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JaNEWary -- January getting/staying sober thread

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whitexrabbit said:
2 or 3 weeks sober now. No big temptations lately..... And now facing a surprise pregnancy, so sober is how I'm going to have to be. A little nervous about delivery. It's a slippery slope with pain meds during labor and recovery. I can't imagine no Percocet afterwards.
Click to expand...

Congratulations! My girlfriend found out she was pregnant while we were a little less than 3months into treatment. It's definitely a reality check, but it is so worth it. I didn't have any temptation to take any of the Percocet she was prescribed afterwards..probably the idea of it not being anywhere near enough to get off with was a big factor, but I didn't get an itch at all. Our daughter will be 4months on the 13th..born on Friday 13th.:)

You can do it. All the stress you'll be under will be worth all the smiles you get from your child.:)

photos


image isn't working on my end..:(

I guess I won't post another post on how I spent my new year's, which would've been primarily pictures.. two words, Sound Tribe.. it was amazing. If balloons weren't so expensive..I would've had troubles, but 3 nights in Atlanta without incident...just pure fun:)
 
I fucked up guys, I IV'd 0.4g of cocaine and drank 24oz of beer. Should I restart my days? Or just keep my head up and moving on?

Good news is that I go to get my vivitrol(naltrexone XR) shot on Monday.

Well atleast I didn't use any opiates...

Oh and btw I really appreciate the support spork and justaguy, it really means a lot to me to have people watching my back. How are y'all doing today?
 
^just keep your head up. Time shouldn't be on your mind right now. Thinking about how you have to start your count over..or you're so far away from a year will just fuck your head up more than it already is. Cliché...but today..."one day at a time." There's a reason that is repeated so much in and out of programs..

Figure out why and what got you to the point where you needed to use..meditation, inventory, sit downs with people that can relate(helpfully), or whatever...
 
Wow, you know, laCster, today's weird. I know all kinds of stuff I need to be doing, but this computer here imprisons me. It makes me want to keep starting new projects instead of finishing the ones I need to... Like right now I'm wanting to start a Wordpress blog and showcase my poems, essays, and (unfinished) novel. I totally feel you, where you are, how you are dealing with it. We're all capable of being Superman, but too often we choose to hide in our shell.

Like Supertramp's song of the same name, whose lyrics are better than the music:

"Hide In Your Shell"

Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer?
Heaven or Hell, was the journey cold that gave you eyes of steel?
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker

Too Frightening to listen to a stranger
Too Beautiful to put your pride in danger
You're waiting for someone to understand you
But you've got demons in your closet
And you're screaming out to stop it
Saying life's begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you scramble for

Don't let the tears linger on inside now
Cos it's sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heart back and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know.

All through the night as you lie awake and hold yourself so tight
What do you need, a second-hand-movie-star to tend you?
I as a boy, I believed the simple cure for pain was love
How would it be if you could see the world through my eyes?

Too Frightening- the fire's getting colder
Too Beautiful- to think you're getting older
You're looking for someone to give an answer.
But what you see is just an illusion
You're surrounded by confusion
Saying life's begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you can scramble for
Don't let the tears linger on inside now
Because it's sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heart back and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know

I wanna know, I wanna know
I wanna know...
I wanna know you...
Well let me know you
I wanna feel you
I wanna touch you
Please let me near you
Can you hear what I'm saying?
Well I'm hoping, I'm dreamin', I'm prayin'
I know what you're thinkin'
See what you're seein'
Never ever let yourself go

Hold yourself down, hold yourself down
Why d'ya hold yourself down?
Why don't you listen, you can
Trust me,
There's a place I know the way to
A place there is need to feel you
Feel that you're alone
Hear me
I know exactly what you're feelin'
cos all your troubles are within you
please begin to see that I'm just bleeding too
Love me, love you
Loving is the way to Help me, help you
- Why must we be so cool, oh so cool?
Oh, we're such damn fools...
 
Ugh I'm crashing and don't feel so hot lol

itsALLfake said:
^just keep your head up. Time shouldn't be on your mind right now. Thinking about
how you have to start your count over..or you're so far away from a year will just fuck your head up more than it already is. Cliché...but today..."one day at a time." There's a reason that is repeated so much in and out of programs..

Figure out why and what got you to the point where you needed to use..meditation, inventory, sit downs with people that can relate(helpfully), or whatever...
Click to expand...


Thank you very much. I think my porn addiction and being bored led to my cocaine use. I am on my 4th step which I am going to do. I'm not really a big proponent of the 12 steps , but a friend on BL told me it would be a good idea so I am going to do it.

Your right though, today doesn't have to lead to more use. I'm going to just pick up where I left off. If anything it is rally causing me to take a look at my life and really do some work to change.

I'm not happy with my body. I'm at the perfect weight but I have some fat (6'1" 180lbs) around my stomach, hips, and chest. I'm not happy with my porn addiction. It seems that I switched my drug addiction with porn and it is fucking with my self esteem. Those two things are really fucking with me in sobriety, and I know that if I just hit the gym, eat right , and abstain from porn I will succeed in sobriety.

How are u doing allisfake?

Just A Guy said:
Wow, you know, laCster, today's weird. I know all kinds of stuff I need to be doing, but this computer here imprisons me. It makes me want to keep starting new projects instead of finishing the ones I need to... Like right now I'm wanting to start a Wordpress blog and showcase my poems, essays, and (unfinished) novel. I totally feel you, where you are, how you are dealing with it. We're all capable of being Superman, but too often we choose to hide in our shell.

Like Supertramp's song of the same name, whose lyrics are better than the music:

"Hide In Your Shell"

Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer?
Heaven or Hell, was the journey cold that gave you eyes of steel?
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker

Too Frightening to listen to a stranger
Too Beautiful to put your pride in danger
You're waiting for someone to understand you
But you've got demons in your closet
And you're screaming out to stop it
Saying life's begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you scramble for

Don't let the tears linger on inside now
Cos it's sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heart back and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know.

All through the night as you lie awake and hold yourself so tight
What do you need, a second-hand-movie-star to tend you?
I as a boy, I believed the simple cure for pain was love
How would it be if you could see the world through my eyes?

Too Frightening- the fire's getting colder
Too Beautiful- to think you're getting older
You're looking for someone to give an answer.
But what you see is just an illusion
You're surrounded by confusion
Saying life's begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you can scramble for
Don't let the tears linger on inside now
Because it's sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heart back and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know

I wanna know, I wanna know
I wanna know...
I wanna know you...
Well let me know you
I wanna feel you
I wanna touch you
Please let me near you
Can you hear what I'm saying?
Well I'm hoping, I'm dreamin', I'm prayin'
I know what you're thinkin'
See what you're seein'
Never ever let yourself go

Hold yourself down, hold yourself down
Why d'ya hold yourself down?
Why don't you listen, you can
Trust me,
There's a place I know the way to
A place there is need to feel you
Feel that you're alone
Hear me
I know exactly what you're feelin'
cos all your troubles are within you
please begin to see that I'm just bleeding too
Love me, love you
Loving is the way to Help me, help you
- Why must we be so cool, oh so cool?
Oh, we're such damn fools...
Click to expand...
Stay strong man, don't best yourself up for not being able to finish projects! We all have days like that, the important thing is to wake up tomorrow and really put your mind to finishing what needs to be done.

I really like that song, it really speaks to how I feel and my situation.
 
I'm doing well..sitting around at the office at work..not working..for the first time in about a month..I guess I should be grateful for getting paid to be screwing off on the intranet.

I'm not big on the programs either, but I'm glad I went through the steps when I was first getting sober. It would've been a lot more difficult if I wasn't in the town for transitional treatment I was in to comply with a program. Tell your sponsor, see what they think you should do. If you're worried about telling them, you don't trust them enough, and you should use them temporarily until you find someone you can fully invest in. It won't hurt their feelings..

Gotta love that 4th step..just be thorough and get through it..and be thankful you don't have to do 7-areas of self..if you do, I feel your pain.:)

I noticed your thread after I responded to you here. Being in a halfway house can be monotonous, so try to figure out what you can do with your house mates or other people in recovery. If I'm putting your name on someone else...I apologize..and need to learn my lesson about being up all night+forums.
 
Maya said:
I'm actually powering through and I do it through my workouts :)
Click to expand...

Nice Maya - Working out these last few days is the only thing that's kept me going. It really does help a tremendous amount. About to go do yoga for the first time in a while.

241 Days.
 
itsALLfake said:
Wow! It still feels like we only just met each other! Where's the time going? :)
Click to expand...

Wow, when you remind me that we met through this thread it puts it in perspective. Where has the time gone! :)

itsALLfake said:
Congratulations! My girlfriend found out she was pregnant while we were a little less than 3months into treatment. It's definitely a reality check, but it is so worth it. I didn't have any temptation to take any of the Percocet she was prescribed afterwards..probably the idea of it not being anywhere near enough to get off with was a big factor, but I didn't get an itch at all. Our daughter will be 4months on the 13th..born on Friday 13th.:)

You can do it. All the stress you'll be under will be worth all the smiles you get from your child.:)

photos


image isn't working on my end..:(

I guess I won't post another post on how I spent my new year's, which would've been primarily pictures.. two words, Sound Tribe.. it was amazing. If balloons weren't so expensive..I would've had troubles, but 3 nights in Atlanta without incident...just pure fun:)
Click to expand...

I'm glad to see you back, bud <3.

laCster said:
I fucked up guys, I IV'd 0.4g of cocaine and drank 24oz of beer. Should I restart my days? Or just keep my head up and moving on?

Good news is that I go to get my vivitrol(naltrexone XR) shot on Monday.

Well atleast I didn't use any opiates...

Oh and btw I really appreciate the support spork and justaguy, it really means a lot to me to have people watching my back. How are y'all doing today?
Click to expand...

The days are what are meaningful to you. They aren't for us. If you are still in the sobriety mindset I say just keep counting your days and don't reset them. If you feel its right, reset it. But if you feel that you've accomplished a lot over those days and you earned them, then keep them!!! <3 You're still here posting and that's what matters. You didn't give up from a minor slip-up.

caseface99 said:
Nice Maya - Working out these last few days is the only thing that's kept me going. It really does help a tremendous amount. About to go do yoga for the first time in a while.

241 Days.
Click to expand...

You are a rockstar man <3.

Today is day 143 for me :)
 
You're pretty fuckin' courageous yourself Stardust.

I doubled down today and went to do an hour of Yoga AND went jogging after I got home. As well as the pushups/sit ups I've been doing. Getting my body into great physical shape is my new goal right now I think. Not only will the continued exercise help with my emotional state and physical well being, but it will give me something to focus on and work towards. Now that Im almost 8 months sober, recovery is still a huge part of my life but It doesn't really feel like something I'm working towards anymore, it feels like something I'm just plain doing. So anyway, for now my goal's are work on becoming physically (and spiritually) fit.

Yoga was really spiritual today. I focused on my breathing all class and tried to almost meditate while doing the yoga, then at the end the teacher read a spiritual quote and played a tibetan singing bowl for a minute. Sitting there meditating at the end, with the ringing from the bowl reverberating intensely all around the room and seemingly through my entire body, a feeling came over me - For quite possibly the first time in my life, I felt an overwhelming awareness of being completely in the moment. Nothing mattered, nothing else was real - nothing that has happened in the past, nothing that I am expecting to happen in the future, in that exact moment, there was just a incomprehensible sense of quite simply nothing. And it was blissful...

If I can get to that place, that feeling, once a day even just for a moment, then I might just become okay with everything else that is happening, has happened, and will probably happen. I think I'm going to pursue spirituality just as much as I am pursuing physical fitness right now. If anything is ever going to make me truly happy, it will come from within myself and I won't reach that place without spiritual growth.
 
caseface99 said:
You're pretty fuckin' courageous yourself Stardust.

I doubled down today and went to do an hour of Yoga AND went jogging after I got home. As well as the pushups/sit ups I've been doing. Getting my body into great physical shape is my new goal right now I think. Not only will the continued exercise help with my emotional state and physical well being, but it will give me something to focus on and work towards. Now that Im almost 8 months sober, recovery is still a huge part of my life but It doesn't really feel like something I'm working towards anymore, it feels like something I'm just plain doing. So anyway, for now my goal's are work on becoming physically (and spiritually) fit.

Yoga was really spiritual today. I focused on my breathing all class and tried to almost meditate while doing the yoga, then at the end the teacher read a spiritual quote and played a tibetan singing bowl for a minute. Sitting there meditating at the end, with the ringing from the bowl reverberating intensely all around the room and seemingly through my entire body, a feeling came over me - For quite possibly the first time in my life, I felt an overwhelming awareness of being completely in the moment. Nothing mattered, nothing else was real - nothing that has happened in the past, nothing that I am expecting to happen in the future, in that exact moment, there was just a incomprehensible sense of quite simply nothing. And it was blissful...

If I can get to that place, that feeling, once a day even just for a moment, then I might just become okay with everything else that is happening, has happened, and will probably happen. I think I'm going to pursue spirituality just as much as I am pursuing physical fitness right now. If anything is ever going to make me truly happy, it will come from within myself and I won't reach that place without spiritual growth.
Click to expand...

I think, Case, that you are about to discover something amazing. If you were here at my place right now, I'd give you a hug and would consider giving you one of those Slavic two-cheek kisses.
 
Thanks Casey <3 that made my day :) sometimes you don't realize how a little comment can really boost someone.

That's great you're working on yoga and the spiritual aspect of it. I really want start going to the gym... Not because it's a new years resolution or because I need to lose weight but more for the mind stimulation/unwinding.

I think after January and all the New Years resolution people have calmed down I'll think about joining my neighborhood one. It's close and open 24 hours via a keychain door unlocker.
 
Yep. 24 more down and I gotta get to bed before I stay up too late to get up for Yoga tomorrow - gotta hit the 10am class cause I'm going to a 4th step/fears workshop tomorrow during the day.

Night All. Hope you all wake up again tomorrow ready to face the day with courage!
 
^^ Today and everyday you stay sober. :)


Blah. I stayed up to late last night and didn't get up for yoga this morning - Extra sore this morning though so I think I'm gonna take it easy, hit this AA workshop in a bit and then maybe do yoga afterwards later in the day. I'll definitely go running either way though this afternoon.
 
Right on Toucan! Keep it up and keep us updated. :)


24 more down. 242 Days. Keep it up everybody, stay with it.

Exercise is seriously saving my ass right now... I don't know what I'd be doing right now if I hadn't committed myself to physical fitness when I broke down last weekend.
 
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^^

Yeah exercise can be great for staying clean. I'm just now getting back into it too. I'm lucky I have a girlfriend who loves working out so she provides a lot of motivation and it is now something we can do together.
 
Woke up this morning and gave myself a new look. Quit smoking cigs on Friday. Shaved my face and gave myself a haircut. Resolved a serious household problem, and I'm feeling like a new man.
 
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