never do it again. But I'm such a terrible addict when my psych mentions it I just clam up and let her keep writing even that little bit when I know it's a bad move. Last time I actually took it right 3 days but then drank Poppy Tea the interaction got me beyond sloppy. Gobbled the rest in a haze, which is extremely dangerous and I'm lucky no ill came of it. Needless to say I was in the dog house a couple weeks ago.

Get jealous when I read about people doing it right.
Wish I had more will power with this stuff, I really need it some days.

 

[Lucy20]

Can you put out your meds for the day and hide the bottle? Or get a trusted friend to give you your daily limit?

 

[cosmic charlie]

Can you put out your meds for the day and hide the bottle? Or get a trusted friend to give you your daily limit?

Thing is I live with my girlfriend and have no IRL friends pretty much that I hang out with here. Moved to another state two years ago and didn't know anybody. All the friends I do have are ones that were hers first.

I'm somewhat a loner, do to minor agoraphobia, spend all my time off work in the apartment most weeks.My best friends are from Bluelight. I've met lots of them in person over the years after we got really close.

 

[Quere]

Was at point last year prescribed 60mgs a month for a pretty severe anxiety disorder I've dealt with pretty much forever along with bipolar disorder. I'd always end up blacking out for an entire week or two and coming out of it with a pissed girlfriend. Had the dosage cut to 15mgs a month by choice said I didn't take it much and now I just blackout a few days, and it's fucked. I feel so much better when I take it as described but once I get going I eventually cross the line.

it's past the point of asking her to hold them cuz I promised I'd never do it again. But I'm such a terrible addict when my psych mentions it I just clam up and let her keep writing even that little bit when I know it's a bad move. Last time I actually took it right 3 days but then drank Poppy Tea the interaction got me beyond sloppy. Gobbled the rest in a haze, which is extremely dangerous and I'm lucky no ill came of it. Needless to say I was in the dog house a couple weeks ago.

Get jealous when I read about people doing it right.
Wish I had more will power with this stuff, I really need it some days.

initially when I read this I was like holy shit 60mgs clonazepam per day that is one monstrous tolerance lol

 

[Quere]

Thing is I live with my girlfriend and have no IRL friends pretty much that I hang out with here. Moved to another state two years ago and didn't know anybody. All the friends I do have are ones that were hers first.

I'm somewhat a loner, do to minor agoraphobia, spend all my time off work in the apartment most weeks.My best friends are from Bluelight. I've met lots of them in person over the years after we got really close.

Yo @Cosmic Charlie do you know what following actually does on BL? Token Irrelevant post.

 

[cosmic charlie]

It's a form of the the old Friend/Buddy system we have that carried over when the new software came out months ago. I'm still getting used to the new software but it truly is so much better for my tablet and phone. But pretty much what the following means is I wanna read your posts.

Your a great addition here

 

[Mycophile]

I don't think someone with daily use of Klonopin will be "normal"

People think you're sober, that's right, but this "sober state" is probably the "new you", that is, "the old you + the alteration in your personality induced by Klonopin"

"Normality" is a false social construct.

Yes, even if I only take Klonopin and not other stuff (which isn't true now haha..I use other stuff still...) I am not 100% drug free, but my point is that FOR ME I do not experience the level of consciousness alteration these other Klonopin users who abuse it describe.

I am not forgetful or slow, I don't become so uninhibited that I act in rash ways.

I am of course different than I'd be without it, but I do not feel myself to be "altered" when on Klonopin moreso than when on caffeine or after having a really good runner's high.

I feel my state of being is "different' than were I not on it, but not like if I was drinking or smoking weed or any other drug people get high on.

I may not be "sober 100%" but I'm not "high" or "impaired" either.

It's just the way I am now.

 

[Mycophile]

Over a decade ago I jumped from the roof of my apartment complex to my balcony trying to get inside my locked apartment after taking around 800mg of nordazepam powder (that batch led to someones death on here) perhaps a day or two earlier (its got something like an 8 day half-life). Shattered my ankle of course so its held together now with brackets and screws.

What I find particularly destructive about benzos is when I'm on them, my drug use skyrockets. Whats worse is that you never really end up feeling them...

That's very unfortunate, but 800mgs is obviously a high use and it sounds like you were obviously abusing them, which I DON'T do with my Klonopin, and my drug use does NOT increase when I use it.

There's use and there's abuse.

 

[jose ribas da silva]

"Normality" is a false social construct.

Yes, I am not 100% drug free, but my point is that FOR ME I do not experience the level of consciousness alteration these other Klonopin users who abuse it describe.

I am not forgetful or slow, I don't become so uninhibited that I act in rash ways.

I am of course different than I'd be without it, but I do not feel myself to be "altered" when on Klonopin moreso than when on caffeine or after having a really good runner's high.

I feel my state of being is "different' than were I not on it, but not like if I was drinking or smoking weed or any other drug people get high on.

I may not be "sober 100%" but I'm not "high" or "impaired" either.

It's just the way I am now.

I see, I understood your point, and what happens if you don't take it? (I am not speaking of withdrawal symptoms, I mean, you get really anxious without being in a treatment with it?)

 

[Mycophile]

Yeah you end up waking up and all your drugs are gone (without even remembering taking them, let alone enjoying them), you feel like shit and ppl are telling you about all the crazy shit you did last night

That's literally never happened to me only as a result of Klonopin.

The only time it once happened was when I stopped Klonopin for 9 months, lost my tolerance, went back on it at too high a dose and went out binge drinking and blacked out.

I've never had difficulty remembering things or blacked out or did anything nuts from Klonopin alone.

It's literally THE SINGLE ONLY drug I have never had a problem with LOL...so it's not like I'm some great example.

With everything else i usually have a lot of problems, but Klonopin just doesn't get me high so there's no enjoyment in taking more.

Everyone reacts differently, but I find nothing fun in taking more.

To the contrary, it will make me tired and groggy and I don't like that.

 

[Mycophile]

I see, I understood your point, and what happens if you don't take it? (I am not speaking of withdrawal symptoms, I mean, you get really anxious without being in a treatment with it?)

Well, it's been so long since I went a long time without taking it.

It lasts 12 hours and the half life is like 3 days so I would not go into WD unless I didn't take it for like 3 days, so I just take like 1.0--1.5mgs a day and forget about it and it's like whatever.

If I am not on a proper dose then EVENTUALLY I may start to get anxious, then take a little, then it goes away and that's it.

The biggest issue is that it makes me more tired and need more sleep and I don't like that and that's why I want to take less.

It becomes a problem too cause it makes me want to drink more coffee which makes me more anxious or makes sleeping harder and both make me need more Klonopin so I need to work on drinking less coffee.

But really, at this point, I just take about 1.5mgs a day and forget about it and go about doing whatever I was going to do.

No high, no forgetfulness, no crazy uninhibited behavior, and I crave drugs the same when I'm on it or not, which means yeah, lots of times I do, but then I've had long periods of "sobriety" from other drugs while taking Klonopin. It does not make me want to take other stuff more and I'm just myself.

It doesn't do anything "crazy" to me.

I might not be 100% sober, but I'm not high either.

It's the only drug I have never had problems with because it doesn't get me high and taking more just makes me feel tired and I don't like that.

It's only cause I have done many other drugs that I can say I don't feel myself as not being "sober" while on it.

But that said, when I have not been on it for a while and then I take it again I see the difference more, but it's still not a crazy huge difference in the same ways many others describe it.

Everyone reacts differently I guess.

 

[jose ribas da silva]

Yeah Everyone reacts differently, for instance, I don't like it. It puts me crazy, it is liking increasing my anxiety,inducing a terrible mindset.

Cloxazolam: Uses, Interactions, Mechanism of Action | DrugBank Online

Cloxazolam is a benzodiazepine with anxiolytic, sedative/hypnotic, muscle relaxant, and antiepileptic effects. It is marketed in the Argentina, Australia, Portugal, Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Germany, Taiwan and Japan -- mainly for...

www.drugbank.ca

Have you have heard about this one? Cloxazolam, it is only marketed in a few countries, but if you somehow can get one, uau, it will worth it

 

[Quere]

That's literally never happened to me only as a result of Klonopin.

The only time it once happened was when I stopped Klonopin for 9 months, lost my tolerance, went back on it at too high a dose and went out binge drinking and blacked out.

I've never had difficulty remembering things or blacked out did anything nuts from Klonopin alone.

That certainly wasn't directed at you myco btw.

I was referring to abusing benzodiazepines in high doses

 

[Mycophile]

That certainly wasn't directed at you myco btw.

I was referring to abusing benzodiazepines in high doses

Yeah I know.

It's all good.

 

[Mycophile]

Yeah Everyone reacts differently, for instance, I don't like it. It puts me crazy, it is liking increasing my anxiety,inducing a terrible mindset.

Cloxazolam: Uses, Interactions, Mechanism of Action | DrugBank Online

Cloxazolam is a benzodiazepine with anxiolytic, sedative/hypnotic, muscle relaxant, and antiepileptic effects. It is marketed in the Argentina, Australia, Portugal, Belgium, Switzerland, Luxembourg, Germany, Taiwan and Japan -- mainly for...

www.drugbank.ca

Have you have heard about this one? Cloxazolam, it is only marketed in a few countries, but if you somehow can get one, uau, it will worth it

No, there's a lot of benzos out there.

The only other ones I ever tried are Lorazapam and liquid Valium before surgery.

I've never once done Xanax which seems to be the most popular for getting high.

I have done Phenibut and F-Phenibut but they aren't exactly benzos.

I shouldn't ever probably try any other benzos since some might get me high and I might get into them and mess up my situation.

I think I am very lucky that Klonopin doesn't get me high or I'd abuse it and it would cause problems.

 

[Quere]

No, there's a lot of benzos out there.

The only other ones I ever tried are Lorazapam and liquid Valium before surgery.

I've never once done Xanax which seems to be the most popular for getting high.

I have done Phenibut and F-Phenibut but they aren't exactly benzos.

I shouldn't ever probably try any other benzos since some might get me high and I might get into them and mess up my situation.

I think I am very lucky that Klonopin doesn't get me high or I'd abuse it and it would cause problems.

Phenibut is pretty interesting.

Ordered a bucket of a years ago, had a much more intense effect than most benzos for me, was really good for knocking you out when you wanted to sleep haha

 

[Mycophile]

Phenibut is pretty interesting.

Ordered a bucket of a years ago, had a much more intense effect than most benzos for me, was really good for knocking you out when you wanted to sleep haha

Yeah, but you have to be REALLY careful not to use too much as it is very very addictive.

But I do like it.

There's a little still wearing off now that I'd taken last night.

It can last a very long time.

They say on the tub not to exceed 4,000mgs a week but I won't exceed 8,000mgs.

It you use it more than like 3 days a week MAX (and you can't do that regularly either) you are asking for BIG problems.

I've been careful (and lucky) enough so far to be ok but if I ever notice ANY problems i'll throw it out, but I don't see it happening as I know how I respond to it and weigh out and space out my doses at least relatively carefully.

Most people who end up with issues don't even write down what they take and when or even know, they just dive in, and you just can't do that with Phenibut.

 

[Quere]

Yeah, but you have to be REALLY careful not to use too much as it is very very addictive.

But I do like it.

There's a little still wearing off now that I'd taken last night.

It can last a very long time.

They say on the tub not to exceed 4,000mgs a week but I won't exceed 8,000mgs.

It you use it more than like 3 days a week MAX (and you can't do that regularly either) you are asking for BIG problems.

I've been careful (and lucky) enough so far to be ok but if I ever notice ANY problems i'll throw it out, but I don't see it happening as I know how I respond to it and weigh out and space out my doses at least relatively carefully.

Most people who end up with issues don't even write down what they take and when or even know, they just dive in, and you just can't do that with Phenibut.

Yeah it's definitely got potential for abuse and physical depenence

 

[Wilson Wilson]

Oh and sobriety is overrated, I'd rather be happy and functional any day over being 'technically' sober

I don't disagree, that's why the first thing I do when I wake up each morning is bosh a load of pills. I'm a lot more functional and just plain happier on my meds.

I'm still not "sober" though. The whole reason they do what they do is because they alter my mindset and mood, i.e. make me not sober. They are after all psychoactive drugs. Changing your state of mind is what they're for.