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How High Are You? v. Let's get loaded and practice medicine

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Work > Being bored

I'm bored 90% of the time I'm not working and sober, it is so sad that I've stopped wanting days off. WTF.

Feeling wonky, gonna have my last beer, eat some food, and get my shit in order somewhat (hopefully).
 
smoking dank, cigarettes....eyeing my benzos but WAY too early fo that.

maybe pop a Gabapentin for shits and giggles.

watching BEARS vs. COLTS on NFL ......wish I had a perc 10
 
I ended up taking 0.5mg MORE of Lorazepam than I wanted too. Reason being sad thoughts were racing through my mind which got me SUPER depressed. Tears started to roll down my cheeks for no fucking reason. Depression sucks ass.
So in total, I took 1.5mg of Lorazepam yesterday...which IMO is NOT bad. Because it was the 1st day with dosing a single benzo, no combination like the day before (Lorazepam/Diazepam).

I woke up today feeling pretty good, I dosed everything BUT NO BENZO's :D... I will take a .5mg IF NEEDED, like if my mind starts getting depressed again or some shit... because Xanax or Ativan is are the only remedies that erase my depression. I hate SSRI's.

So far...

80mg Liquid Methadone
50mg Promethazine
50mg Hydroxyzine
Caffeine, coffee
Cigs, Marlboro's


That's all for right now... I hope I stay clean from benzo's all day today.. Because if I do it today, tomorrow will be easy. :)
 
sweetjaaaane said:
good for you leegrow, how'd a do it???
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I got court ordered to rehab for 7 months for failing too many drug tests, so I didn't have much choice. And I drank on a home pass so I'm not really a poster child for sobriety. But now I need to pass all my pee tests for the next 3 months and the judge will close my case. I'm going to meetings to and I have a sponsor and I'm in outpatient..

OT really just hyped up on 4 cups of coffee.
 
250mg tramadol (to ease any possible opi WD's)
2mg clonazepam
bowl of Key Lime Pie
shot of whiskey

Might go swoop some m-amp, but curious as to if it would react badly with the trams due to the serotogenic interaction. I've read threads that suggested no, or to be cautious, or that they didn't have a problem. I just wanted the speed for work for real, i hate my job. Hopefully this interview that went well scored me a new one.
 
ugh, I just took .5mg of Lorazepam.
Idk what it is, idk how to explain this 'dryness' feeling. I know it's from Benzo's. Because after I took just .5mg of that lorazepam I felt 100% better.

I got to do this the smarter way.

I took 1.5mg yesterday total. So IMO I should go for 1.0mg today, and just .5mg tomorrow, and then stop. That'll probly help. Tapering is always key, even in minimal W/D's like I'm having. What gets me the hardest, is the depression. I can't control the sad thoughts racing through my mind, which get me in tears!! It sucks major balls!

But I thank god for My Emergency box of Benzos. Without it I would probly go nuts, physiological w/d is nastier than physical IMO.

I still got 20+ 1mg Lorazepam and 10+ 10mg Diazepam. and a few Xanax 2mg bars, which im staying the fuck away from. Those get me the hardest. Ativan is so smooth compared to Xanax.
 
Been awhile, but got surgery tomorrow on my broken wrist/arm, getting a screw put in. Been hitting the opiates quite hard lately. Not much today, but 30mg Oxycodone orally, and 7 Somas. Just got a fresh ass taper fade, kurwa. Been tapering very hard on my BZD's, but I got 2 packages coming tomorrow, so I'll have a buncha zo's on decc!
 
ykm420 said:
Been awhile, but got surgery tomorrow on my broken wrist/arm, getting a screw put in. Been hitting the opiates quite hard lately. Not much today, but 30mg Oxycodone orally, and 7 Somas. Just got a fresh ass taper fade, kurwa. Been tapering very hard on my BZD's, but I got 2 packages coming tomorrow, so I'll have a buncha zo's on decc!
Click to expand...

Are you prescribed the opiates for your wrist?
 
Definitely not the oxy, I was given Hydrocodone and T3's. Though I have been on oxy for a couple weeks straight now. I like my opiates, but I feel like the fun of them are gone. I'm just concerned about my benzos, and when it's dry, really blows / scares me. Regardless of my stupidity for getting hooked on these fucking things, I just booted 15mg Oxy for the hell of it, going to grub on some wings before I'm not allowed to eat or drink anymore. On the plus side of things, when I saw the pre-op people, as soon as I sat down I told the woman "Midazolam and Fentanyl" which I just blurted out.. She proceeded to ask if that worked in the past when I had surgery, to wit I of course said yes, then she wrote it down.. I was 100% fucking around, and that was the first thing I said and nothing else, yet I'm getting it tmrw. Odd, but great.
 
^I'm jealous, Midazolam is supposed to be a good one. I've never been able to find it.

Tonight:
1200mg Gabapentin
2 dabs of hash oil
500-600mcg Etizolam
300-400mcg Clonazolam
20mg Flexeril
Coming down off of 100mg R-Modafinil and two cups of coffee, both taken in the morning

Gonna taper off these 'zos and get myself on a sleeping med that doesn't cause as much rebound anxiety and/or memory loss. But lord do they help in the moment for back pain, and also anxiety and insomnia and stuff.
 
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I need to eventually try and make an attempt at trying R-Modafinil, sounds more fit than D,L-amps. I defintely have very irritating ADD, and stims keep me focused and sped up, but relaxed just fine. Can sleep perfect too the night of dosing that day. Same with crystal m-amp. I need a lisdexamfetamine script (basically XR d-amp purely), it also being my third to methamphetamine and pure d-amp/Dexedrine. It makes a far more functional person and happier because I'm not so anxiously restless out of boredom. Benzos only sooth so much of that but the 'zos + amps completely sooth. Clonaz and lisdexamfetamine is a godsend of a combination.

Bellhaven Scottish Ale (5.2% abv and one of my new favorite ales, so fucking good, goes down smooth too)
2mg alprazolam
200mg morphine (oral and insufflated half and half)
3mg clonazepam and possibly 250mg tramadol from early this morning/late this afternoon
Smoked two bowls back to back of Blueberry and some Hindu Kush mixed.

Fucking super stoned and nodding ever so warmly.
 
hangyourhead said:
I need to eventually try and make an attempt at trying R-Modafinil, sounds more fit than D,L-amps. I defintely have very irritating ADD, and stims keep me focused and sped up, but relaxed just fine. Can sleep perfect too the night of dosing that day. Same with crystal m-amp. I need a lisdexamfetamine script (basically XR d-amp purely), it also being my third to methamphetamine and pure d-amp/Dexedrine. It makes a far more functional person and happier because I'm not so anxiously restless out of boredom. Benzos only sooth so much of that but the 'zos + amps completely sooth. Clonaz and lisdexamfetamine is a godsend of a combination.
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I definitely am ADHD as fuck. I was prescribed Adderall IR for 3 years, then Adderall XR for 2 years, then Dexedrine XR for another 2 years. All these meds are super helpful for focus and all that, but I like R-Modafinil better than all of them. :D I've been on R-Modafinil for almost a year now and it's been a godsend for school and work. It helps you focus just as much as d-amp or any other stim, but it's much more side effect free. Long term amp use will inevitably make me extremely moody and lethargic on the comedown. I have never once experienced mood swings from R-Modafinil use, just a bit of lethargy and returning of ADHD symptoms. It's great, I'd highly recommend it.
 
I B Profane said:
Gonna taper off these 'zos and get myself on a sleeping med that doesn't cause as much rebound anxiety and/or memory loss. But lord do they help in the moment for back pain, and also anxiety and insomnia and stuff.
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It's a bitch, innit? Panic attacks / anxiety on its own is awful, getting it from the medication is horrific. I've been on Triazolam for insomnia for quite some time, I'd switch up, but there's nothing that compares in my experience (That will be rx'ed of course ;p). Still got about a week until my refills, but I'll have a few hundred Clonaz-LAM / Flubro-LAM to tide me over soon.. Or put myself right back into where I was I should say, I taper down, it's hell, then I go right back at it. I feel like I can't live without benzos, aside from the seizures and shit, my anxiety feels like straight heart attacks, and when I express this, I get back 'everyone has anxiety'. I know this is true, but I definitely think it's a lot worse for some than others.
 
Curently in nod villeZ. Fallowing with a huge shotbof ice.
Brought to me by the letter B(brown)as in boi.so itchy.fuck i feel so good.

Panic Attacks do suck.espically if they were brought on by an outsound uncrolling force(car breaking down,stranded,no phone,no cigatrette money.
 
Smoking weed and cigarettes and antibiotics to save the multiverse. My house is The Hot Zone. And The Twilight Zone. And I am trying to break out of The Alien Matrix.
 
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