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Life After E, It gets worse not better

If you want an honest, kindhearted response, keep your thread to "Ecstacy Discussion". If you want it assraped, post it in BlueLight Social or Media, Busts, and Legal Issues (as you did). Once it was moved everyone started being nice.
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Representin' Raleigh, NC and Virginia Beach, VA
AIM: LaviathanX
 
Tlw20grl ~
First of all, thank you for posting what you did.. Bluelight is a harm-reduction site, but that does NOT mean that everyone who visits this site uses drugs responsibly. Who knows, maybe someone who read this thread really needed to hear the things you had to say. I think some people were just offended due to poor word choices that made it seem like you were accusing everyone on this site of being just as irresponsible.
Second of all, Bluelight created The Dark Side forum specifically to help people who are struggling with drug addiction.. whether physically or psychologically.. and to give them a place where they can voice their fears, hopes, and concerns without being ridiculed or judged. I would suggest checking out the Dark Side forum if you feel you need additional support. It's a great way to interact with others who know what you're going through.
Much luv,
*Pixie*
 
This is what makes me upset is that I am not labeling everyone who uses E. I said people who USE it are fine. People who ABUSE it are not....BIG Difference here...I am one of those who ABUSED IT.....Also I never knew that there was a RULE on taking E. I took it when I felt like it, not by no ones RULE (one month rule).....education on E is alot more known that it was 3 years ago.
 
I have been taking E for about 1 year and a half now and I have to say it hasn't changed me much. I am 23 and I have NEVER felt the need to take more than one pill. I have taken two on one rare occasion when it was going to be at a party for 12 hours (last New Years Eve). Just to add I don't do any other drugs, I have done Coke (once), Weed (once), Tina (once) and K often enough but I don't anymore and I am not on a patern, I roll when I roll and it varies between once a month to once every two months to once in two weeks and once in three months. I never know when I am going to roll.
I don't understand the need to do it so often I have never gotten that craving. I don't get depressed, or have any other signs, I remember things just fine. What I seem to keep finding and it's not like this for everyone so don't kill me but the younger you are when you take E the more mistakes you make. It seems that all I read on Bluelight and Dancesafe is kids 13 to 19 taking E in large scary amounts all the time. (I am not saying everyone that takes crazy amounts are kids.) Come on now that stuff can kill you, hell the amount I take can kill me. If you are going to do E at least moderated yourself. It's not worth messing up your life and all you have for it.
Just my 02 cents.
:0)
[This message has been edited by Nsigtfulone (edited 03 October 2001).]
[This message has been edited by Nsigtfulone (edited 04 October 2001).]
 
First off I'd like to say something about what Vorticity said. He stated '...cases like Tlw20grl's are extremely rare...'. Cases being her addiction. However, Ecstacy addiction is not rare at all. Over the passed 6 months of my partying, be it at a rave or anywhere else, that MANY kids are addicted to Ecstacy. The problem IS that no one has the balls to admit OR they are just too ignorant and dense to notice.
Another thing I find funny is that there are people posting "I only do E once a month.. im the shit, im better than you, blah blah blah".. That may be true, but some of you forget to mention the half gram of meth you're snorting every day. Or the large amounts of coke you do. Or the marijuana you smoke everyday to get fucked up. I could go on forever.
Also, it is said by professionals that if you put your self on a schedule, be it once a week, once a month, or whatever, that is a sign of addiction.
Here, I will quote exactly..
"When a chemically dependant person stops growing, he or she begins to slip into a pattern which will eventually lead to more chemical abuse."
My point is that Tlw20grl is one of the hundreds of thousands of people, young and old that is addicted to Ecstacy, or any drug for that matter.
I'd like to say one more thing, the person who said something about Ecstacy not causing memory loss or some bullshit... You're a fucking moron because scientists just recently proved that Ecstacy causes memory impairment.
Yes, nobody really knows what Ecstacy does to you. They will be studying us in a few years.. WE are the guenie(sp) pigs.
Think about that.
 
I have been taking E for about 6 years. My use went from a pill about every 2-4 weeks, stedily increased to about a pill a weekend. Then I didn't do it at all for a few months, to doing about 2-6 pills EVERY weekend for about 4 months. Not doing it at all for about 8 months, starting to do it again, MAYBE once a month. To doing it now about every 2-5 weeks and doing about 2-3 pills each time. I have suffered NO side effects. You can all tell me I'm full of shit, but I'm not. I have become a better person, know more about myself, about this world and am one of the more intelligent people that I know. I have become VERY opened minded and accepting of other people. I have a GREAT job, a brand new VW, a nice apartment and good relationships with people who don't do drugs. My point is, E doesn't necessarly cause brain damage. Have any of you ever heard of "you can think something into being". Cuz that is what this sounds like to me. The government does a "study" on the effects of E. Releases it and then people actually BELIVE it (why people actually TRUST the government I'll NEVER know), and then these things start happening to people. So any of you who say you have brain damage and think slower, smoke weed? What about cigs? What about drinking caffeine? I'm saying that people need to look at MANY other factors in their lives. And like I said, if you believe something enuf, it's really likly to happen.
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Emancipate your selves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
Bob Marley
 
Okay....nice I don't smoke CIGS, or weed...I don't drink....I am abstaining from ALL mind altering substances....I said before about PAWS (POST ACUTE WITHDRAW SYNDROME) ever here of it...have you been off of drugs long enough to see that it will effect you to if you were a heavy E user or any drugs....
 
As an earlier poster said, the responses were based on the fact that the original, and a few subsequent posts not only generalized E users, it also served to demonize MDMA itself. It makes the already sometimes overblown side effects seem that much worse. It seems that this idea hangs over every single drug discussion. Just because you suddenly believe yourself to be 'stupider'(in comparison to what?) does not have to be attributed to MDMA. You could attribute it to the realization of how much you don't know.
Tlw20grl, don't regret what you have done. You can't change it. You are apparently sill young, it's not like your life is over. Constantly dwelling on the past and assuming that a few mistakes has completely fucked you up for good is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Expectations make or break you, trust me. Try to maintain a good attitude.. not by surpressing thoughts, but by considering them objectively and deciding if you benefit from it. Try to make life changes that you think will make you happier. It won't be easy, but success is the ultimate reward. We learn from our mistakes, it's instinctual and as primal as it gets. You have obviously learned, now let it go.
Good luck.
[This message has been edited by nickc (edited 03 October 2001).]
 
"I can't even remember if I stop at a stop sign when I drive."
geez...how many times did you roll? What other drugs did you do in combination with ecstasy? Drugs DO effect different people in different ways...not all of us have been left deficient from normal activities...
I would like to think E helped who i was spiritually and mentally
~hydra
 
"This one kid ate 45 pills and he has permenant eye damage (in one night)."
that is the biggest fuckin lie i ever heard.
you really r fucked up
 
I know its true, I hung out with the kid. However, shes wrong it wasnt 45 pills in one night, he ate 12 pills all at once and then supposedly 45 pills in the whole night. His right eye is now extremely 'lazy' and his other eye is messed up.
If you notice that when you roll your eyes flutter(twitch), or spasm, or squint.
If you people were observant of your bodies you would notice the effects E has on your body.
And Hydra, I'm sorry but, yes everybody is different, but no one can take large quantities of pills and have no side effects. I think that somebody who claims they have eaten many many pills with no side effects has extreme DENIAL.
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I know all.
 
~i'll give this girl props cause she kept coming back to defend her point even after we all had a go at the original post.
peace
bluE
 
Hey RapidProgession, now I'm not saying your post about the kid who ate 45 pills isn't true, but how could anybody afford that many?
 
i understand u Tlw20grl
i rekon i would hav abused it if i didnt know nething about it, who wouldnt
good of u 2 hav the courage to say ur feelings
 
This note is to all the frequent users of E...to anyone no longer using..much love for you all...
Okay people.....Whats going on here...Look at this...Oprah is right about E.[/quote]
There was not a single fact in her entire show. For a woman that so many look up to, Oprah's example was an abomination and I am extremely disappointed with her lack of real information.
Its very bad for you. I used it for 3 years and NOW I feel basically stupid.
Click to expand...
From what I've read about your frequent use, I'm not surprised. I won't rehash the obvious, it sounds like you already know that you overused and abused this drug to a pretty high degree. One thing you might not have realized by now is that many, if not most, of the people here on Bluelight follow a pretty strict regime for how much they take (for any substance, not just MDMA) and how often. We have been intelligent enough to ask questions about what we are putting into our body and have been fortunate enough to have access to reliable information as to how much we can put in our bodies without having disasterous consequences. Translation: Most of us don't roll more than once a month. And because of that, most of us don't have the need to take more than one or two pills at a time. And just about anyone who has spent enough time on this board will eventually get the idea that rolling more than once a month can be very unhealthy, and since we've been thus educated, we don't do it. The great thing about E is that it is NOT addictive. You don't "have" to keep taking it if you don't want to. Most of us here realize this and therefore take full responsibility for what WE are doing to our bodies. We don't blame the drug for doing it. We know that if something bad happens to us because of our choices, we have no one to blame but ourselves. That said, we make it a point to learn all we can so that the bad thing doesn't happen.
As a result, a lot of the people on this board may be less than forgiving when they hear the story of an intelligent person who has made some not-so-intelligent decisions and then seems to project the message that it was the drug that was to blame, rather than the decision to take the drug excessively. I'm not saying they're right or wrong. When I first started taking E, it was hard for me to wait for the next month to take it again. But after about the 3rd month and the 3rd time I took it, waiting was not a problem. I have a hard time understanding how people can roll every few days over the course of 3 years and don't even stop to notice when they are popping 4 or 5 pills in a night and still not getting anywhere. I agree with you in that respect; that isn't a very intelligent use of one's straight-A college-prep mind. But please bear in mind that on the average (of course there are exceptions), the pill-popping E-tard is not the type of user you are going to find on this board.
Someday you will see..Its only a phase
Click to expand...
I beg to differ. It may have been a phase for you, and that's fine. But for some people, it is a wholesome and integral part of their lives, from which they are constantly learning and growing.
Well thats a problem in this world and if people our age soon see it then we can all come together and truelly unite in a sober life...NOT With A SYNTHETIC LOVE that E gives to us..thats right....synthetic...
Click to expand...
You know, there could be a whole other debate as to whether or not chemically-induced feelings are less valid than natural ones...considering our entire bodies are just a mass of chemical reactions anyway, you'll have to forgive me if I don't see the difference. Feelings can be just as real on E as they can be fake when you're sober.
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Harlequin
~Someday your ship will come in. Today...is not that day.~
 
Harlequin... excellent response...
Twl20grl... i think you've been really brave to stay around and take the crap and defend yourself.
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*twiddle*bug*
"work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching"
 
The great thing about E is that it is NOT addictive
Click to expand...
That's an excuse we all use to justify what is, at the end of the day, a drug like any other. Okay, so there is no physical withdrawal if you come off of it after extended periods of use, but we all know that addiction is 50% mental.
The way it makes you feel, the lifestyle that goes with it, these are the reasons why people overdo it ... Doesn't make you stupid. Think about it, it's a well known fact that Sigmund Freud was a heavy user of cocaine, I doubt anyone could call him stupid could they?.
I use E every weekend, 2 - 2 1/2 pills each Saturday. I don't think I'm stupid - I have a good job (techie support, which pays good money), my own home and car, and a wide circle of friends... not all of them use pills, though some do.
I can't answer for Tlw20grl, but for me it makes me a different person ... I like dancing but won't do it sober, not even pissed but will when I've had a pill... I'm the life and soul of the party, I get funnier, I'm everyone's friend - and they're mine. That's not stupidity, that stems from a desire to be something you want to be rather than what you are.
And what are the consequences? Terrible Tuesday's, a little nausea, "head buzzing", short term memory problems, insomnia, slurred speech, the constant colds and flu... It's worth it for that feeling it gives you, even if it only lasts a couple of hours. What's wrong with that? My body, my choice.
As an adult that is a decision I have made. Stupid in some people's opinions, but that is all it is - an opinion, which we are all entitled to. Twl20grl was warning people what happens if you overdo it, which she has every right to and can say it with confidence because it comes from experience.
How can she be stupid when she realises she has made a mistake and wants to warn others?. She wasn't aying never take ecstasy because it will kill you, she was warning what might happen if you abuse it. Not everyone knows about the side effects, when I started using it (as a cute but naive 16-year-old) I knew nothing about the long term effects, nothing about postloading, nothing about moderation. They cost £20 each back then (1993) so I was forced to moderate the usage but things are different now and it's easy to go off the rails a bit. It's only in the past couple of months that I've found out about using prozac and 5HTP as postloads.
Perhaps Twl20grl and myself have addictive personalities. I smoke cigarettes (pack a day, have done since 13-years-old) and usually smoke a joint before bed... Maybe I'm genetically predisposed to get addicted to things, who knows?. The point is, it's not stupid to overuse something, it's weakness. We've all done things we later knew were wrong, Twl20grl has realised she did something really bad to herself and jsut wants to let others know how easy it is to do the same... There's no need to judge her for it, she's only trying to help others (like me) who are doing the same thing.
As beatbeat said a while back, considering Bluelight is supposed to be a "community" linked by a love for a drug that promotes empathy, friendship and love, if you dare to be different you get a lot of shit for it... It's called a "discussion" forum. That implies "discussion". Not "insult", not "abuse", but "discuss". That's D-I-S-C-U-S-S. It means "talk about things". Try it, it can be fun.
CW
"Moderation is the key" - Pile of shit !
 
im not being patronising, but im glad @ the change around of the responses.
smile.gif

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http://xtc-web.s5.com
 
if somebody learns something from all this, then i guess not everything went in vain.
when we first started, all the info we had was to drink water, and that it wasnt so good with alcohol. some of us were impulsive, some rational. no one dropped more than one. and after 3 weeks of consecutive weekend parties. we all agreed to take a break, for the heck of it!
people should know within themselves that too much of something(anything actually) cannot be good! especially something that is illegal(wether justified or not)
would you eat 45 panadol's in one night?
i doubt...
so why 45 e's?
suicide attempt....i dunno
but its just plain strange to me....
my 2 cents.
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If you think life is really good, wait till you hear the REMIX!
 
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