Damn man, I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to tell toy because I have been struggling too. I made it 5 years without cravings but then my dad got really sick and it became so hard, and I relapsed once and then the brain bug started up again and before I knew it I was deep into daily dosing again. Quit a few times since and currently quitting again. Second day about to end with no opiates. I did a suboxone taper and now have lyrica and then gabapentin and then off. I cannot go through cold turkey again, I have a high functioning job and am in an active band on the side. All I can do in withdrawal is curl up by myself and take showers and watch TV.
I don't want to make you feel like it can't be done though. It can. Lots of people have done it.
The best you can do is keep pushing. try to get off again like you did before, and try some therapy, there is probably some reason underlying why you keep wanting to go back. I know there is for me.
Non-opioid comfort meds don't set you back, but if you use them too long you can get addicted to them. If you use them for a week or so and stop, you can bypass withdrawal and only have to deal with the residual stuff. I mean when you stop you'll feel worse than when you were on them, but that's because it takes a while to feel normal, even if you cold turkeyed, but if you cold turkey, by the time you get past the acute withdrawals you feel so much better than you did that you're like oh my god, I feel normal again! With comfort meds this isn't so much the case.
The best thing you can do after acute withdrawal is start working out every day. Seriously.
It's definitely not just in your head. But cold turkey stopping is the quickest way off for sure. But can cause endless relapses because of days upon days of hell. You ever been addicted to opiates real bad?