Benzos No self control w/ Klonopin

[percojerk]

What's up my fellow bluelights!! I am just in need of a little vent and input. I am on subs and kpins. I can manage my subs. However
My kpins usage is out of control. I get 60 1mg a month. I got my refill Friday the 28th . I sold 10. I have 8 left. Yes I am a retard. I've been on the same dose for 6 years from my family doc. Is anyone else out there as bad as I am? And can anyone offer advice to make them last? Its like I suffer 3 weeks a month every time!! I can't control myself. Today alone I took 9 w/ my 2 subs. Just a vent and cry for help. Love you guys!

 

[KS78]

I was like that with Xanax while I was using them. I used to get Diazepam at the same time but never went out of control like Xanax. This attitude towards Xanax effected my life, relationships very negatively and it was not easy stopping them, especially the craving was quite strong. I was lucky that I only got some brain zaps, anxiety (no panic attacks) and mood swings when I stopped using. I still crave them once in a while but basically don't try getting them. Also, my heavy use was just for about a year which might be the reason for not suffering heavier withdrawal symptoms. Good luck, stay safe.

 

[nuttynutskin]

You're not doing yourself any favors by abusing your meds and then going the rest of the month without it. Can you have a family member or loved one dispense you your meds?

 

[percojerk]

Sorry for the late reply. I forgot I even made this post . lol. I guess I can do that .

 

[FutureReference]

I agree that having a loved one supply them to you is the smart move. If they are being used for anxiety, and you take 1MG 2x a day for 2 weeks your body should get used to being on a proper dose. I am also on Clonazepam and I truly feel when I do not abuse them, they work better for the anxiety and PTSD. Just remind yourself that you will have to go without if you abuse them and nobody wants to deal with that. If you know you are abusing them for a recreational reason, I hope you are able to stop doing so. If they are not managing your anxiety properly anymore, talk to the doctor about a higher dose. Best wishes.

 

[Sertürner]

I used to do this while on subs and xanax as well. Then I got off the subs and was going through my script in less than a week, calling the doctor and getting another script because mine accidentally fell down the sink or somebody stole it and my dog ate it ect. I eventually couldn't handle the rebound symptoms and the stomach pain that the xanax was treating so I would take them to stop the WDs I would get. My body and mind eventually realized I needed them to function in society and now I dont abuse them anymore.

It's weird how I didnt have to use too much willpower to get it under control, it was as if my brain just knew what it needed to do and I was able to to slowly stop abusing them over the course of a few months.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

^ This sounds similar to my experience with xanax. Realizing after a period of abuse that they are more valuable at a controlled daily dosage.
Not that I'm perfect at doing that, but much, much better than in my first experiences with them.

With regards to Klonopin, it appears to have less abuse potential among the general consensus as it long acting effect doesn't have the same peak effect as the the shorter acting ones. Making it's abuse much less worthwhile after some experience.
I think when the realization finally manifests that a week of heavy use just isn't worth the suffering of 3 weeks off, that the change to more responsible use comes easier. Since you are aware of your compulsion (not retardation), this seems like a good opportunity to invest in some steps to bring things back to a regular schedule. The idea of having someone hold & dispense them sounds like it might be enough help to get you back to a more reasonable dosage regimen.

 

[HoldBack]

I’m a poly substance addict (opis/fent, crack, and benzos/kpin daily and also methadone mainatamence).

I find that as long as I am satiated with my crack and fent, the kpin becomes an afterthought, like I’ll forget to dose it (it’s illicit but I take it .5 mg 4x day).

However, if I’m low on money or just trying to take it easy on the drugs, my need for kpin skyrockets. I’ll feel anxious and double my doses to 1 mg. Just take way more than normal even though I’m not in withdrawal (mmt).

I think you have some addiction issues still to work on. I completely understand that for many people, myself included, sub (or methadone in my case) is a stop gap rather than an actual tool to treat addiction.

That is, I didn’t go on methadone to stop usin g drugs or even to try treating the addiction. I just needed more stability in my drug use.

If things are getting out of control for you (regardless of with which drug) it’s time to think about quitting or resign yourself to the consequences of that irresponsible use.

Unfortunately you don’t really have any option or tools you can use to make it so you can use responsibly. Some people can but most of us can’t.

 

[Quere]

What's up my fellow bluelights!! I am just in need of a little vent and input. I am on subs and kpins. I can manage my subs. However
My kpins usage is out of control. I get 60 1mg a month. I got my refill Friday the 28th . I sold 10. I have 8 left. Yes I am a retard. I've been on the same dose for 6 years from my family doc. Is anyone else out there as bad as I am? And can anyone offer advice to make them last? Its like I suffer 3 weeks a month every time!! I can't control myself. Today alone I took 9 w/ my 2 subs. Just a vent and cry for help. Love you guys!

When I was much younger and scripted clonazepam I was just as bad as you. But at least I didn't become physically dependent as I ran out before that could happen haha.

But then I started actually following the Dr's advice to take 0.5 3 x daily if needed and quickly became dependent which I didn't like the feeling of. I don't mind that I'm physically dependent on opioid because as long as I take my dose I feel good.

But the clon stopped working for.my anxiety once I was dependent so I tapered myself off. Still took em sometimes until my psych stopped prescribing me.

Going to rehab after class A (heroin) possession charge radically changed his opinion on the value of prescribing me.drugs lol

 

[Quere]

^ This sounds similar to my experience with xanax. Realizing after a period of abuse that they are more valuable at a controlled daily dosage.
regimen.

Took me quite a few embarassing blackouts to realize that too

Taken responsibly and if possible not everyday they can be amazing for crippling anxiety.

When I was young tho I believed the pop cultural idea that benzos were a 'recreational' drug. Abusable drug: yes recreational in terms of reducing anxiety: yes. But at least for me they don't get me high (although a low dose provides mild sedation which is pleasant especially as someone with an anxiety disorder).

So I kept thinking it would be better if I took more.

Like I fucking blacked out on phenazepam while reading a poem at my grandmother's funeral. Like wtf man. I was an idiot when I was young

Or the time I'd already taken heaps of triazolam, went upstairs to steal more from my dad, mum walks in see's my with the pills in one hand and pill bottle in other, I remember dropping them all over the floor then nothing.

Or the time I broke my wrist on my bicycle because of phenazepams huge duration I didn't realize I was still messed up and bam 4 surgeries and almost a decade later if I overuse it I get awful pain from traumatic arthritis. Which apparently will get worse as I get older.

Jeez I was a dork

 

[Mycophile]

I know that this isn't really going to help, but I just had to ask the OP a question (and anyone else who uses Klonopin to get high):

Do you really get a high/recreational effect from Klonopin?

Cause I have been prescribed 90--1mg pills for many years and use them daily for my anxiety and I'm an addict with most drugs like a lot of people here but I find Klonopin to have ZERO recreational effect or potential for real "abuse".

It helps me for my anxiety and that is it. If I take too much it doesn't feel good, i just get tired and groggy and that's all.

I haven't done other benzos before, with the exception of Lorazapam which I only did a couple times and which felt exactly the same, so I don't know how Klonopin differs from other benzos.

It seems like almost everyone agrees that Xanax is highly abusable and gets lots of people high, but I wouldn't know as I have actually never taken a single Xanax in my life, only Klonopin.

I just don't see what the recreational use for it could be, but then again, everyone reacts differently to drugs.

I am glad it doesn't get me high as if it did it would eventually become a problem and probably no longer be effective for my anxiety, and I am the sort of person who will find a way to abuse a drug if possible, so that's how I know Klonopin really does not get me high.


Anyways...OP: do you have an anxiety disorder that you are prescribed them for like me?

And if so, then why would you sell them?

I would AT LEAST recommend you not sell them to anyone and save any extras you have so you don't get WD.

Are you physically dependent on them to the point where you really need them and asking your doc to stop prescribing them would put you in WD?


Cause maybe you just shouldn't have a prescription and tell your doc to stop giving them to you.

 

[Quere]

I know that this isn't really going to help, but I just had to ask the OP a question (and anyone else who uses Klonopin to get high):

Do you really get a high/recreational effect from Klonopin?

Cause I have been prescribed 90--1mg pills for many years and use them daily for my anxiety and I'm an addict with most drugs like a lot of people here but I find Klonopin to have ZERO recreational effect or potential for real "abuse".

It helps me for my anxiety and that is it. If I take too much it doesn't feel good, i just get tired and groggy and that's all.

I haven't done other benzos before, with the exception of Lorazapam which I only did a couple times and which felt exactly the same, so I don't know how Klonopin differs from other benzos.

It seems like almost everyone agrees that Xanax is highly abusable and gets lots of people high, but I wouldn't know as I have actually never taken a single Xanax in my life, only Klonopin.

I just don't see what the recreational use for it could be, but then again, everyone reacts differently to drugs.

I am glad it doesn't get me high as if it did it would eventually become a problem and probably no longer be effective for my anxiety, and I am the sort of person who will find a way to abuse a drug if possible, so that's how I know Klonopin really does not get me high.


Anyways...OP: do you have an anxiety disorder that you are prescribed them for like me?

And if so, then why would you sell them?

I would AT LEAST recommend you not sell them to anyone and save any extras you have so you don't get WD.

Are you physically dependent on them to the point where you really need them and asking your doc to stop prescribing them would put you in WD?


Cause maybe you just shouldn't have a prescription and tell your doc to stop giving them to you.

I totally agree with your assessment myco.

One thought about selling them though I do doubt this is true for the op

I have severe anxiety and was prescribed clons, I abused them because as I said above I believed the 'myth' that they were recreational (beyond anxiety relief). But I sold them so I could buy opioids which interestingly have always worked better for my anxiety than benzos.

 

[Sertürner]

I was scripted clonazepam as my first benzodiazepine for GAD then for bipolar disorder. I took 1mg a day then bumped up to 1.5mg. I abused it in the same manner as the xanax. But I was in my teens and just thought I hit the jackpot when it came to medications. I never really got to much recreational value from it. The few times I truly got a high from it were very high stress situations such as being told I most likely had a cancer on my tounge after going to the dentist for a routine cleaning. I would run through my script trying to find a high that wasnt really in the prescription bottle. Benzos are just sensationalized sleeping pills IMO unless you have a true disorder that makes waking life seem impossible to cope with.

 

[HoldBack]

I know that this isn't really going to help, but I just had to ask the OP a question (and anyone else who uses Klonopin to get high):

Do you really get a high/recreational effect from Klonopin?

Cause I have been prescribed 90--1mg pills for many years and use them daily for my anxiety and I'm an addict with most drugs like a lot of people here but I find Klonopin to have ZERO recreational effect or potential for real "abuse".

It helps me for my anxiety and that is it. If I take too much it doesn't feel good, i just get tired and groggy and that's all.

I haven't done other benzos before, with the exception of Lorazapam which I only did a couple times and which felt exactly the same, so I don't know how Klonopin differs from other benzos.

It seems like almost everyone agrees that Xanax is highly abusable and gets lots of people high, but I wouldn't know as I have actually never taken a single Xanax in my life, only Klonopin.

I just don't see what the recreational use for it could be, but then again, everyone reacts differently to drugs.

I am glad it doesn't get me high as if it did it would eventually become a problem and probably no longer be effective for my anxiety, and I am the sort of person who will find a way to abuse a drug if possible, so that's how I know Klonopin really does not get me high.


Anyways...OP: do you have an anxiety disorder that you are prescribed them for like me?

And if so, then why would you sell them?

I would AT LEAST recommend you not sell them to anyone and save any extras you have so you don't get WD.

Are you physically dependent on them to the point where you really need them and asking your doc to stop prescribing them would put you in WD?


Cause maybe you just shouldn't have a prescription and tell your doc to stop giving them to you.

Like I said in my post, after being a drug addict for a sufficiently long period, your brain will produce strong cravings for any kind of intoxication.

Benzos I believe have very strong effects but one of those effects is delusions of sobriety. Therefore, yes, I believe I het high on kpin/benzos but I can’t tell while I’m on them.

Most true benzo abusers, those with problems controlling intake tend to abuse a multitude of drugs and tend to be dependent on at least one other substance.

Benzos get you high, but they also make it so you can’t twll that you’re high.

 

[Mycophile]

Like I said in my post, after being a drug addict for a sufficiently long period, your brain will produce strong cravings for any kind of intoxication.

Benzos I believe have very strong effects but one of those effects is delusions of sobriety. Therefore, yes, I believe I het high on kpin/benzos but I can’t tell while I’m on them.

Most true benzo abusers, those with problems controlling intake tend to abuse a multitude of drugs and tend to be dependent on at least one other substance.

Benzos get you high, but they also make it so you can’t twll that you’re high.

Like I said in my post, after being a drug addict for a sufficiently long period, your brain will produce strong cravings for any kind of intoxication.

Benzos I believe have very strong effects but one of those effects is delusions of sobriety. Therefore, yes, I believe I het high on kpin/benzos but I can’t tell while I’m on them.

Most true benzo abusers, those with problems controlling intake tend to abuse a multitude of drugs and tend to be dependent on at least one other substance.

Benzos get you high, but they also make it so you can’t twll that you’re high.

Ok, I get the rest of your post, but my Klonopin script does NOT get ME high.

I think if you have a real anxiety disorder they don't get you high like if you don't so I don't know if you have one but I do.

Trust me, I've been on them over 15 years I know, and I'm an addict like anyone else and will abuse other drugs but not Klonopin as it only helps my anxiety and doesn't get me high which I think is a good thing.

Everyone reacts differently to drugs so I guess they do get you high but not me.

 

[Quere]

I mean IME they definitely intoxicate you, you can abuse them to get 'fucked up' and I have often thought I'm sober on benzos when I'm most definitely not.

But I think it comes down to how you define being high. Because when I talk about being high there Is always some component of pleasure/euphoria as opposed to just being wasted.

But apart from the euphoria of relieving anxiety or overstimulation where benzos definitely feel pleasurable to me, they don't cause any euphoria (for me, that is) so I don't really see them as a drug that gets you high. I mean even alcohol has a strong euphoric component where to me, benzos just cause sedation.

 

[Mycophile]

I’m trying to say that because benzos exert an effect that your body/brain/subconscious finds recreational, the lack of control in your dosing is likely related to your broader substance abuse issues wherein your only two choices are to stop completely or keep going as is (obviously you can try to reduce your kpin usage but the nature of addiction is that you will eventually end up back to where you’re at or worse.

I do not think that you are taking these benzos (at least in the manner in which you’re taking them currently) for the medicinal effect.

I think where I’m losing you is when I say a universal effect of benzos is delusions of sobriety.

By their nature, benzos make you think you’re sober when you’re not. Whether you want to use the term high or intoxicated I don’t think
Really matters.

I’d compare it to a night out. You chug a bottle of liquor and have a complete blackout, you don’t ever remember being drunk. But that doesn’t mean that you were not drunk.

@percojerk I am not the OP, but sorry I went overboard when I snapped at you.

Honestly dude, I have no idea where you got the two bolded comments and I actually think you were talking to someone else and think that I said what they said because I have never ever said that I lack ANY control in my benzo dosing or that I use them recreationally.

My "brain and body" do NOT find benzos recreational, and it never has, so why are you saying they do??

I have ZERO "lack of control in my dosing". I am prescribed to take 3mgs daily, 1.5mgs twice a day, and I think it has probably been about 6 months or more since I exceeded 3mgs in a day, and I'd say I probably only exceed 3mgs in a day about twice a year.

Usually I dose 1.5 mgs a day, but sometimes 2.5mgs at the highest.

I COMPLETELY take them for the medicinal effect.

I use them for 3 reasons 1) social anxiety 2) generalized anxiety 3) sleep--and generally to help me fall asleep when I am worrying.

I am prescribed to use them for ALL THREE REASONS.


I have been taking them for 15 years and have NEVER raised my dosage over my current prescription of 3mgs a day in the past 15 years, and I would say I have probably only ever even taken more than 2.5mgs about 10 times in the course of 15 years....and probably only took 4mgs maybe like 3 times ever, so basically, I use LESS than prescribed every day.

I have problems with almost every other drug, but NOT Klonopin, and get ZERO recreational effect from them.

And I 100% disagree with you on the idea that I am not "sober" when I am on Klonopin.

IMO I am 100% sober on it and it is absolutely NOTHING like blacking out on alcohol but not knowing I'm drunk. Trust me, I've blacked out on booze before, but I do everything while on Klonopin including work my job, do sports and workout, etc.

Sure, I am slightly altered to how I would be if not on them because they are a drug, but really the only effect they have on me is to make me less anxious and sometimes make me a bit tired.

I would absolutely say I am sober when on them.

Its kind of like how if you drink coffee you are still on a drug, but you are still sober right?

I feel like I'm sober on Klonopin, but I can see why some would say I'm not since I am on a drug so we can agree to disagree.

 

[Mycophile]

I mean IME they definitely intoxicate you, you can abuse them to get 'fucked up' and I have often thought I'm sober on benzos when I'm most definitely not.

But I think it comes down to how you define being high. Because when I talk about being high there Is always some component of pleasure/euphoria as opposed to just being wasted.

But apart from the euphoria of relieving anxiety or overstimulation where benzos definitely feel pleasurable to me, they don't cause any euphoria (for me, that is) so I don't really see them as a drug that gets you high. I mean even alcohol has a strong euphoric component where to me, benzos just cause sedation.

Yeah, I am sober IMO on my Klonopin.

I'm just as sober on Klonopin as I am on caffeine: both alter consciousness to an extent but neither get me high.

The only effect I get from Klonopin is anxiety relief.

 

[Jabberwocky]

he just stated his opinion, I don't think he went at you to sound offensive. you don't have to feel so offended, if you really are using them legitly, that's all it matters, you don't have to get heated because of some strangers opinion.

 

[Zonxx]

Yeah, I am sober IMO on my Klonopin.

I'm just as sober on Klonopin as I am on caffeine: both alter consciousness to an extent but neither get me high.

The only effect I get from Klonopin is anxiety relief.

I want an apology and explanation from HoldBack regarding where he got the idea that I don't stick to my dosage and can't control my usage and where he got the idea that I don't use them medicinally.

I almost feel like he was talking to someone else who said they couldn't control their dosage and didn't use them medicinally for him to being saying it to me it is so out of context, either that or he is flat out making it up because he has trouble moderating with it and wants to try to claim I do to.

No, you are not as sober on kpin as caffeine, perception of sobriety is always altered when we get used to drugs, i somtimes feel 'sober' on crack cocaine, that does not neccesarily mean that i can say they essentially effect me the same, without reading what holdback said, i just want to point out you said yourself that you don't stick to your dosage and the title of the post is 'no self control' so i dont see why you're throwing a hissy fit over whatever he said, that being said, klonopin being an extremely effective anxiety reliever is hard to control when you really benefit from them or like to use them, ive had instances where ive taken high doses of them, only to redose later that day even higher because i thought it was a good idea, that's what inhibition of anxiety does, you simply don't give a shit, and by upping your dose on your own, you increase this 'no fuck' attitude allowing you to use more, when it seems you really wish not to, thats my 2 cents.