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How careful do I need to be with mixing diazepam and alcohol.

Have you thought about the people who will find your body and how it will ruin their lives? I know first hand how much pain that causes people left behind hence my drug habit.

This is obviously a cry for help. Go to a hospital and be honest with how you're feeling.

There's treatment and medication that will help. Go for a hike in nature, reach out to someone. This feeling will pass but if you do it you're handing innocent people life long trauma. Do you really want to hurt people that bad?
 
It would be police officers who find me, and they are professionals. None of my family will be looking. Iv gone through all kinds of medications too many to list here, IV been sectioned lots of times and IV been through counselling, psychotherapy and normal talking therapies. It's over for me and I need to know how much meds I'm going to need to make sure I peacefully die in blissful sleep
 
TriptenderLucy said:
but thats simply not true if you have a tollerance and benzo tollerance doesnt go down for a loooooong time. if this guys taking 400mgs and not dying he has a huge tollerance,,, pretty obvious?
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I only took 400 once and it just made me sleep a lot longer. IV done a few 50mg and 100mg stints with not a lot of effect even with booze
 
there's a million different ways to die, if that's what you really wanna know

but this site is about how to live, not how to die



what if you're one of these ppl who keeps trying to kill themselves, but you keep being sent back because that's not how you're supposed to die?


did you ever think about?
 
@benladdie3000 Posting here means that you are looking for people to help you get out of this. If you have tried everything then I would guess that you clearly do not truly want to die, you just want the pain to stop and see death as the only way for that to happen.

I’m not one to recommend drugs, but the MDMA, psilocybin, and LSD assisted therapy studies are so promising that I would suggest looking into those if you are already considering ending your life. They are being trialed for PTSD, depression, and addiction and the vast majority of patients are experiencing partial or complete long-term remission, which is extremely rare for any treatment ever studied for these conditions yet

Those studies involve moderate dosages of those substances under the supervision of 2 therapists while you talk about and work through your illness and/or trauma. It’s very different from taking these drugs at a party or when hanging out with your friends, to the point that it feels like you are taking a completely different substance based on the environment and mindset you use.

If you don’t have access to a study, you could replicate them with moderate dosages of ONE of those substances. MDMA is the most effective by far for PTSD, but only LSD and psilocybin have been used for depression. If you or anyone in your family has schizophrenia, bipolar I, or any history of psychosis then please steer clear of LSD and psilocybin.

If you were to go with LSD or MDMA then you would want to get them tested with a reagent test kit (we have links to test kit companies in the Reagent Testing & Drug Checking section)
You would sit in a quiet room, turn off your phone (or at least uninstall all social media + Reddit), and plan things so that you would not be disturbed for at least 10 hours with psilocybin or 18 with LSD. The protocol is generally to ensure you have nothing to do the day before, day of, or day after.
Ideally you would have a therapist or at least a close friend experienced with psychedelics there to tripsit you, but if that isn’t possible for you then you could at least try getting an online tripsitter through Bluelight’s Discord community or another online community like Tripsit.

Again, if you are still here then clearly you are looking for options other than killing yourself.
Using psychedelics therapeutically has helped a lot of people I know, and it helped me get out of a very dark place as a teenager struggling with severe CPTSD and bipolar II.

If this is a path that you are looking at trying, then let me know and I can send you some resources.
 
As has been well said by many, this is a very dangerous combo. Not just in terms of health but also other potential dangers such as ending up in a police cell with no memory of what happened, or a hospital, or a ditch and it is very hard to keep track of how many pills you've had and how many drinks. I'd only recommend 10mg and a couple of beers indoors on your own, depending on tolerance (maybe 30mg if you have a higher tolerance and just want to chill). Wouldn't recommend loading up on pills and drink and then hitting the town. Chances are you'll be hugging a lamppost, pissing your pants and getting wound up by some rowdy yute and that's if you're lucky.

I used to do shit like this all the time as I basically had a death drive due to all kinds of shit happening in my life - I didn't care if I lived or died: benzos, H, pregabs, coke, drinks and I don't remember a lot of it. Some fun nights in hotels with the ladies and some one night stands, also even a couple of relationships which naturally didn't last but also some dangerous situations and plenty of blackouts. Worst I actually remember was waking up with blood all over my pillow which looked like a big bush or something as my hair was long. I don't remember what happened but I'd obviously been hit in the back of the head with a blunt instrument. I vaguely remember the area and that a lot of stupid beefing was going on but otherwise, it was a mystery.

It is basically a rule of thumb that mixing benzos with alcohol is a stupid idea that can lead to all kinds of trouble and should be avoided. If you feel like you must then be very careful and watch your intake - have a pal around who can keep an eye on you. Like a trip sitter for those of us who like our downers. One benzo and a couple of pints of Guinness might have you feeling like Mr Smooth but you can easily tip over that cliff edge. A very fine balance and a thin line that you cannot see and will have crossed before knowing it if you're not careful.
 
I mixed alcohol and diazepam for nearly 3 years, enjoyed the buzz and killed my hangovers.
Until one morning I woke up gasping for air. I am sure I stopped breathing in my sleep for a minute or so...

So some may think, like I did for a while the dangers of this combo are over exaggerated. Until you live or not to find it really is lethal.

So to answer the OP, it's like Russian roulette with this mix with the odds not on your side
 
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mauve said:
So 10 pages of op taking us on a ride wtf?
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Not really, IV asked for advice and made it clear that I don't want anymore help or anything intervention but I want out. I was a career minded, had a great family and kids but iv lost it all. Iv had all the therapy and medication the NHS will give me. And now I'm also in a lot of physical pain due to my prostate. 33 y.o is as far as I'm going to go. I miss my children, I'm mentally and Physically in a lot of pain.
 
Respect to @mauve for seeing this and offering advice. I hope that the OP gets help and into a better situation. I never thought I'd even make it to 30 but it is possible to turn it around if you look for help and really try to get it, even if you have to call 999 and tell them what you're really feeling. No one here wants to assist in anyone's death so please take the advice of everyone suggesting that you try and get some help where possible.
 
not sure about the pills, but i'm pretty sure drinking will cause the prostate to hurt more, like a lot more...
 
benladdie3000 said:
I do not want to live that's categorical.
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I'm sure your children want you to live.

But I think that you really do want to live, you wouldn't be posting here if not, you just don't want to experience this pain anymore. There is a difference. One is redeemable, the other is not.
 
benladdie3000 said:
I do not want to live that's categorical.
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The premise that you have to interact with us to figure out what the lethal dose of benzos and alcohol is when you can just Google it, really?

Either this is a massive trolling event or you are crying out for help.

"Bluelight help me. I can't figure out how much Valium to take with how much alcohol to kill myself"
 
Right, Ben. You need professional help. Even if you can't see that just now.

I'm sorry you're having a bad time of it but I think it's time you put your children first. Instead of putting all this effort into ending your life put it into building and maintaining a relationship with your kids. I can see you're hurting and sad but do you really want to inflict a lifetime of trauma and unanswered questions upon your children too? That is exactly what you're about to do to them. Or you could keep putting the effort in with your children. If you're miserable anyway, what does it fucking matter you might as well at least try to make those kids lives good with their father there for them. You could keep putting the effort in with you trying to see them regularly and building that relationship.

How do you want to be remembered? As a father who selfishly took his own life and left his children with a lifetime of trauma and questions? Or as father who never gave up trying to see his children, provided for them when he could and bonded with them when they needed him

As for killing yourself, you deserve better. And your children certainly fucking do. They deserve a lot better.

So how about you do what's needed and go get some help primarily for the sake of those around you? But also for yourself too for that matter. You may well feel a lot different about things in a few months time.
 
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Iv seeked help today via my GP who hooked me up with the local crisis team, which was worth a grand total of nothing. Iv also tried talking to my partner and she's not helpful on this subject and just completely blames herself for cheating on me in October but I was this way before that
 
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