well, last night after being sold talcum powder and sugar as a gram of heroin i decided to send a very angry text to the prick that sold me it. not that it would do much, i texted him from another phone asking to meet up to sell me another gram posing as someone else. kind of glad he didn't reply, as i was so fuming and angry i had a knife and was ready to stab the guy up if he didn't give back my money. today i've kind of gotten over it but i'm still withdrawing like hell, i guess this is opiate rage at its finest. people were warning me on BL not to go out incase i got stabbed! well perhaps i could have, who knows. all i know is that i'm glad i didn't go back out there. tomorrow i'm going to hang out around a methadone clinic unless i can get ahold of some opiates and fast because i'm really sick.
I'm never normally angry or violent either towards them or others, even when i'm boxing i've learnt to control my rage. when i meet a dealer i expect it to be business as usual and put a certain amount of trust in the guy i pick up from, i'm polite and friendly, getting it done as quickly as possible. i treat it as if i were buying goods from a shop so to speak, i'd never be rude, always pay up and never expect for them to mug me off. they never really have either, most people cop a look at me if they are going to scam me and walk away before i meet them i've found. not that i look that intimidating and i don't intend to be, i believe its just an aura that i give off warning people to not fuck with me. the bruised and cut up knuckles don't help, with a scar down the side of my eye and pretty wide and large shoulders in comparison to the rest of my body. (all gotten from bare knuckling boxing and regular boxing too)
to me though whenever i get mugged off i get very very angry and if they are nearby they don't have a pleasant time. i remember when i was 15 years old, stupid i know, buying cannabis in an obvious area of london i was sold tissue paper. the guy was pretty big as well and could have been armed, so thinking back it was probably a really stupid idea. i chased after the guy and stomped his head into the curb because he kept refusing to give my money back and asked what i was going to do about it, i said i'm going to beat the living shit out of him, he laughed and told me i couldn't do shit to him and i should leave before things get ugly. well, i proceeded to smack this guy in the face which knocked him to the floor, and continually stamped on his head and just left him there, face covered in blood and his teeth coming out of his mouth. i then proceeded to take my money back (and only my money, not the rest) and left him there. fucking prick.
looking back at that i realise it was a fucking stupid thing to do, but hey, he sold me fucking tissue paper as weed. he thought because i wasn't an adult i wouldn't be able to do anything, belittling me and telling me things would get "ugly" because he would do something. don't fucking think so. it was also in a relatively busy area so i'm surprised i haven't been picked up by the police for it or perhaps he just got up and got the fuck out of there after i'd left. since then the only time i've been mugged off was yesterday and i luckily had some valium at hand to keep my cool, otherwise it could have gotten really fucking messy.
i dunno. i just expect that people will come through with what they're selling instead of messing around with the guy, if i was a dealer and had gear or whatever sure i'd underweigh it or whatever, but i'd never fucking mug someone off id always provide them with the gear. i guess the people that are apparently selling the gear probably aren't dealers to begin with anyway.