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How High Are You v. Not High Enough for this Life

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But frankly I'll never again likely find a high that can make living on the earth desireable.
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I don't know, I always chased being high when living was unbearable, knowing at the same time it might just happen to be beautiful one day. Living to get high? Fuck that. Life's got much more to offer, I'm sure you have aspired for more, why not look into that? All the stuff we experience on drugs can be triggered by life experiences one way or another. I always perceived opioids to be a substitute for deep interpersonal intimacy, but they're empty as hell, they may take away the pain, but they won't fill the void. Getting close to a person is so much more powerful and fulfilling, though I've learned that being able to experience love deeply and true serenity coming of it also means being extremely susceptible to getting intensely hurt, the more powerful love is, the more powerful the pain. I can't imagine myself having touched opioids if it wasn't for the pain inside in the first place. On the other hand psychoactive compounds like MDMA or psychedelics are a completely different thing as they can deepen positive feelings instead of just dulling negatives ones.
 
Drugs, in my opinion, are ultimately pretty trivial. They have good novelty value and can be fun but some people take them way too seriously. Ultimately that's what happened even with me, and I don't consider myself to have a particularly addictive personality generally-speaking. Most drug users are able to moderate their consumption and successfully integrate psychoactive substances into their lives. I was like that for awhile but eventually I got into the pattern of "boo hoo life sucks, I suck, I'm gonna just do lots of hair-on to forget about how much everything sucks"

It's terrible, though, because on the other hand I really, really love to get high. Like, really love it; it's one of my favorite things in life. Drugs should be a side-dish to one's overall enjoyment of life, though, not the main course...what I like is hanging out with someone who's company I genuinely enjoy, and who I'd associate myself regardless of whether we happened to have drugs around or not, not just linger around a bunch of scrubs who's sole purpose in life seems to be a relentless mission to score & use. Because THEY NEED THAT SHIT
 
^Drugs can be hard to handle. They are great tools and some of them provide an instant gratification, that makes them very appealing to the non logical regions of our brain.

I also believe that the only way not to lose control of your use and keep it recreational is to have other hobbies and activities that are equally rewarding as drugs.
Either that or using very infequently to avoid creating the neuropathway which makes us believe that drugs are always the solution.

OT:
-100mg of codeine oral
-0.25mg of clonazepam sublingual
-1 hash spliff smoked
-20mg of ethylphenidate insufflated
-some good tunes injected directly into my brain 8)
I'm a bit high today

edit: +a few more bumps of eph, 80mg of codeine and 0.25mg of clonazepam
Coming down right now, smoking another spliff.
 
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Hash and valium.

Do you agree cannabis goes well with everything (well, with alcohol you've got to be careful).
 
I'm really feeling the Soma I took about 45 minutes ago. I took 1400mg along with my daily methadone dose of 48mg. Currently I'm on the computer at the law library in the king county courthouse. My face might be in the keyboard in about 15 minutes.... hopefully not though! I am noticing that my hands are really shaky...
 
6 beers and a glass of wine, 40mg hydrocodone, 6mg clonazepam.
I am possibly killing myself tomorrow but I was going to do it tonight.
Then maybe those bands that write about me will tell the world what is really happening.
Or someone will tell me what is really going on before I off myself with dry ice and starting fluid in a cellar that I turn into a gas chamber.
Gonna have some methylphenidate and then go to a bar and have 3 beers and a Bloody Mary. Just smoked part of a roach.
 
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^
I really hope that was in jest or part of some joke I missed since I don't read this thread as much anymore.


You been posting on here ever since I came here more than a decade ago. I read about you doing lots of drugs and in the mean time I've done lots of drugs as well. Hang in there man, I don't know if you're at a low point but that doesn't mean things won't get better. We've lost a lot of good BLers in that time period. Please don't make this go blacklight.
 
I was cleaning my car out and under the passenger seat was a half-burnt roach. I scrapped it out into a pipe and damn, it's some pretty good weed. Who knows when it was from...haven't cleaned out my car for a while. It simultaneously bothers and delights me to find roaches under my car seats, this definitely isn't the first time it's happened
 
170mg hydrocodone, 4mg clonazepam, 150mg hydroxyzine, and 1g cipro to potentiate.
Don't plan to be around more than a few days if I don't get a resolution to certain problems. Like the bags that are in my raccoon. The vet can remove them instead of covering up for the government or I die.

Update:
Got about 200-250mg meth which I have been smoking over the last hour or so, feeling damn good! Nice and clear minded, did not sleep last night so this free meth was a nice surprise, haven't had meth in months! Probably not done it even a dozen times in my life so this is not something I do very often...
 
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If I had bags in my raccoon I don't think meth would make things better. That's just me though, so whatever.



Dabs & Bowls just like always. Thinking about picking up some cheap hipster beer later on.
 
w01fg4ng said:
If I had bags in my raccoon I don't think meth would make things better. That's just me though, so whatever.
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Damn right.

OT: a few ml's of 1,4-butanediol. Nicely sedated after a bike ride. Been going quite hard on all kinds of stuff lately, though, which I'm not very happy about.
 
Maintaining on sub. Kinda sucks but I'm over the worst part. Like 3 days of no oxy or smack now. I'm snorting 2mg twice a day, probably gonna do a quick taper off the sub, I don't want a dependency to a long acting 'opioid', if you can call sub that. Sigh. Wish I had some methadone. But this is probably faster to get off smack and oxies. The sub isn't completely covering the withdrawals though. Got the most annoying case of rls ever. And I'm out of bromazepam too which is usually never a worry because I just maintain on it, don't abuse. But I forgot to ask for a script the last time I went to the doctor.. Luckily I have some flurazepam left which isn't quite as good but it'll just have to do for now..

Also smoking quite a bit of weed, which only relaxes me when I've got a tolerance, which I do right now so it helps a little too. Smoking some Jack Herrer atm.
 
Pill2Chill said:
Maintaining on sub. Kinda sucks but I'm over the worst part. Like 3 days of no oxy or smack now. I'm snorting 2mg twice a day, probably gonna do a quick taper off the sub, I don't want a dependency to a long acting 'opioid', if you can call sub that. Sigh. Wish I had some methadone. But this is probably faster to get off smack and oxies. The sub isn't completely covering the withdrawals though. Got the most annoying case of rls ever. And I'm out of bromazepam too which is usually never a worry because I just maintain on it, don't abuse. But I forgot to ask for a script the last time I went to the doctor.. Luckily I have some flurazepam left which isn't quite as good but it'll just have to do for now..

Also smoking quite a bit of weed, which only relaxes me when I've got a tolerance, which I do right now so it helps a little too. Smoking some Jack Herrer atm.
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So "how high are you?" = Not at all.
 
There isn't a drug in existence that can't be completely dulled with tolerance and/or abuse

Heroin, DMT, what the fuck ever, you name it and I can make it so I'm not high on it.


2 shots of rum
dabs of stardawg and gorilla cookie
 
Pill2Chill said:
Also smoking quite a bit of weed, which only relaxes me when I've got a tolerance, which I do right now so it helps a little too. Smoking some Jack Herrer atm.
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Me too, the more i use, the more i can feel relaxed but not intoxicated.
 
^ Parking is insan$ in downtown Seattle, hope you are on foot. I don't remember much else about the bars sorry.

Tryptamine*Dreamer said:
government's program of torturing telepathic raccoons and other animals
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So are you vegan? Some people eat raccoon. I bet the bags wouldn't taste too good.


Sipping tea and smoking a bowl.
 
w01fg4ng said:
^ Parking is insan$ in downtown Seattle, hope you are on foot. I don't remember much else about the bars sorry.


So are you vegan? Some people eat raccoon. I bet the bags wouldn't taste too good.


Sipping tea and smoking a bowl.
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My car blew up on I5 I'm probably sleeping outside tonight. Drinking now
 
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