Hey
@AddictedAndHatingIt
I'm glad you've gotten some good answers. Situations like this are a lot more scary when you don't have the knowledge. The dosages you're describing regarding your Opioid use are not extreme. There is a spectrum these days. The folks out there doing Fentanyl are growing tolerances that would previously have been rare. The system has yet to adjust effectively to counter the change in potency.
One interesting side-effect of this is that I see more and more people who just decide to stop going to the Methadone Clinic. They start using Fentanyl a little bit here and there. By the time they're doing a couple of bundles of dope a day, the Methadone is not even in the same league as the tolerance they're dealing with. That's a tangent, but kind of intetesting.
If I were you, I would take
Buprenorphine 2mg once a day. If you find that it's not high enough, you can adjust. I feel this dose is perfect considering your circumstances and history. Anything higher runs the risk of actually increasing your tolerance and would likely not give much further benefit.
You mentioned taking
Alprazolan (Xanax) also. Yes, Benzodiazepines and Opioids in tandem produce a synergistic effect, which often leads to problems like respiratory depression. But, this isn't going to be a foreign feeling for you, as you're already taking Opioids and Benzodiazepines. There's nothing specific about either Methadone or Buprenorphine that would make them any more dangerous than say,
Hydrocodone (Vicodin).
As I always like to say, medications like these are not a cure. Your medication needs to be just one of many tools in your belt. The more tools, the higher the likelihood of success in your goals.
I highly advise joining a group with fellow addicts. 12-step meetings are great if not simply because they are everywhere at all different times, making it easy for a person to get started. I owe much of my life to the people I met in AA who were willing to help me.
I go to meetings, I try to be honest in everything I do, try to treat people as I would want to be treated and to always remember what I have to be grateful for. Here you have a place to start. A lot of people talk shit about AA and they're entitled to their opinions, but there is no other system in the world that comes close to their levels of success. You can spend $45,000/moth to go to a rehab in Malibu run by people motivated by profit, or you can go to the free meeting in which every person there is there for each other. One drug addict helping another drug addict for free is more effective than any amount of dollars.
Jus make sure you have a comprehensive plan. The only way I got better was by giving it everything I had.