Hell yeah I would. I'm court ordered to do 3 a week. There's actually a couple NA meetings I like in Worcester.but more recently I've had to ask family members to drive me to meetings and the only close ones areAA. Idk some are ok but feels like a lot loom down on heroin addicts. I dont even know yet if I want to be clean I do outpatient groups 3x a week, meetings 3x a week,one on one counseling...and I tell them all I want to be clean but in all honesty, I've been trying to put a little cash away from my subs to get jammed and geeked as hell for like one weekend then stop for real. I get of probation in 5 months which is plenty of time to save up enough to get fucked up for one weekend. And I've done pretty well while on probation. I violated once but they cleared it. Does anyone know anything about early probation termination? Is that no longer an option if you have violated? This was the first time I ever got caught/arrested..so I don't know much about any of this....
So I was gonna write a whole bunch of shit but I'm really too lazy so forgive me if this imperfect language doesn't flatter my ideas.
Sounds like you don't really want to quit if you still are planning the "one last" bender.
Since you can't have the good shit for 5 months, ween yourself off subs. Get really sober. Find out if its workin for you. Then you can think near the end of the 5 months if you want to do a bag or not. If you do, just buy 1 and you will still have a great high after that long sobriety. If you aren't ready to say goodbye to it for the rest of your life, don't set yourself up for failure by making that your goal.
I went to a 3x weekly outpatient group recently and I know I'm not ready to say goodbye to dope, so I made my goal to create healthy habits for myself. In my super scientific studies of me I've found that the answer to not doing heroin is to have things you want to do more than heroin. We all know the myriad reasons dope creates to keep us away from doing shit we like. Sorry can't catch that movie, gotta spend 10 extra mins in the bathroom and be late, nope can't go skiing today my guy was out last night and now I gotta wait around this morning or I'm gonna be skiing sick, etc 4eVeR
Personally I don't have physical addiction right now so I do a bag once or twice a month. Not ideal but if you truly aren't ready to let go its better than saying one last bender which it never is. The only last bender is the one that happened in the past. If your last bender has a future date I can pretty much guarantee it won't be your last.
I know that most junkstars dropping off a sub habit and having wd are on the express to dope habit station at least until they catch a transfer back to the same treatment centers.
**Somehow I still ended up writing a ton of shit :*( **