I’m currently going into week four in rehab. I was very against subutex when I got here, but mostly because I was still an active addict, not wanting to block his receptors. As this work to cold, I got comfortable with the idea of using buprenorphine, and I let them induce me, and then dosed me with 16 mg per day, for one day. I was loopy, and I was nauseous, I was also still detoxing, and it turns out that those little blue fentanyl pills were still strong in my receptors almost 60 hours after my last dose, so I had about six hours of precipitated withdrawals. I’m still living in the room where I had this experience, and the only thing that kept me from getting in my car and driving home and calling a locksmith to get me into my place because this place had my keys to my house was hot showers. I read in these forums that hot showers help with withdrawals and thank God. I knew about that because I was in the shower for five of the six or seven hours that I was withdrawing and I was able to sit, rather lay in one place in one position in the bottom of the shower .
So here I am on day 21 with most days being a 2 mg Subutex dose at 6 AM, I broke them in half and took a 1 mg dose in the evenings up until yesterday when I took a total of 2 mg between the two doses, and about an hour ago, I took less than a half of a 2 mg tablet. I had no idea about dental issues, although it sounds like that’s a naloxone issue, but that’s news to me. Thank you. I was actually going to go home and stay on Subutex for a couple of months, mostly so that I would not relapse on whatever I’ve got stashed around my house, but a couple of days ago I was taking a med for the first time and they handed me the bottle that I ended up filling with Percocet, rather than Adderall. I was trying Adderall for the first time here because I’m 46 and my ADHD, which I thought didn’t give me any hyperactivity, it turns out I have unending energy where I was a lazy, ordering in two meals a day to my house since Covid POS. I saw they give me the bottle, I don’t purchase it in my hand, I put it back in the bottle, and I asked for the other bottle. Because I had two Adderall bottles in the bag. I didn’t say anything, took the Adderall, and it was group the next morning, when I fast up to the house and then I came back to the house and fest up to the house manager and she threw it out. That was a relapse way ahead in the making, and it was a relief and it was a lot of what I thought I had at home. I’m sharing your just a shower because maybe somebody will find this helpful.
so with a Percocet out of my life and in the toilet or wherever they put it I figured I should probably come off of the subutex. Lowering to 2 mg a day from 2 1/2 is probably nothing. I’ve been on it for three weeks and I’m at a place that is feeding me sugar, free, and gluten-free and caffeine free food. I’ve done a slew of blood tests, and they have given me supplements to treat whatever could be going on or whatever is off, mostly they’re now trying to get rid of my Adderall, which I happen to have already taken out of my routine because it doesn’t feel good completely, it comes along with this dirty icky feeling. I sure this because lots of us Alex have ADHD undiagnosed, and I can easily see why somebody would need to sedate away what shows up now, at least at my age, when I thought I was too exhausted to have a child, I’m ready to have five. If you find your body is very active and your energy is kind of up there, if you walk fast, when you were high or sprinted upstairs, when you were high, you might wanna revisit this stuff.
So 2 mg a day, I’m going to be lowering it to 1 1/2, I’m being egged on by a housemate, who is a fellow opiate addict, he’s telling me to just jump off, but I don’t want to deal with a withdrawal. I also don’t want to go home and find myself using kratom to get off of subutex, I’m pretty committed to my recovery plan, I don’t wanna go back to that lifestyle, and just the last three weeks I have had so many results with family and friends, that I’ve reconnected with, ideas for work that are flowing out of me beyond anything, I could’ve imagined, I feel good about myself and my shame and anger and anything negative has really been tempered significantly. I even have an ex girlfriend that’s been racking up my credit cards with a couple thousand dollars and I couldn’t care less. That’s easy to clean up.
I came to this place because they were not a 12 Step Pl. and here I am looking forward to finding my sponsor in NA over the next three weeks, will I get home in a week so over the first two weeks I’m home. All of that shows up as an awesome place to meet people that are usually really freaking cool and usually out to help anyone they can, which is where I would love to find myself in the not too distant future. I’m sure I can get myself off of the subutex and I know I can get enough so that I could break it down into the smallest little pieces. I’m not tempted to do more of it, at the same time I haven’t had any drug cravings the entire time I’ve been here and I was buying 200 fencing, all blues, every three or four days for months, ending what ended up being an eight year run, starting off with a doctor that fueled my addiction prior to 2012, we picked up right where I left off back then with 60 x 40mg oxycontin and 120 30mg 30s of oxycodone. I graduated the heroin in there, then fentanyl, I had a pretty decent habit going there for quite some time and it all came to ahead three weeks ago, and I feel amazing.
I cannot stress this sugar, free, gluten free situation I’ve learned that my diet because ahead of everything, including my recovery and my family and friends. Sugar-free will help out with cravings big time, but all of this stuff helps out with addiction. The facility is Inner Balance in Loveland Colorado. No, I’m not in employee, I posted a few times here in the past, hopefully that shows a little bit of conniving. I’m just shocked that I was able to have this drastic of an improvement. I should probably move this into a different section, I’ve never really done blue light correctly.
let me get this back on track, my advice would be to get yourself off of the hydrocodone. I would use the subs to taper yourself down to nothing. If you’ve got strips, you can cut those smaller and smaller, much easier than the tablets I’m using. I went without the naloxone because I was feeling weird and having stomach and whatever issues, it probably was not that and I was fine with just taking subutex so I didn’t complain but I think I might ask for strips because it’s easier to cut make smaller. The fact is the quicker you’re off the pills, the faster you can get going with your recovery and it’s the work that you do after this that’s gonna make the biggest difference. It’s the results that you get from doing the work, that’s gonna be what motivates you to keep off of that shit altogether. and beyond that, it’s when you are able to be completely honest, although it sounds like you are being honest, but when you can get really honest with your family and your wife, about all of it, I’m talking about present moment, no need to go dragging up shit to freak her out about , but when you’re living your life with the values that it sounds like you have, your life will be completely different, and that won’t happen while you’re still taking Vicodin. It could happen while you’re taking Subutex or Suboxone. I wish you the best of luck, feel free to ask any questions, I’ll check back here and I’ll probably start posting more around here because I’m having amazing experience and I thought my life was over at 46, I thought my life is gonna be living between my desk in my bed, trading crypto in the NFTs, most likely high, until I die, which wouldn’t have been far from now. My lungs were going out. So, hopefully this helps, sorry it’s so long, I’m in rehab so I’m emotional and unraveling (in a good way) and this is my first post in years.
